[kvanta]

Hi, my name is Kim. I just found the daughter I put up for adoption almost 25 years ago. Just needing some support from somebody that's been there.

Thanks!!

[mcmama]

I haven't been there, Kim. How emotional this must have been for you! Have you made contact?

[irishgal63]

there ! My name is Lori, I gave up my son(Patrick)
for adoption 18yrs. ago ! I've put some info on the internet,
hoping someone will see it and get in touch with me---if
they know who(or where) my son is !
If ya would like to contact me, my e-mail address is
erin_lassie3@hotmail.com
Patrick's birthmom,in ILL.
Lori Weis

[adoptionblessings]

Hi- Here is a wonderful website for people touched by adoption for resources in Illinois and many resources for adult adoptees and birth parents navigating search for birth family. The website is called White Oak Foundation. It's founder is Melisha Mitchell birth mother and mentor in adoption searches and reunions. The URL is www.whiteoakfoundation.org
Lots of information and helps here and other links to helpful resources.
Jody Moreen, facilitator, Adoptees, Birth Parents & Adoptive Parents Together, a monthly adoption triad support group that meets at Faith Evangelical Covenant Church in Wheaton, IL, a western suburb of Chicago. (3rd Thursdays, 7:00 to 9:00pm )

[HappyMomAnna]

kvanta,
I think it is best to keep things REAL and honest during a reunion. Talk about the expectations you both have and what the terms are for the relationship. Most of the time the hurtful or frustrating reunion stories I hear about involve lack of communication and unrealistic expectations from one or more of the people involved. Since you are the birthmother you can be the one who makes this most possible by not avoiding talking about what you and your daughter want and expect.
Every relationship requires time and respect in order to stand the test and be a strong healthy and happy one. Your daughter is also at an important age for maturity and while in many ways fully adult there are still little moments of immaturity so you can teach your daughter something by trying to keep real up front and clear communication along with respect and honesty.
I have not been reunited myself but I have been personally involved with 3 adult adopted persons reunions including my ex-husband and the father of my oldest children. All of these people had great adoptive parents and one of the things that was most difficult to over come was feeling like they were traitors to their adoptive mothers. I hope that if my adopted children reunite that I will be included in the journey and that their birthmother will not feel threatened by me. I believe that no one actually owns a person so the relationship we have with our adult children is based on more then just the mothering.