[Magic_Mikki]

Loooong, drama-filled story... Sorry guys, and thanks to whomever takes the time to read and answer! hehe!

Some of you may remember that I posted about stealing names a while ago. For a refresher, my sister in law was really peeved off when my husband (who is her brother) and I named our daughter Alexandria, because it was a name on her "list" (even though she never mentioned this particular name before). Anyway, DH and I thought the whole list thing was ridiculous, seeing as that when we picked the name, SIL was single with no intentions of getting married or having babies anytime soon. (Not that you have to be married to have babies! hehe!)

Anyway, last weekend we were all over at the in-law's house, and SIL plopped down next to me with a "Don't **** me off with your answer" look on her face, and asked me what names we're thinking about for baby #2. (This baby is a BOY by the way!) Her now-fiance even warned her "not to go there", and it was clear that everyone in the room was aware what she was doing. My husband just warned me not to answer and told his sister that we weren't thinking about any names yet. I said, "No, no... it's ok! I'll discuss it!" I knew what she was getting at, but I'm getting so sick of the issue that I was willing to combat it, head on! I told her of our top two names, hoping that neither of the names were on her new "list": Ethan was my number one, but DH isn't a huge fan, which automatically takes it off the table, and it is also becoming SOOO popular. Also popular, but not as much, is my number two, but DH's number one: Austin. So far, this is the name we are going with, but of course, that could change by tomorrow. She immediately got about 20 different looks on her face, such as the "I knew it!" look, and the "You are a bit**" look, and so on! She screamed for everyone to hear: "But that's number TWO on my list! Go figure you guys would do this!!" As if we could read her mind and knew what names we 'couldn't use'! She made a big deal out of it, and it really started to get on my nerves the more she pouted!

First of all, she's not getting married for a while yet, and after that, they are waiting a year and a half to even start TRYING to conceive because their honeymoon is the summer following the wedding! Second, by the time she actually does conceive (plus another 9 months of hitting the baby-name books) she could very well dump the name like last night's garbage! That is what she does with her "list" all the time, anyway! (Her list is completely different than it was when I was pregnant with #1.)

That whole night was just hell- she rolled her eyes like she was a 17 year old high schooler, (She's 29.. you'd never guess!), and she made all sorts of comments about how we stole her name for Alex, and now we're doing it again. Then, a few days later, she wrote my hubby a text message telling him how pi$$ed she would be if we were to name the baby Austin!

Austin truly is #1 for us (since my actual number one is off the table), but of course we have a while to decide on something else if something else pops up. However, if it doesn't, would it be absolutely horrible of us to name him Austin?? Personally, if this were someone else's situation, I would say Go ahead and name the baby whatever you want! But maybe I'm just being biased... My hubby said we should just do it because SIL is being such a jerk about it (for the second pregnancy in a row)! But I don't want to name our baby a name just to get back at someone. I'm not sure if it is really a matter of morality, but since Austin is kind of a popular name, we're bound to have at least one name in common on our "lists"!!!

What do you ladies think?? Honesty is greatly appreciated! Thanks!

[QueenAngie]

Congrats on baby #2!

Michelle,

**deep breath** here,

SIL opened another can of worms......
and you took the bait.


She is not enjoying that you are getting all the attention with your pg and grandbaby #2. I do not even know her and figured this out.

Hence her probable need for big drama to center on her and her alone.

Am certain that the drama queen SIL will continue to be like this her entire life.


In the meantime, tell everybody that you are going to name the baby
Aaaabbbbccc.......or whatever pops into your mind.
Maybe you could make this auntie a Godmother, or other special honor to make her feel special.


In the act of family unity, don't take the bait. Make it easier on everybody in DH's family, and just smile at her.

Reminds me of that southern story that every southern lady knows,
if you can't say anything nice about her...
say, "Bless her heart, my sister-in-law!"


SIL may only have boy babies or girl babies. That is in the future as her dream.

It truly is not her business what you name your child. It only involves you and DH. No need to discuss names w/ any family member except for DH.

My thoughts are this: you have the baby, you name the baby anything that appeals to you and DH.

Stay healthy and happy.

Who knows? One day, this SIL may be your best friend.

[MommaColleen]

IMO, you and DH are the only ones that have any say in what you name your child. Do not even worry about your SIL, she will get over it. If not, then she is obviously very childish and needs to do some growing up before she starts having her own kids.

What does she expect that no one else in the world is going to name their child the same thing she does? If that is the case she better come up with some really unique names!

[twinzplus3]

I think that you handled your sil with such grace that you should take mine too! I'll send her your way asap!!!!

[Magic_Mikki]

LoL! You ladies are great! QueenAngie- Thank you! You are 100% right, in that she doesn't like all the 'attention' that it brings DH and I. She admitted to us that when we were pregnant with our first she was angry at us for having a baby and getting married before her when she is older than us. Oh well! Also, we aren't going to give her any grip in this anymore. We felt bad that we 'stole' baby name #3 from her list when we named DD Alexandria, so we had her middle name by Lynn, after SIL's middle name. She is also the godmother of DD, so this time- Nothing for her! I think it is great advice to honor her somehow with the baby (which we did the first time around) but since she continues to act like a child, I'm not going to continue baby a 29 year old! hehe!

Anyway, I love you guys for making feel better about the subject.. I was really hoping that people would be on my side!

[vanaden]

Grr. That would make me so mad if someone was accusing me of stealing "their" name. Okay there are only so many names in the world, there are bound to be very common names!!! She doesn't even have kids and isn't even pregnant? Why is she entitled to the name when it's not even being used by her yet???
That is dumb and totally childish!

[zekesmom]

I think you've received some great answers so far. The only concern would be if the SIL is petty enough to treat her neice and nephew (your children) in a way that would be negative. In otherwords, if the entire family is close and there will be a lot of ongoing interaction between her and your children, could she snub or be nasty to your children to get back at you for what she considers a slight?

Just a question.

[altland]

It sounds like no matter what name you said, it would be on her list. If you want to end this fight, tell her to write down her names so you know what's off limits. Why can't two cousins have the same name? They will probably have nicknames so it wouldn't be that confusing. Not that I am saying her opinion matters at all, but what if you asked her for some name suggestions and made her feel included?

I solved this problem with "my" rule. We won't tell anyone what we are naming the baby until we introduce her to the world. When I was preg with the first one, I decided I didn't want to hear anyone's opinion. This was a decision me and daddy made. Nobody else. This way I wouldn't feel bad if I didn't choose a name someone wanted. It also kept them in suspense until the big day. Plus, I know this is silly. But I think the name will fit the child and I don't know if it will fit until I see the beautiful baby. I don't want to commit until the moment I see her.

I hope this helps create some peace. Stay healthy and enjoy becoming a new mommy.

[Alejandros Mommy]

I agree with altland. Don't discuss and names with anyone at all. Just let Dh and you pick out what you like and don't tell anyone. IT is your choice what you pick...it'd be differnt if she was PG and had picked out a name for her baby already and you choose the same one. BUT she is not PG and won't be for a while so just ignore her and don't discuss anything like this with her again.

[Labhaoise]

devils adovcate here
Like atland said, get her to write down "her" list, then read through it while she's there and comment on each of the names there... like "oooh xyz, i hadn't thought of that name. I kind of like it." ask your dh what he thinks aswell. Yes it's rather childish, but could be fun if you get sick of being the mature one in this situation.
But really, name your child what you want to, don't worry about what your SIL likes. chances are, she won't like that name when she's pregnant. I also think that you should keep name choices to yourselves, that way, when the baby is born and already has a name, its too late for any complaints.