[Rissa812]

Maybe it is because she is 5, but she likes to jump around on the furniture, slide down the steps, etc. When I tell her to stop she thinks I am crazy. I do not want to hit her, but sometimes I think it is the only way she will realize that I am serious. Her father and I separated when I was 5 months pregnant with her. We now have joint custody and he lets her do anything she wants. I want her to learn there are rules that have to be followed and it is hard when one parent doesn't discipline her. I have been with my fiance for 2 years and she calls him daddy. She will only listen to him sometimes. How do I get her to listen without being a bad mom?!
I know she will be mad at me first, but it in the end everyone will be happier. I take things away like t.v or computer, but it doesnt seem to work.

[QueenAngie]

Calmly squat down to her level, eye to eye and tell her, "We do not jump on the sofa in this house. You need to sit on the time-out chair for 5 minutes."
Set a timer for 5 minutes.

OK, I just noticed you are 38 weeks along and probably can't squat so well. Try this.

Gently take her face in your hands, so she will look you in the eyes, "We do not _____ in this house. You need to sit on the time-out chair for 5 minutes." Set a timer for 5 minutes.

Consistently do this. Each time. Every time. Have her stepdad consistently do this too.

I do sense that with a new baby coming into the family, there will be adjustments and she will not be the only one.

Also, is she getting outside playtime? Can you take her to the park to play? Sounds like she has a lot of energy to run off.

(((Hugs)))

[MissyChrissy]

Be firm-yes, she'll be mad at you, but you do have to be a parent. I agree with Angie...although personally if she refused to sit, I'd spank her. I think it would only take once (but if you have to cry like I did, do it in the bathroom where she can't see). People do find ways of disciplining without spanking-I hope you find something that works for you, and that you're comfortable with. I just want to add that IF you did resort to a quick spank on her bottom that it would NOT make you a bad mom.

[twinzplus3]

I have never been successful at spanking at 38 weeks! But you've already gotten some great suggestions. . . I agree with both gals. I would also add that you need to try to catch her at a good time and take her out. . .just the two of you. . .Don't tell her you're going to do it bc if she's awful that day and you still do it then the connection is made that her behavior doesn't matter. Just catch her at a good time and run out for an ice cream cone or something special. I have found w/all my kids that the period immediately preceding a brith and immediately after have been difficult times and the more time I take to reaffirm my love for them, the less behavioral issues we have. HTH

[pattiewrites]

How much time does she get to play outside? My four year old gets excitable and difficult to calm down when she is cooped up in the house for too long. She really needs time outside running and jumping on the trampoline. Then, she doesn't need to exert the energy in the house.

[barefootbookslady]

You are totally on the right track in being concerned and on it! I have two Scorpio girls - high energy and lots of physical contact. Sometimes I challenge them to do 50 jumping jacks to get out that energy... Like "I wonder if you can do 50 jumping jacks..." - they want to take on this challenge and it is a way to "channel" the energy somewhere else. I'm not telling them what to do this way - just laying out a challenge.
When my girls are out of control I bring them to their room and point out 3 items they really treasure then threaten to take one away and another will be next if they can not "get it together" this works sometimes but sometimes I store some items at the top of my closet. They must "show me good behavior" to get the item back. They actually begin to enjoy the nice, helpful behavior like unloading the dishwasher or vacuuming and then we discuss how this is helpful to me and their poor attitude is not. Item given back. So, it's a bit like taking away t.v. but they see you take the object - believe me, they are upset but I gave them that "stuff" and I explain that they are not treating me with respect I deserve. I treat them with respect and they need a reminder.
Good luck - motherhood is certainly not for whimps as we all know!

[Karo_lina]

Children need short and effective advices !!!!
You won´t be successful if you say " Could you please do .............?"
"could you stop ...........?" If you want your child to do something or to stop doing something NEVER ask ... it´s just normal that your child says "NO!" because you give him the chance to answer with yes or no.
Your message has to be short and clear "I don´t want that you do ...............!" Be serious when you say that and don´t laugh. If you laugh your child thinks it´s funny and will play that game all the time with you.
And you have to be consistent ... ALWAYS just in that case your child will take you serious.

[Rissa812]

I do need to get her outside more. After reading your posts, I do not think she gets to lose the energy. It wont be easy to get her out during the day but when DH comes home around 5, maybe I squeeze in some park time before dinner. Maybe even catch with our puppy will work. Then I could kill two birds with one stone. She doesn't have a problem due to the fact of her new baby brother that I can see. I still make time for her like watching a movie she picks out or baking a cake. She likes to help with her brothers and will play with her 1 year old brother until they are both passed out on the floor. With the new baby she likes to hold him but it is usually around the time he needs to eat so I have to say no. Her father buys her everything she wants and when she comes home she expects me to buy her a new toy. This gets hard to explain to her. I dont have to buy her a toy everytime she comes home. Talking to her dad about this is a like talking to a wall. He wants to be the good dad and thinks she will want to live with him and she wont want to see me anymore when she is older. That is another reason I feel horrilbe for disciplining her, but I know I have to.

[Karo_lina]

That's very good that you involve her in helping. By helping you with the baby she gets a feeling of responsibility. You should tell her more often that she is a big sister now and that you NEED her help. You make her self confidence stronger in that way.

[swt1899]

What I've done with my nephews and neices and the camp children I teach (ages 4-5) is do a sort of pairing of words... "You're jumping on the couch. This is not allowed" That tells them what they are doing and that it isn't allowed. Also when walking around the zoo some of the children I had would try to run ahead (major major danger her in Houston - even if I told them the rules ahead of time). I would ask them "John, where are you supposed to be?" 9 out of 10 times he would answer "in line" then I would resond with "Please stay with us so you do not get lost." And if it occured again, there would be consequences. But the seriousness in your voice and your face makes or breaks this. Now during the school year I teach teens and that is harder, but with your age of children it might be worth a shot.