[jd1331]

We have just adopted our first child, a healthy cutie-pie baby boy, who will be one month old on the 24th. As I adopted and did not give birth I was not eligible for the paid leave that other moms get so I had to return to work much sooner then planned. I am very lucky that I have a sister who comes to my house to watch my little man so I don't have to bring him to a daycare yet.
I'm back at work at a job that I love, but all day long all I can think about is how my son is doing at home. Does this get better? Is it just a combination of sleep deprivation and anxiety of being away from my new baby? Or will the guilt at being away from him be with me forever?

[mcmama]

I thought that family leave was for the birth or adoption of a child, hospitalization of a family member, caregiving, etc. It seems discriminatory to not get the same leave as someone giving birth. Look into it.

What you are feeling is very normal, especially given the sleep deprivation. One way you manage the guilt is to realize that what you are doing is actually taking care of your baby by providing a good livlihood. Another way to get past it is to form a solid partnership with the person caring for your child, check in during the day, etc.

[Samual]

Yes do what mcmama said, having a biological child or an adopted child get the same leave.

[purelegance]

yep it's normal! it will pass, but right now this is a highly exciting (and tiring) time of your life. you don't want to miss a thing! welcome to motherhood.

you should qualify for fmla. taken from US dept of Labor :

Family and Medical Leave Act
Overview
Covered employers must grant an eligible employee up to a total of 12 workweeks of unpaid leave during any 12-month period for one or more of the following reasons:

• for the birth and care of the newborn child of the employee;
• for placement with the employee of a son or daughter for adoption or foster care;
• to care for an immediate family member (spouse, child, or parent) with a serious health condition; or
• to take medical leave when the employee is unable to work because of a serious health condition.

http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/

[QueenAngie]

New mommies are tired and do miss their babies when they return to work.

I am also thinking that you qualify for FMLA in the USA.
You need to complete the paperwork and take time
off with your little sweetie.

You and DH are truly blessed to have him as an addition to your family!

[jd1331]

Thank you for the replies ladies! I do qualify for FMLA, but the paid maternity leave (covered by short term disability) is what I don't get. I could have stayed out longer without pay. I am truly blessed to have my sister watch him. She comes to my house so that he is in his environment. I'm glad to know that the guilt will pass, it just makes coming here to work so much harder knowing that I had to leave him at home.

[chio88]

It's pretty normal to feel guilty. It will pass though. At least he's being cared of by your sister. Look at it this way...at least you'll have to time miss him and as a result you'll have a quality time ones you get home. don't worry much.