[tblinparadise]

I have only been married for a year. However, we have been together for 10 years... ever since I was 15. As of late, I just feel so 'empty' inside when we are together. Most of the time I dread going home. I am happier when I am alone or with my friends. I am almost repulsed by kissing him or showing him affection. I feel like I have fallen out of love with him. We recently had a little fight and all of this came out. Again. I have admitted this to him once before. A couple months after we were married, that I wasn't happy. He started doing things to try and make me happy and I pretended they were working. Now, I have admitted that it's all been an act because I didn't want to hurt him again. He begged for me to give this a second shot and I said okay. But, no matter what he does, I just can't get those feelings back. Is this marriage capable of saving? Is is even worth our time?
There is no doubt that he loves me so it kills me to have to do this to him. He is torn by the fact that I am not in love with him anymore. Even though I do love him very much and I care for him deeply, I just do not feel that I am in love with him. And I don't know how to get this back... or if I even want to.

[vanaden]

I definatley know what you mean and how you feel. I have went through these phases in my relationship as well, truly. I have been married only almost 2 years (in december) and we have been together 7 years over all.
I have been through periods of time where I thought I'd be so happy to leave and not be with him anymore. I have thought that I didn't and couldn't love him anymore. I have been repulsed to kiss him and for him to touch me. I totally understand!
I'm here to tell you , it could be just a phase. I am more in love with my husband now than I have ever been. Once we resolved some serious issues (my past and pain from that) we grew stronger. Now our relationship and sex life (sorry tmi) is better and stronger than ever!!!
Don't give up on yourself...are there just serious issues to be dealt with here?

[DivasMomma]

I am going through all the same feelings. DH and I have been married a little over a year and sometimes I feel like I would be happier without him. We have a lot of issues to work through, but when we arent together I cant even imagine not being with him!

Im hoping its a stepping stone that we need to cross.

Good luck!

[tblinparadise]

Originally Posted by vanaden

I definatley know what you mean and how you feel. I have went through these phases in my relationship as well, truly. I have been married only almost 2 years (in december) and we have been together 7 years over all.
I have been through periods of time where I thought I'd be so happy to leave and not be with him anymore. I have thought that I didn't and couldn't love him anymore. I have been repulsed to kiss him and for him to touch me. I totally understand!
I'm here to tell you , it could be just a phase. I am more in love with my husband now than I have ever been. Once we resolved some serious issues (my past and pain from that) we grew stronger. Now our relationship and sex life (sorry tmi) is better and stronger than ever!!!
Don't give up on yourself...are there just serious issues to be dealt with here?

How did you resolve this?
Serious issues?
Well, I have felt this way for some time now... a long time. Only recently, I took a vacation to visit my mother and met this amazing guy. We had sparks from the moment we met eyes and we talked non stop for hours. Nothing sexual at all, but a connection that I (nor him) have ever felt before... everyone else there saw it too. We talked as if we had known each other for years! And it made me wonder, if I am really missing something in my life. I can't tell him about this connection I felt with someone else because it would kill him. But it has really got me wondering about our relationship... I have never felt that way for him ever. And that makes me sad. Something is defintely missing! I want to be happy and I want him to be happy. He swears that I make him happy but I just don't see how. We work the same hours so we get home at the same time. I cook dinner, clean up, we watch a little tv... on seperate couches, browse the web for a little bit... on seperate computers while on seperate couches and then go to bed. What kind of life is that?
Besides that, I have felt this way for a couple of years now... I thought that the problems would just work themselves out. Apparently not.

[mrmnmom82]

I don't know of any problems in relationships that just "work themselves out". It takes effort, and a clear decision to do so. I too have these feelings at times with my husband. I speak up when it happens, "Hey, roomy! We're sitting in the same room together and not even talking. Can we spend some time "together"?

It's good that you are speaking up about it now. Have you thought about some counseling? Maybe your local church leader, or a profesional could help you try and figure out what may be keeping you from feeling closer to hubby.

[KR258]

I agree it takes effort. If you loved him before you can love him again. You both have to make a big effort. Go out on a date, watch a movie together eat popcorn, go dancing....whatever you used to do. Go on a picnic, a boat ride, a bike ride...play games whatever makes you talk to eachother and bond.