[April1976]

I have a 5 year old son who will not use the potty a lot of the time. It is not that he can't use it we found out, it is just that he WON'T use the potty. I have tried the sickers, the special treats and lots of other things, but still the same thing. I am stumped now, and confused about where to go from here. I do not want to be a Mom that people look at and say, that I am a Mother that is not trying to potty train. Please help me out anyone !!!!!

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board, April1976!

Has your 5 yo son been to the doctor to make certain there is not a health issue?

Consistancy on your part is very important.
Get him into a daily routine.

Potty him every 1 hour or 2 hours.

Get up - go to the toilet.
Eat breakfast - go to the toilet.
Play time - go to the toilet.
Before lunch - go to the toilet.
After lunch - go to the toilet.
Play time - go to the toilet.
Snack time - go to the toilet.
TV time - go to the toilet.
Before supper - go to the toilet.
After supper - go to the toilet.
Bath time - go to the toilet.
Story time - go to the toilet.
Bedtime - go to the toilet.
Get him up in the middle of the night - go to the toilet.

Every time he goes do the stickers or other positive reinforcement.
Remind him that to go to school, he needs to go to the toilet.

Are there other adults that can reinforce potty training?
For a boy, sometimes, it is helpful for a man to help.

Dry out the toilet bowl. Paint a red dot with fingernail polish....makes a good place to aim.

A habit takes 3 weeks/21 days to form.

Let us know how things go.

[rida]

I understand, my daughter was a little slow coming along. Whenever an accident happened, we reminded her that she was not listening to her body. The biggest thing that stopped the resistance to go was the embarrassment. A few accidents at school helped her realize it was time to grow up in that department.

Maybe you can get some ideas here:

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Pediatric...-five-year.htm

Good Luck!

[tymee]

I totally know where you ladies are coming from. I have twin stepsons who will be 4 this Friday, and for a year 1 has been fully potty trained for us, the other fully trained for us in the last 4-5 months (well not really at night yet)...our issue wasnt with the boys so much, but that their mom, and their Grandma (whom their mom lives with)...would put them back in pull ups so they didnt have to worry about accidents, even though we told them what schedule we have them on and that it is working...so everytime they were brought over they were in pullups and when we brought them back they were in underware...finally we started talking pre-school...YES big step for the not much involved mom...and printed off information for different pre-schools in our area and all noted that they must be potty trained...still put in pull ups, meaning the kids would have accidents because it was allowed over at their other house. It took my mother in law to say something to their other Grandma before they finally have them in underware, and I am talking 1 1/2 weeks now.
It is really sad when kids live in 2 different environment and their birth parents will not put aside their issues for the sake of their kids they created together. My advise would be is to get together with the mom and the dad and discuss a plan that will work for everyone.
Sorry, sidetracked...anyhow. We sat for hours and hours in the bathroom with one of the boys, and one day we were going to go somewhere FUN, and we made him go and try and go, and 1 1/2 hours later he was still on the toilet and wouldnt go, so I slide a note to my dh under the bathroom door saying I was taking the other twinkie outside to play, and dh told CJ that we were leaving, HE PEED, and ever since he has gone on the potty for us.

My recommendation: Do not use pull-ups, go straight to underware, take a week off to get them in the habit of going, set a routine like mentioned in a previous post, stay consistent, persistant and patient. Train when the weather is warm out so they can run around in their underware and then you wont have to wash so much clothes...take them to pick out their underware...have them watch as you put their last diapers in the trash. Put underware in a place where they can get a clean pair if they have an accident, and make them change into the clean ones.
I wish you all the luck, we went to heck and back with this ordeal!

[rachelsmummy]

We have just managed after a very hard + frustrating struggle, managed to get our 3yr old trained. He would not go on the potty so we got a toilet seat for him and put him straight on the toilet. But he was really lazy and would just pee his pants. We took him shopping for him to buy his favourite character big boy pants. And we put him straight in them for nursery, and used pull ups at bed time. But we used to put him in pull ups if we where going out as it semmed easier than carrying lots of clothes with us. But he would not go the loo as technicly he was wearing nappies. One day i had run out of pull ups and thought sod it i will see what happens. I asked him every 15mins if he needed the toilet. I then made sure i put took him and sat him on the toilet every 30mins. I then took him out to the local shops then to his nans. We went and let him choose some stickers for his sticker chart, and every time we put him on the toilet and he done something we let him choose a sticker. We also had a chart for him staying dry all day. Now he tells us when he needs the loo, and has only had the odd accident ever since that was at the begining, Now when he comes home from nursery and he has the same clothes on we make a big fuss of him, and he tells us he's a big boy and he's not wet. So it's all worth it now. Till we have to start on the night times.