[fostermommy]

So angry I could just spit. Thank God there's a place to "whine and vent!!" My MIL lives in Central America and is my grandmother's age. Thus, I have always given her a little slack when it came to her rude comments about my weight, my child-rearing practices, my relationship with her son, my financial practices, etc. I always told myself that not only a cultural difference, but a generational difference play a huge role, and I've just kept my mouth shut. On our last visit to her home, she sat my husband down in front of me, and told him how disappointed she was in me for not learning fluent Spanish, and for gaining weight over the previous 10 years. She told him to order me to stop eating candy (which I rarely do) and to stop taking naps (which I never do!) After that visit, I informed him I would never return to her home, but that he was welcome to go alone anytime he wished to. I don't wish to get into a conflict with her, but I don't wish to sit there and take her abuse and disrespect either. This woman never sends a card or gift for any of our children for any occasion. She shows no interest in them whatsoever - except to criticize us for using daycare, and to criticize us for having 3 (as the whole purpose for birthing children is to have a boy and a girl - then stop?!?!?!). She once told us that, if we have another child, don't even send a picture because we have no business having more children. We "have more than we can handle." Well -- our children are in their teens now and are doing wonderfully. We are doing foster care, and have decided to adopt the little boy who has been with us for 2 years now. Initially, she thought it was great that we were helping out children who were less fortunate. However, now that she knows we are trying to adopt..............she has advised my husband to reconsider -----as we should be adopting only "our own kind." WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Yes the little boy is African American. So what. So we can care for him as long as we refer to him as our "poor foster child" but can't ever call him our son????? I simply can't excuse this type of bigotry and attribute it to cultural or generational difference. What a snob. What makes this so ironic is that my husband is Hispanic, and I am Caucasian. So..........what exactly is "our kind?" I posed this question to my husband, and he just laughed..........he thinks that maybe his mom thinks of him as "stepping upward" by marrying me. What a piece of work. I am glad that she lives so far away. I will never see her again. Unfortunately, our children have no relationship with her. However, she would be such a bad influence. I just feel sorry for my husband --- who gets the constant criticism of his family plugged into his ear whenever he calls her. I'm thankful that he clearly sees her ignorance.