[pamperedpeterson]

First off, this is going to be a long read. I appreciate your time in reading it and offering advice.
About 3 weeks ago, my friend (let's call her Angie) and her husband were at another friend's house for dinner. They played a round of cornhole, during which time Angie discovered that her friend's husband (Tim) was drunk, and kept making sexual comments to her. Nobody else heard him, since Angie's husband and Tim's wife were on the opposite side of the lawn. At one point, Angie went inside to use the bathroom and Tim also went into the house, so Angie locked the door in case Tim tried to go in there with her (he didn't). Angie didn't tell her husband about it, because she was afraid it would cause unneeded friction between everybody, and Tim was obviously drunk.
About a week later, Angie was online at facebook and Tim saw her online and started chatting with her. He kept making comments and coming onto her again. She kept ignoring the comments, and finally just ended the chat and went to bed. The next morning her husband (Ben) saw the chat screen and basically accused her of cheating on him, and they got into a huge fight. The next day and most of that weekend they just fought. They have 3 kids (10, 10, and 6) and of the kids asked what they were fighting about, and Ben told the kids "your mother is not honoring me as a husband!" Then they asked what he meant, and he told them that she was online flirting with another man. {OMG, he boils my blood!} So then the kids were upset and begged Angie not to leave (something she had NO intention of doing, she wasn't even flirting!). By Monday, they had finally worked through everything and Angie thought it was over.
But Ben kept calling her throughout the day and alternately yelling at her, saying he was going to make her take a lie detector test, that he didn't believe her; and then he'd call and apologize and said he was wrong, and he just loves her so much. He even brought home flowers for her.
Meanwhile, Angie has no idea how to respond to this. One minute Ben's fine, the next he's crying and saying he just loves her so much and he's so hurt at what she did. He keeps checking her internet history and cell phone when he gets home. He has told her she's not allowed to attend her church, they can only go to his church. He went through her Facebook list and removed anyone he didn't want her to talk to. He calls her at least 5 times a day, wanting to "just talk" (though he usually ends up yelling at her or crying) for hours at a time. (He drives a sanitation truck) The phone calls are making it so she can't even homeschool the kids, because first she's on the phone, and second she's so distracted. This has been going on for over a week. I'm the only friend she feels she can talk to, because she's lost contact with most friends (because of Ben).
He is threatening to kill himself if she leaves. OMG I just want to take Angie and her kids and hide them from this bastard. The weird thing is, I never knew he was like this, but Angie says he's been "mostly" like this for the 11 years they've been married. It's just gotten worse since "the incident". Today she called me and told me she plans to "hold it together" until after the 10yo's birthday in January, then she's leaving.
First, do you think Angie did anything wrong?
Second, what should she do to save the marriage? Is it worth it?
Should she try to hold it together for the next 3 months?
What can I do for her? It is financially possible for me to get her and the kids far, far away.

[pamperedpeterson]

ugh, I forgot one thing. Angie and Lily are hosting a Halloween party together, and Ben told her he didn't want her going to it. She told him she was definitely GOING to do it, because for the last week he was okay with it. Now he's saying she's choosing her friends over him, to which she responded that she's trying to provide some normalcy for the kids, since he decided to drag them into their fight.