[doctorsmom]

I found this website because of my search for information on narcissistic personality disorder. What I have read on the site deals with people who are dealing with a narcissistic parent or spouse....but does anyone have any experience dealing with an adult child? I have been having relationship issues with my daughter for the past six years. She was having some infertility issues at the time...so I blammed it on that...and she displayed a lot of jealousy when her younger brother and wife had a child before she did. But she now has four beautiful healthy children....and if anything our relationship has gotten worse. My daughter is a physician and the way she has treated her brother and his wife is appalling. It has just been so hard for me to believe that she could do and say the things that she has said. I have confronted her on some of the things she has done...and I know she has lied to me. She finally did admit to some lying....but only because she got caught...not that she felt any kind of remorse. She is my only daughter and I admit to spoiling her when she was young. But she was a wonderful child. She gave me no trouble. She studied hard, was involved in lots of school activities and had her share of work to do at home. I am just floored on how to handle her. She treats me with such disrespect. She belittles me and has accused me of favoritism. That is almost laughable because she received much more attention than my sons. She is very competitive and she seemed to change the most when my son and his wife were expecting. But like I said she has not gotten any better...only worse. Does anyone have any advice?

[DK615617]

wow, I don't have any advice. I just hope that someone on here will. It sounds like you really love her, and I hope that you are able to fix your relationship with her. Did her brother do something to hurt her feelings, that she hasn't been able to get past??
Good luck to you.

[doctorsmom]

No...the only thing her brother did was have a child before her. My son has confided to me though that he has been receiving belittling remarks from her ...since he was in high school. They both graduated at the top of their class./both high school and college. My son always looked to his sister as a role model. Evidently my daughter looked at him as someone who was competing with her. That is not true. My son is a very humble person and never brags or talks about himself. After doing lots of research and talking to other family members I have finally figured out that she has narcissistic personality disorder. All the symptoms fit her. I have also read that if confronted....she will never see herself as having this disorder. And she is a doctor....so she should know. At least that is the way she would see it. I don't know how to react to her. I am thinking of just staying away (although that is hard....since she has four beautiful children) but I am thinking that if she really has this disorder...it will surface with others...and she won't be able to blame me. Any advice anyone?

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board!

No advise from me. Hoping another friend will be able to help in your search for medical information about your daughter's condition.

Wishing you all the best!

[rick31797]

I wonder if with Doctors there is a higher chance of having this disorder..Becuase of health problems i have seen many Doctors, and alot of them make you feel like your of a lower value.Does something happen inside with all the hard work it take to get where there are??
I doubt very much if you will ever change your daughter.. only time will change her., or a tramatic event . You are right, that she will never admit to such a disorder, and i bet she would laugh in your face. MY suggestion , is i would back off, and not push her buttons, but you really need to have a realationship with your grandchildren and they need a realationship with you. Never ever talk about your daughter problems with her children.. I know you know that. When she found out it would elevate the problem between the two of you, and give her reason to stop all contact with your grandchildren.
But really , most people do not see there faults. I know i have some i won't admit too.The only hope i believe is time.Time will change people and maybe she will look back and regret some of her actions.
Good luck
Rick

[BewilderedinMo]

I too have a narcissistic daughter. I have been searching for help in dealing with her. She once went for 2 years without speaking to me in spite of me attempting to communicate with her. I texted and emailed and snail mailed and tried to call but she refused to respond. It happened after she graduated from high school and I refused to buy her a new car for graduation. Which coincided with her dad's death.
At 6 months she turned blue and curled up in a ball and I thought she was having a seizure. I rushed her to the ER. Her pediatrician came in and told us that she was having a temper tantrum. I reinforced that she was only 6 months old. And he said that the tantrums would get worse and as she grew to make sure she was away from the furniture so she didn't hurt herself. She would throw herself to the floor, ground or wherever and turn blue and pass out. It was a very scary thing to witness but something I tried to ignore-as much as I could. I mean, if she didn't get her way you had to expect that she was going to do her thing.
I really shouldn't be surprised that this is happening at all. Given her history, I should have known this behavior wasn't normal. My son told me recently that my daughter is pregnant. She is unmarried too. She hasn't talked with me. Having another tantrum because my husband an I refused to pay her water bill.
I am hoping that things will get better. Is there anyone out there who can shed some light on this situation? Will I have a relationship with my grandchild? Will my daughter ever be any better? Any answers.
BewilderedinMo

[Momof2kids]

Well, I will try and help Doctorsmom first, if you can't get thru to your daughter, how about her husband? Have to tried to confide in him? Maybe he could shed some light on the situation, even if it is not you and something he sees with her and other relationships. As someone stated already, don't share your feelings with the kids....it is not their problem and you don't want to bring them into it. Also, if you have to pull away, keep in contact with the kids--maybe cards, little tokens, pictures you can send and then spend quality time with them.....Good Luck

[BewilderedinMo]

Hi there. I asked for advise yesterday. Well, my daughter wrote to me but hasn't told me she is pregnant yet. Ironically she had started medical school but decided that being a doctor was not something she could do. She is in the medical field but not a doctor but acts as though she is special or should receive special treatment-always. She got mad because I didn't want to put a very large (11x14) picture of her on my very small wall. It just looked too weird. I offered to let her have it back because it just didn't look right on my walls. She is beautiful. But she knows it. Her facebook page has 400+ pictures of her with friends. It is so unbelieveable.
Trying to understand it.
BewilderedinMo

[browneyes01]

I think you should ignore her and stay away from her for awhile and let her display her diorder to other people and have them confront her since when you do it ends up as though you are against her. My sister was diagnosed with BI-polar and manic depression and her and my mother cannot get along if someone paid them too. And my mother is so supportive of her but it's just the dosorder that causes them to act this way. don't take it personel.