[adamheartseve]

My 34 year old brother has once again been permitted to return to the nest. This year he created a huge mess for himself - lost his job, got his girlfriend pregnant and then moved her and the baby into my 62 year old mother's apartment for a few months. The girlfriend, who has a decent job earning a decent living didn't want to stay living with my mom and got an apartment for her and the baby and asked my brother to come with her and the baby. My brother refused to go with them citing no ability to pay the rent and meet other expenses with the income from a part time job he managed to secure in this horrible economy.
my mother let him stay with her (paying a nominal rent buying his own food)

The girlfriend moved out with my niece and she and my brother immediately get involved in a power struggle over when he could see the baby.

my mom tells my brother to go to family court and seek joint custody he does. then his girlfriend goes to court to seek child support (even tho he was paying regularly). my brother is served with the summons and doesn't tell anyone about the court date until the day before. when my mother learns about this, she goes into mommy gear and calls me (the lawyer) and tells me she wants to hire me to go to court with him the next day. i tell her how much it will cost and she changes her tune to she wants me to go with him for moral support because she can't take off of work and be there. i also learn from her that she's been giving him money to payback $$ to the girlfriend and so that he can obtain his transcripts to return to finish college. i do not go to court with him because he's a grown man, he never asked me himself and i cant work for free.

i think my mother is doing him a huge disservice by letting him live with her, giving his money and getting involved in the court proceedings. am i wrong? I'm also really pissed with her because she is freely giving him money yet balked at paying me for legitimate legal services (and she knows I am newly self-employed and struggling). further, i grew up in a single family home with an absentee father and I am REALLY pissed that my mom made it so easy for my brother to walk away from this new family. i think she should have told him to move with his new family and try to make it work. the baby is only 9 months old! instead he's got already got a new girlfriend he's bringing to my mom's apartment. i think she should put him out and let hit rock bottom because the whole situation is stressing her out. advise please.