[yourlilfignewton]

I lost my little Reilly when i was only 11 weeks. i had a sonogram to make sure my due date was right and though Reilly was perfect size and looked perfect, there was no heart beat. Ill never forget the silence in that room. I had known i was pregnant since i was 2 weeks.I was only 19 at the time and my parents strongly dislike my boyfriend so it tore my family apart. but i have never loved anything as much as i loved Reilly. I heard things from people like "most women havent even known theyre pregnant long at this point" or "the baby was just sick, you didnt want a sick baby did you?" or "your young you'll have plenty of time for others." but i grieved for this baby just as much as my friend olie who lost hers at almost 8 months grieved. I dont believe that a loss at 6 weeks, 20 weeks, etc, is any different. its still a child and when youre looking forward to this little life and suddenly its gone with no explanation, no chance to really say goodbye, its heart breaking.

[babsandwoo]

Originally Posted by shazbo

it is common knowledge that you shouldnt really have exrays when you are expecting . didnt you tell your dentist that you were expecting

sorry i have to disagree there the amount of radiation you get from dental x-rays are tiny amounts, you are normally given a lead apron as a purely precautionary measure, as a dental x-ray machine is normally concentrated on one spot. ( im an ex dental nurse)

i have also lost a baby i got to 12 weeks but the baby didnt he/she died at 8+6, i had flown out to las vegas and back in a week, so i think it was the flight that cause my m/c, and a miscarriage at any stage is traumatic, im thankful that i had an early m/c and need to have a d&c and not a late miscarriage have to deliver my baby as that for me would be utterley deverstating.

[snowflake43]

All m/c are painful, I had an early m/c before i knew i was pg. that is how i found out i was pg. I felt some loss even though i hadn't known, But then a yr ago in sept. our baby boys heart stopped when i was 16wks pg. That was really devestating. But I never forget about the 1st one. There is not aday that goes by that I don't think & long for my baby boy Nathaniel, Prayers & best wishes to you & your wife. Becky

[alteregoeleanore]

Originally Posted by yourlilfignewton

I lost my little Reilly when i was only 11 weeks. i had a sonogram to make sure my due date was right and though Reilly was perfect size and looked perfect, there was no heart beat. Ill never forget the silence in that room. I had known i was pregnant since i was 2 weeks.I was only 19 at the time and my parents strongly dislike my boyfriend so it tore my family apart. but i have never loved anything as much as i loved Reilly. I heard things from people like "most women havent even known theyre pregnant long at this point" or "the baby was just sick, you didnt want a sick baby did you?" or "your young you'll have plenty of time for others." but i grieved for this baby just as much as my friend olie who lost hers at almost 8 months grieved. I dont believe that a loss at 6 weeks, 20 weeks, etc, is any different. its still a child and when youre looking forward to this little life and suddenly its gone with no explanation, no chance to really say goodbye, its heart breaking.

AMEN, Darlin! This is what happened to me in March of this year--except I began to spot first. I wish people would just keep their mouths SHUT when they don't know what to say to a grieving mother, having gone through this. Awkward silence is infinitely better than someone saying something hurtful, even if it wasn't intended. I've noticed that these comments always seem to come from someone who has NEVER been through it and has NO clue!!! And as nearly any woman who's been through this and is very much devastated by it can tell you, it doesn't matter how long the pregnancy was, or wasn't! And for me, each loss becomes more difficult to deal with--this one in March was my second. And I'm still reeling from it, because the baby's due date is Monday! And my body is acting out, as if it knows!
((((HUGS)))) to you, yourlilfignewton, I TOTALLY understand how you feel!! If you ever want to talk, PM me!

[babsandwoo]

Eileen {{{HUGS}}}

thinking of you honey

all my love to you and your lovely lovely family

sara XXX

[Mom0206]

I agree that any m/c is very tramatic!, but I also know there are different circumstances that affect everyone differently. With my m/c I went for my 22 wk check-up and found out my baby died around 16 wks. I had a D&C and that was that. With my SIL, she m/c when she was a teen. She was around 11 wks or so and got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and when she pulled down her underwear, there was tissue and a lot of blood. She went on to have 3 girls and is fine now. Your wife may seem fine (like I was after) but it will hit at times. I am pg now and I can't sleep at all. Every night I have dreams about suddenly bleeding and my baby having no heartbeat. It is something that never will go away and sometimes kicks really hard!

[clare076]

We just lost our baby boy Max at 17 weeks. He had triploidy which was detected the day I lost him. The amnio broke my waters (the little amount I had) and he was delivered peacefully after 6 hours of labour. It was a very traumatic way for a much wanted pregnancy to end. I have never had an early miscarriage, so I cant comment on how traumatic they would be. I often wish we had lost Max earlier in the pregnancy becuase somehow I think it might have been easier to deal with. Seeing his tiny body, his little feet, and hands were very hard. But then I also know we are getting alot more support than most women do with early miscarriages. We keep recieving flowers, sorry for the loss of your child cards also Max was cremated and we got to go to a memorial service and bury his ashes, we have photos and prints of his hands and feet. Women who suffer early miscarriages often have no momentos of their child.

I am the lucky one, my child chose to stay around until I could meet him as hard as that was for him and I am so thankful.

Clare
x

[wanttobemommy]

Ok So... I will jump in on this topic. I being in the postition of having multiple losses Have very strong opinions on this subject which is why I have been avoiding the longer threads. I do not wish a miscarraige on even my worst enemy. No matter how strong someone may appear on the outside a miscarraige is truely one of the most traumatic experiences for any woman that has ANY form of LIKE for a child. Even unwanted pregnancies that end in miscarraige can cause such depression. Miscarraige and stillborn and any kind of loss of a child can break your spirit. I had lost my oldest child at 22 weeks. He was born living and passed away 30 mins after. He was too small and premature to survive. I was told that I would probably have a lot of complications or never get pregnant again. I got pregnant again FIVE years later only to loose what I thought was a singleton pregnancy. Almost a full two months later six days after I married my husband I found out I was pregnant with twins. I had a substantal amount of bleeding and went to the ER with a friend went through what seemed like a million years worth of ultrasounds that I was not allowed to look at they told me the baby had no heartbeat. I didnt need anyone to tell me that I knew from the looks of the techs faces. I grieved for ever. I still hadnt fully healed from the loss of Jereth my oldest son who would be six this year. I found out months after having my D&C that I had lost yet another boy. Almost a year later I get pregnant dont even know it and find out that I miscarried I thought that I was just having my monthly but it turned out too heavy to be normal and a pregnancy test at my DRs office came back positive. I had lost yet another baby. So in total I have four miscarriages all at different stages.

No one can say that it isnt hurtful or painful when you loose a child. It hurts everyone differently. I can hold up this strong face and say I am ok but on the inside I am slowly dieing because my heart is breaking. I long for my children every day and when it comes closed to their birth/death days I am an emotional wreck.

From the point of conception the baby is just that a human life that is growing and to know that you have lost that life is just as harmful to the soul as loosing your mom or dad or any other significant person in your life.

Life is precious live life for the moment. Do not let the little things ruin the good things. Every single moment is precious. So whether their with you for a minute an hour a week a month or a year. Cherish those moments because you never know when you will loose it. This not only speaks for your children but for your loved ones.

Time can only tell how you will heal and how you will react but I truely believe that there are moments where everyone thinks back and wonders what if. I can wake up from a deep sleep to hearing the sounds of children crying. or even laughing and honestly it may be my mind playing tricks on me. But it is mainly my heart praying for the reality of it all.

[clare076]

Well said.

[Ginger79]

I felt that my very recent early miscarriage was extremely painful because I told only few closest friends about my pregnancy and the bleeding started only couple of days after that. I was so happy that I got pregnant and then I lost it almost immediately. And I couldn't tell anyone why I was so sick and sad because I didn't want to shock them.

Now I'm only hopeing that next time I'll have better luck...