[Klynn_life]

Ok so I'm gonna try to make this short however I know it's gonna be long regardless but I'm trying to include as many important details as possible. I am in need of some serious advice!!
A rundown of our background:
dh and I met online, dated long distance(canada/us) for 5yrs. (lived together for 9 months within there). got married and I moved to canada.
from the begining = after a couple years of dating and after 9 months of living together he had moved back to Canada (to start schooling). shortly after that I had a dream that he was gonna tell me he didn't love me anymore and that it wasn't working. sure enough I called him that morning after the dream...without any mention of my dream...I asked him if there was anything he needed to tell me and he said "I love you but I dont think I'm in love with you anymore...this isn't working". After I repeatedly asked if there was someone else I was told absolutely no. long story short I went to visit him, discovered there was another girl (someone he was always out with but always said they were just friends) (i dont think he had intentions of telling me, i overheard him talking with a friend), and after LOTS of talking he broke things off with her and shortly after we started dating again.
trust - it was destroyed and took years to build that back up.
after some time and a lot of work Things were great...like really great....we got married in october 2004 and i moved to canada and things continued to be great....up until the past year. Things have changed. He works pt and goes to school ft. His days consist of being gone and leave very little time for us. I feel like we have disconnected from one another in a huge way, we rarely have sex because he just doesn't innitiate it and that makes me feel entirely undesired, he doesn't perform oral sex anymore. he doesn't talk to me much about how school is going or anything for that matter. he used to phone me on his lunch just about every day to chat and now he says he doesn't feel like talking on his lunch break. really i feel like he has become more of a roommate some days than my husband.
fast forward to June.
guys night out i agreed to pick all the guys up and drive them home. i texted my husband at 1am asking if i should come now and he sent back a message "come see me now". i thought this was strange....immediately he calls me and is like "um the bar is open till 3 so be here for then". the next morning i check his cell and all the text messages are deleted. VERY STRANGE!
then
during the same time was euro cup? i believe it is....he was spending A LOT of his time watching the games at the pub below his work..after work, even skipping classes a few times. Just watching soccer with some of the guys from work is what I was told.
then
we went to mn for my sisters wedding and I find him texting someone....i ask who...he says just someone from work...i say who....he says nervously just this girl amanda. I ask about what...he says she was just teasing him about the soccer game. i ask if he's been watching soccer with this girl for the past week and he says yes. I walked away.
later i asked him why he never told me about her and he says he just never thought to (he always talks about his friends at work but never once mentioned her and I know what your thinking but I'm not like that...his 3 best friends are girls and I'm good friends with all of them). i asked if she was the one he sent the text "come see me now" to and he said "no he was drunk and didn't know what he was typing". I asked why he deleted all of his messages on his phone that night and he said because he thought it was slowing down his phone.
I flat out told him that I thought it all sounded too suspicous, etc. but he stood firm on that nothing was going on...they were just friends and he felt bad he never told me about her.
I don't know if I'm crazy for thinking the way I do. I have never felt like this in years, like years people. A situation like this happening scares the **** out of me, makes me nervous and paranoid, especially when it happens at a time that our relationship is struggling. I mean for all I know he could be out with another girl and I would just assume he is at school or work.
yesterday I cried off/on all day because i had a bad dream about it. when I picked him up to go to the dr.s office with me he asked why i looked like i was crying and i told him why. we talked about her again and he says there isn't anything going on. he said she doesn't work there anymore, that she doesn't phone him, but yes they do still text each other......and guess what....he has contiued daily to delete his text messages.
I don't know what to do, what to think, am I being irrational, do i need counseling?
please anyone who can share their thoughts on this I would greatly appreciate it because I feel like I & our marriage are holding on by a thread.