[Celtic231]

Hi! I want to begin by saying I'm new. I joined this forum because my daughter is being bullied and harassed by a child with ODD. The mother is in complete denial and spoils this child rotten. The child,I will call her M, is a nightmare to have in a classroom.In the past week she has bitten my daughter and 2 other children. She is 8 yrs old!!! THe constant temper tantrums, and agressive behaviors are ignored by teachers. M's Mom is the President of the PTA, heads up a Daisy troop and a Brownie troop. The Mom is never home and M and her sister are left with sitters. Today I had a meeting with the principal and requested that my child be moved to another 3rd grade class. The principal said she would "think about it"!
Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation? Why are other parents reluctant to report this child?
Thanks for allowing me to vent too!

[mommy2067]

First of all welcome to families!!! I am sorry to hear about the situation that your dd finds herself in...It is very unfortunate that the parent of this child doesn't want to acknowledge what is going on...Has her child been officially diagnosed with ODD? I would stay on top of things for your dd's sake.. I know you said you have spoken to the principal but have you also spoken with the classroom teacher? Does this other child have any educational support within the classroom? If you haven't already I would start documenting any and all of these instances. If the child has left any marks on your dd take some pics too...Children with ODD are very difficult to teach/get along with...not impossible necessarily but very difficult...Encourage your dd for her own safety to do her best to stay out reach of this child...HTH a little anyway...I hope the situation settles down and/or you get some more positive responses from the powers that be!!!

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board!

So sorry that your daughter is on the receiving end of this little 8 yo.

Every school has printed rules and policies about student behavior.
Get the policy book and start reviewing where these abuses fall
under which guidelines.

Document as Heather noted above.

Keep a log or diary of who you spoke with and when.

Talk to the teacher and document this.

I'd also be a classroom volunteer in this classroom a couple of hours
a week to get a view for myself what was going on. Teachers always appreciate a parent who volunteers to help.

Talk again to the principal with the policy book and evidence in hand.

If this does not get you any satisfaction, then go to the school board.
You could talk directly to a couple of members you know ahead of time.
There are bully policies and physical abuse policies in every school in the USA.

Last resort would be a lawyer.

No child should be physically abused in school....even if the mother is the head of the PTA or not.

((Hugs))

Let us know how this goes.

[mcmama]

Have your attorney contact the school to set up a meeting with you, the principal, and M's mama. Sometimes legal action is all these morons listen to. You may need to pursue this in the courts, or be ready to.

I guarantee the meeting will never take place and the principal will comply with your request without giving it a second thought. And none of you will ever set foot in a courtroom.

Children who bite at age 8 have serious rage and impulse control problems. Does this child have facial tics? I have known two school age kids with tourettes who could not stop from biting or pinching or grabbing arms and twisting. It is something they really have to learn to control, with behavior modification and structure and medications. Very difficult. Tourettes sufferers often have involuntary facial movements, or they squint for no reason, or close their eyes tight and open them.

[MiaCamille]

Welcome to Families, this is so wrong what's going on and i hope you will fight for you dd's right to be moved into another class, kids don't need to that school is hard enough.
Good point mcmama with the Tourette it might just be..Good luck!

[Celtic231]

Thank you all for the advice. I have been documenting. I have pics from an incident when M held DD under water by the neck and tried to drown her. M's Mom told my dd to stop being a tattle tale. The pics show bruises the next day. This is a very small town. M's Dad has a huge trust fund. which Mom will trying to drain ..with a vengence. M's Mom ,'K' has an abnormal need for acknowldgement. "her work" as she calls it consumes her..PTA, girl scouts, Social sorority, Jr. League, she goes to every school bd mtg, evey School advisory committee (SAC) mtg I have no idea when she's home. Biting at this age is not just a cry , but a scream for attention. M has been diagnosed with an "emotional handicap" EH kids are are classic ODD. K told me ( when we were on speaking terms) that M has sociopathic tendencies . At other schools M would not even be in a regular classroom. She doesn't display any Tourettes but she is a toe walker. She was a delayed walker, talker and potty trainer. Today , I asked the principal to please move her by the end of the week and will be putting her at the Montessori school. We don't have many choices in schools. I live in the upper Florida Keys, essentially the middle of nowhere.
I know and have witnessed many other children being victims of M's brutality . What is ASTONISHING to me is that no one else says anything about it!WHY?
Hopefully things will be better by next week.
C

[mcmama]

If you are in the upper keys, you might be in the middle of nowhere, but big money is not uncommon. So I understand why you don't want to go the legal route - she will bully you that way as well.

My son was bullied out of public school, and our choices were to fight it legally (our limited resources against the state of NJ unlimited resources and corruption) or to put him in private school. Spending the money on private school was the best deal for him, and for us - and the school district got away with bullying again. That was 15 years ago, and now they have an "anti bullying" curriculum, and don't understand why the violence problem has gotten out of control.

Since mom is such an attention "ho", if you go to the Montessori, you might want to not be so quiet and discreet about it. After all, if your daughter is a tattle tale, it should be no surprise. Don't make this about mom the president of all gadfly society, make it about the injustice of poor you HAVING to pay private school tuition because your daughter is not safe from this monster and no one cares. Apparently in the state of florida, this is considered a thorough and efficient education, and meets minimal requirements, that your daughter is in fear from a bully who has not been appropriately placed in class. Ride that rail to the county and state authorities. A free public education is not available to you because this child savagely assaults your daughter regularly and the district does nothing to keep her safe.

You will likely find as I did, that private schools are not only safer, but actually more racially and ethnically diverse, and work to eliminate bullying on a systematic and ongoing basis. I found that it wasn;t just that there was the "right" sort of student there - there were quite a few problem children but the school took ongoing action to correct problems and communicate with parents - and build school community. You may well also find that you are in better adult company, as you will be with parents who ask a lot of questions, have higher expectations, and generally are more involved without the big ego trips.

When people pay tuition, they don't put up with this self serving garbage at public expense.

[Alexandra1973]

I wouldn't say so much ODD as Spoiled Brat Syndrome! :P