[xdeity]

we just found out about 2 weeks ago that my wife is pregnant, we suspected mainly because she started becoming moody. she has two other children but this is her first with me and i have been warned that she is 'evil' at the beginning of being pregnant. even so, i was not prepared for the level of aggression and the volatile moods she is having. i think i'm going to end up physically hurt if this continues. she's al4ready thrown a glass bottle me whic`h just missed.
what i want to know is, are there any treatments for these moods and aggression, i know its hormonal but i cant take much more, she's making my life hell and she's only one month pregnant. for the first time in my life i'm scared of a woman, because i just dont know what she will do next or the mood she will come home in or what i will come home too.
how long can these moods last, wll they settle down. can anyone help?

thanks so much,

a devoted husband who just needs to know whats happening

[mrmnmom82]

Well, I used to be a sweet girl, then I got pregnant! Not really, My moods are only inhanced my hormones. And NO!! she shouldn't take anything for this! There is a baby growing in her, she can't just put things willy nilly into her body. It's not ok for her to be physically, or emotionally abusive. Does she realize she is like this? I hate to tell you this, but, when we're pregnant, our responses that seem over the top to you, feel like the exact response deserved, sometimes. My husband told me, his friend just gave me a frietened look, that "Honey, you're scary!" when I lost it my first pregnancy. It didn'nt occur to me before then that there was anything wrong with the way I was acting, I was pregnant and allowed to wear my heart on my sleeve, right? Wrong. I have since become more aware that I can get pretty scary sometimes, and have to pull it back in.

Now if she threw something at you, you may not be the person to tell her this, at least not in the moment. Wait until she has calmed down. But be prepared to be informed of the perfectly logical reason she did this, what you did to anger her. Remember, our responses make perfect sense to us, it is you who should have watched what you say, and how you say it. Do I agree with this statemant %100? No, %85. You need to be carefull about what you say and how you say it. My husband warns me when he is about to say something he know I won't like. "Honey, I love you, ... but...." and then he tells me how he wished I would have handled something a bit differently. It works for us.

Good Luck.

[xdeity]

hi, and thanks for the reply, i was not specifically thi nking about pills, more meditation/excercises/yoga/ANYTHING to calm her down.
i work in a position where i am often verbally or physically abused or even attacked, but when its your wife doing it, its very hard to take.
I dont want her on pills, but i am concerned she is going to do something extremely stupid, the more she winds herself up, the more convinced of this i am.
dont get me wrong, i would never hurt her, pregnant or not, but i am begginning to feel that i may have to defend myself against her if she continues down this path, and thats a frightening prospect for me, as if i did hurt her i'd never forgive myself. this is not just like throwing a tantrum, she is getting to the point where i am expecting her to try to hurt me. although i know she will be sorry afterwards and cry, be loving and tell me how much she loves me, when she's up there its like the lights are on but no one is home

[mollymae]

I think that she needs to see a doctor for her own safety and yours.

[Kats Playland]

Sorry to hear that, but I can relate to the situation. My husband has told me the same thing about myself... Hopefully she will calm down soon, but if not you might want to talk to her doctor about it. I know they can do some things for it cause my friend had to have something done with her moods. She was scared she was going to spaz out on her son. But for now try to get her to do some calming exercises til you guys talk to her doctor.
Good luck and know you aren't alone in this.

[mrmnmom82]

Maybe you should sit down when she's calm and decide on a word or phrase to say to tell her when she is getting out of control. And she can agree to stop in her tracks, whatever she is doing, count to ten or something, and sit down and have a glass of water or something. Since she seems to have remorse for her behavior, I hope she agrees to let you call her on her behavior.

[xdeity]

thanks for the replies, i cant see her going to the doctor willingly, she cant see there is anything wrong and i cant force her to go. she doesnt like doctors, she would even go to the hospital when she had a very painful and bloody miscarriage 8 months ago, and she ended up quite ill with that

[mrmnmom82]

Isn't she seeing a doctor regularly for the pregnancy, even a midwife can offer advice on this.

[xdeity]

she is seeing the doctor about the pregnancy however she will not tell them about this because she cant see anything wrong, and even if she could she's too stubborn to tell them.
she has not spoken to me all day since slamming the door while leaving the house after hurling abuse at me because i turned over in the night and it woke her up.

[Magic_Mikki]

Yikes... your lady is scary! Do you ever go to the doctor with her? Maybe next time you two go together, YOU can bring it up! Also, some may say that you should never take a pill during pregnancy, but not everyone believes that. There are many medications out there that are safe during pregnancy. Perhaps your doctor could recommend one, if you're up to it!

Have you tried talking to your wife about what happens, after it's all done and over with? Being abusive, during pregnancy or not, is unacceptable. Pregnant women are very hormonal, that is no lie! But abusive?? Sounds like an excuse... or like something more is going on upstairs?

Perhaps you could insist on going to the doctor with her for her next visit?