[sunnyparent]

just wanted to say im glad i found this site, seeing this post has really helped to understand whats going on with my little one and his in laws.. We are all close and they allways seem to overexcited when they see him, i know its a grandparent thing and they just happy to see him but when ever i voice my opinion on how my baby feels they allways seem to look at me as if to say, surely u dont think its that, and allways push a diffirent explantion in the way..... I try to confront them and be firm but each time i'm the one that feels guilty and bad..... just hope that we come to some sort of happy medium where we can all be happy.....
It's not bad that my baby doesnt see them every other day is it? or that i dont feel im ready or his ready to be left with them on his own yet his only 3 months old his my first little one and i just want to make sure his safe and sound.

[twinzplus3]

I have to ask. . .how many grandchildren do these parents have and how many children did they have?

My mom doesn't ask for sleep overs bc she lives in Colorado and I think she knows it would be a little much. My in-laws take the older ones. . .but not the little ones--unless of course one of us really has a need. But what I find is that since they had 4 kids of their own and 12 grandchildren. . .they certainly don't exacerbate the problem!

No you shouldn't feel guilty and no--you don't need to leave her overnight--especially if you're bfing. One person once told me that it was very helpful for her to define her mother's relationship wtih her grandchildren. She gave her grandmother the title of "magic maker" meaning that her mother's job was to make magical moments for the children. All of hte sudden grandma is outside at her own house making a garden, collecting cool and unusual toys and subscribing to Family Fun to get cool ideas.

I know for me, one thing I did was find ways for my MIL to help with the twins. The twins were my last babies. . . #4 & #5 and well, obviously I needed help. But she had never encountered someone who wanted to exclusively breastfeed and I really couldn't have her over all the time taking them. So I gave her a "to do" list--make me freezer meals, do a Costco run once a month etc. I told her she was by no means obligated but if she wanted to, that would be really helpful.

I truly think that they just want to help and I think it's hard to see someone parent one of your loved ones differently than you might of. We all parent the way we do because we have a conviction that it's the best way to do it for our family and/or for our situation. In any case that's my 2 cents worth--find something that they CAN do to help. The bonding will happen eventually when the baby is ready. And btw, no I don't think it's bad that she sees her grandparents every other day. We live far from family, my kids all love their grandparents to pieces, and think that they may well walk on water.

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board, Qnsmama & Sunnyparent!

The great thing about this board is that there is always several other moms who have already experience the same issue and can help with their experiences.

Also, you can just bet that another lady some 3,000 miles away has a baby the same
age and is having the same concerns.

We are all here to help each other. So glad you've both joined!

[V-V]

Hello, I am a new grandmother, and I'm the mother-in-law. My grand daughter is a little over 3 months old. Up until a few weeks ago, she let me hold her and cooed/smiled when I held her. Now, she starts screaming when I hold her. I usually see her once a week...sometimes we go two weeks between visits. I don't understand what's going on. She starts screaming when she sees her grand daddy before he even gets the chance to hold her. It is heart breaking to us. Being the mil, I try not to overstay my welcome, so we try to keep our visits to a couple of hours at a time. After reading the other responses, I am wondering how you young moms define "pushy". I don't know if I am pushy or not...I/m not sure what that looks like or sounds like. Any advice? V-V