[Nathan]

My wife went through two miscarriages, and because she wasn't very far along in her pregnancy, they weren't very traumatic experiences. Has anyone had experience with miscarriage later in the pregnancy or a miscarriage that affected them traumatically and feel comfortable sharing about how that situation affected you, to provide support for others in a similar situation?

[floridamama]

Many years ago, I had a friend who lost her son during her 5th month of pregnancy. Needless to say, it was very traumatic & sad.
Then, having to plan a little funeral on top of grieving...
My heart broke for her.

[mcmama]

I think the early ones are traumatic too, in their own way. You have the dissappointment, and you can have a lot of bleeding, and your hormones can go haywire.

[pattiewrites]

I agree that early ones are also traumatic, especially if you've been trying for a baby. I lost three babies total. Two were before we had any children at all. With the second, we had been trying for about a year and lost the baby at six weeks. I was very upset because we had wanted it for so long. It ended up taking me over four years to conceive again. Sometimes early ones are even more difficult because people think it isn't a big deal, since it was early. There is more support available for women who experience a loss later in the pregnancy.

[scrapbookguru]

I don't believe that one is any more traumatic than the other.
I had an early miscarriage and that was just as traumatic as the one I had when I was 5 months pregnant.

Pregnancy is the expectation of a baby. When it ends in miscarriage, all your dreams and hopes (even if you pretend you didn't have any yet) are shattered. It's a devastating loss.

I know I had a difficult time both times.

[shazbo]

my sister had to give birth at 6 months because the baby had stopped growing at 5 and slowly died of stavation she seem to get over it . she said it was ment to be . she went on to have a daughter 4 years after she got preg again miscarr . then went on to try again after 2 years to miscarr again i told her why keep punishing herself trying for other babies she said she wanted another she ended up having a baby girl in dec last year i think it was because she couldnt carry boys

[CrazedGypsy]

I recently had a miscarraige and at the time, I didn't know I was pregnant. In fact, I had known long before that if we were able to get pregnant that the pregancy wouldn't be viable and that we would miscarry in the first trimester.

For me, the hardest part was putting on a brave face for those around me while I was dealing with it emotionally.

I hadn't formed an attachment to the pregnancy, because like I said, I hadn't known I was pregnant...but being slapped with the reality of it all, then suddenly losing it...it was hard.

I think pregnancy loss affects everyone differently...and I also think that every loss, no matter how early in the pregnancy you are, gets harder and harder the longer you struggle with fertility issues.

[Lucky7]

I'm not sure that it is possible not to be affected by a miscarriage. Nathan, you may think your wife was ok with it, and maybe she was, but sometimes later events and time passing can make a woman think of her past miscarriages and grieve all over again. Sometimes just seeing a friend with a new baby is all it takes.

[shazbo]

i have never had a miscarrige but i think when it is in the first 3 months it is for the best usually when some thing is wrong you would be upset but not as much has a later miscarrige . where you hgave to give birth to it

[pattiewrites]

That's not necessarily true, but is a common myth. There are many causes of first trimester miscarriages that have nothing to do with the health of the baby: low progesterone, endometriosis, fibroids and many other fertility related causes. This is why some women have repeat miscarriages. I've had three at various stages and the early ones are just as emotionally painful as the later one, especially when you really want to get pregnant.