[arrowgirl]

I've been married for 10 1/2 years now, known him for 20 and seperated for 3 days. There is of course a whole slew of problems here, but what I'm wondering IS... If I'm not attracted to him anymore and I know I'm not a lesbian and he hasn't really changed physicaly since we've gotten married...WHAT the heck is wrong with me!? I've read some old posts about people not bieng attracted to thier husbands anymore b/c they have let themselves go...but really, my husband can still pass for a young 20-something. I mean sure, he's a bit out of shape, but not enough to justify the tottal discust that I seem to have for him. I enjoy bieng around him. He's my best friend...but the thought of bieng physically intament with him makes my skin crawl. Could this have anything to do with my trust issues and how I felt betrayed by him 3 years ago? Can I EVER feel attracted to him again? Could it be because mabey I think he's "ugly" on the inside and that turns him "ugly" on the outside? Man..I'm a nut case..

[Das]

If we have a resentment against a man,I think most women are then turned off their man & find it hard to want to be close.No matter how great they look or how much in love you are.Just my opinion.Ugly on the inside,affects me towards the man-so I'm talking from experience.

[Indecisive]

Arrowgirl, I'm intrigued by what you are saying about being disgusted by your husband, even though he's not ugly or overweight.
For sometime I've felt that my wife is totally repulsed by me. We have had sex only twice in about 2.5 years and one of those times resulted in the conception of my son.
I'm really confused because in the last few years I've lost about 60lbs (27kg) and am fit and toned. Plenty of women in the street and at work check me out.
She has never once complimented me on my body.
Could it be that she finds me ugly on the inside?
I don't know why: we never fight; I do lots around the house; I love looking after my son; I compliment her where I can.
I feel we are almost at breaking point and it's accelerating really quickly.

[Das]

I'm sorry your partner hasn't complimented you on your
weight loss/body improvement.She could have at least
told you that you're doing great & keep it up.
You've taken a step to be healthier & live longer.Good
on you.
Das

[deanac24]

That is too bad that your partner doesnt find you attractive. You have taken great steps to keep yourself fit and lose the weight but still nothing has changed. Maybe marriage counseling would help?

[MiaCamille]

Do you still love him?

[mummyme]

Originally Posted by Indecisive

Arrowgirl, I'm intrigued by what you are saying about being disgusted by your husband, even though he's not ugly or overweight.
For sometime I've felt that my wife is totally repulsed by me. We have had sex only twice in about 2.5 years and one of those times resulted in the conception of my son.
I'm really confused because in the last few years I've lost about 60lbs (27kg) and am fit and toned. Plenty of women in the street and at work check me out.
She has never once complimented me on my body.
Could it be that she finds me ugly on the inside?
I don't know why: we never fight; I do lots around the house; I love looking after my son; I compliment her where I can.
I feel we are almost at breaking point and it's accelerating really quickly.

maybe you're not being honest to her. As her life partner you should be totally raw with her and show your true emotions. By giving her all the power you are basically acting as the woman of the relationship. Be a man and show some charm

[mummyme]

talk to him about it...tell him to change or something...

[Jocelynbell]

Could be you want to feel attractive and wooed in a way. A rel'p becomes just that without any passion. You should see a good counsellor.