[jane13]

New to this but thought I might get some ideas. Within the next few months I will be moving in with my fiance. I have a 10 mo old son from a previous relationship and he has a four yr old daughter. My concern is, well I have many but mostly the fact that he does not have set rules for his daughter and allows the kid to run around crazy.. (like not picking up messes and letting her go to bed at any hour of the night.) Ahh which in return makes me crazy. I love this child dearly! She is truly a sweetheart but how do I get the point across that when we all live together there will be rules?

[stillparentingafteralltheseyears]

Does he have full custody? Will you have his daughter all the time? If yes, then you need to make it clear now before you move in together what the "rules" will be and what degree of compliance you will expect form her and from him.

Blending a family is a very delicate balance. Your bf has his ideas of what is required and you have yours. You both have your own perspectives on parenting. My husband and I have had many dificulties on this issue. He is very laid back for a while and then gets annoyed quickly. I am more rule and compliance oriented and want set bedtimes and other rules followed. We only have his boys every other Sunday and one weekend a month but if we had them all the time, things would be much more structured than they are now.

If this is making you crazy now it will be tenfold once you are living together unless you make your expectations clear form the start. Don't delay, put your cards on the table now, before you move in together.