[iceglade]

Hi. In my case, I'm not the parent, but one of the children. A few months ago, my aunt died. She had a 13-year old daughter. They lived with my grandmother and two unmarried aunts. When my aunt died, my other aunts didn't want my cousin to continue living with them, and so she ended up with us. She's not a bad girl. And what she does is, according to my friends, normal for a 13-year old. But it just gets on my nerve! She hardly talks. When we go out to eat, we ask her what she wants and the most she'll do is whisper something inaudible. Most of the time, though, she'll just shrug.

Then at home, she's in front of the computer all day, waiting for her friends to post on her friendster account. And she squeals when her male classmates post. And when she talks, it's all about boys and backstabbing girls who "think the guys like them but the guys actually don't." There was also one time when one of her female schoolmates talked to a boy she had a crush on, and she wanted to write a hate blog about the girl, just because she talked to him! I know it's normal teenage behavior, and I should cut her some slack because her mother just died. But I'm just not used to it. My sisters and I are readers, and my brother is into logic games and puzzles. The usual conversations you'd hear at home would be about stories, authors, or numbers. Like I said, she's not bad. But we're dungeons and dragons, and she's gossip girl.

Then just last week, my other cousin got into a fight with her mother and decided to stay with us for a while. Then she decides to move in with us and stay with us until her wedding in August. Now, this cousin is a sweet girl. But she tends to be a bit selfish, and most of the time she doesn't realize it. She's the type who is reluctant to use her credit card online...and so she'll use somebody else's instead. Suddenly, she's sleeping in my bed, and I get demoted to the floor. That's usually the setup when she sleeps over. She's the guest so she gets the bed. But now it's a semi-permanent arrangement! And I haven't got the heart to take back my bed when she's the one in a crisis right now.

So now I have two new 'sisters' in the house. And while I know I should be nice to them and make them feel welcome in our home, I can't help feel my family has been...invaded. And that's probably why petty little things like the things I wrote above just irritates me so much. I do my best to be nice to them. But every now and then, a cutting remark escapes my mouth. I really don't want them to feel unwelcome. But I just can't help feel this way. And it doesn't help when my mom introduces my 13-year old cousin as her new 'daughter.' What must I do?

[ahermitt]

I don't know how old you are but I know it sucks to suddenly have your life invaded by people who are generally unhappy.

You need to first talk to your parents about finding someplace for your cousin to sleep so you can get off the floor. Tell them you are having body aches and really want your bed back.

Also, as long as she isn't taking over your computer, ignore the bad behavior and do your own thing. Eventually she will figure out that you are not going to entertain toxic behavior.

Best of luck.