[56kar78]

I became aware yesterday that my son had an account on Myspace.com (without our permission)so I got his user name and password and logged on. The site was filled with pictures, videos, surveys and a whole lot more. As I clicked on the related sites of my son's friends, I saw that pornographic sites have the abilility to enter kids' sites under the guise of being a friend and that website redirects to a webcam or some pictures of and videos of "live teens".

I've have known about the danger of myspace if we all especially our kids and teens, not be careful of it. (edited link) The most important is talk to your teens, explain to them the extent that what might could happen to them and guide them not to make such wrong decisions and give them constant reminders.

[Alejandros Mommy]

I have a My Space....I have it private but still...I can understand your concern...I get a whole lot of requests from the oddest of people...I made the mistake of sending the 1st "stranger" a "nice PM" that I had myspace private to protect my childrens identity and privacy..I will never make that mistake again...I got a nasty e-amil back from that person and had to "ban" them from e-mailing me.
I'm an adult...just imagine how a child would be steered into the wrong direction....I feel that if your child is open...the site is private to people YOU know...and you have control over what pics he has on there...it may keep him from keeping it from you.

Thank you for the info

[kimchee67]

I understand your problems with Myspace, but at the same time I think that Myspace has been a scapegoat for a lot problems. There are ways to set the profile to private, so that no one can see or contact your son unless they know his last name/email address. I think it is good that you are being proactive about your son's site. Since the internet has become popular, there have been so much more for parents to worry about. People that were once unable to contact your children now have easy access. I think it is important for a parent to speak to their child about their site and then to monitor it. It isn't really the fault of Myspace. Your child can get on the internet and access pornography and other adult content oriented sites without the aid of Myspace if you do not have adequate parental controls or adequate supervision. I think it is great that you are aware of what he has been doing on there and are monitoring it. Myspace can be used in a positive way, it's just the negatives that make better stories. FYI, if you want, you can create your own private profile so that you can keep tabs on your son. You can find out who he has as friends, who he comments on, who comments on him, what bulletins he sends out, what pictures he puts up, etc. It sounds like you are on the right track.

[twinzplus3]

We will not allow computers to be used in our house inside bedrooms. I guess the layout of our apartment makes it easier to monitor but there are two computers. . a laptop for the dining room and a computer for the living room. My kids are not allowed on spaces like myspace for exactly this reason. It is a scary world.

[MissyChrissy]

Originally Posted by twinzplus3

We will not allow computers to be used in our house inside bedrooms. I guess the layout of our apartment makes it easier to monitor but there are two computers. . a laptop for the dining room and a computer for the living room. My kids are not allowed on spaces like myspace for exactly this reason. It is a scary world.

I TOTALLY agree with this. My kids are not allowed on MySpace at all. We have a desktop in the dining room that everyone has a username on, and a laptop that I primarily use for my schoolwork.

I'm a computer science major-and I can tell you that MySpace is NOT a place for children...there is NO WAY to make it 100% safe, and it's the SAME as letting strangers talk to your kids if you allow them to have a MySPace account. Worse yet-if they have a computer in their bedroom-you're allowing strangers in their bedroom too.

No one could love computers more than I do. I know the doors it's opened, the conveniences it's created...but it's not a toy, and should never be treated like one. I also know that a hacker only needs a couple hours of boredom to get into wherever he/she wants to go. Passwords & firewalls only slow them down-it doesn't stop them.

[mcmama]

I had to take the link out of the ops post because it links to another social networking site with a forum.

This is a valuable discussion here - how do you limit the kids time and exposure on the internet in general? My teen knows that I check the cache, the searches, and so on. I really doubt that he has a myspace, since he has no time and limited computer access. I have seen stuff he has done internally on the school's webserver, and it's pretty neat!

[MissyChrissy]

My girls are only allowed on for about 20 minutes a day, and I'm a frequent visitor while they're online. I take an interest in what they're researching...I know there have been times when we've gotten into things together & the allowed time has gone beyond an hour-but that's only when they have my permission-and I'm right here.

The computer is a privilege only. I don't care what anyone else does on their house-that is never an argument that'll make an impact on me. I talk to my daughter's friend's parents too. If they have a computer, I ask specifically where it is. I wouldn't let my daughter sleep over at someone's house that kept a loaded gun in their kid's room, and it's the same with computers.

The computer is used for an educational tool only. They email friends and family that they know. They're allowed on Disney's website without asking me first. No quizzes or any of that other nonsense teens get into. They do get into the music sites...my oldest likes to research her favorite bands. I think it's a waste of her 20 minutes-but that's her choice.

Their 20 minute limit doesn't include school work. If they have to be online for school, they get extra time, but again I have to know about it, and I'm right here. Most times I'm cooking dinner anyway, and have a direct line-of-sight to the monitor. When I hear "bling" from Yahoo, I'm asking, "who's that?"

I'm probably obsessive. But then again-I know what goes on behind the scenes too. You cannot be too careful.

[PamalaLauren]

It's good to be obsessive. I mean anyone watch To Catch a Predator? I mean those men meet up with young children who obviously aren't supervised while online. I don't plan on putting a TV in Kaylee's room yet alone a computer. She can go online and email but I'm monitor everything. When she becomes a teenager I might stop reading her email (unlikely). If she wants a site like myspace or something like that, I'll just help her create one on our server. I mean she technically already has one.

Myspace has some sick people on it. I get friends requests all the time. I don't understand it.

[mcmama]

There's something about those chat rooms on Dateline where the men lose the sense of the reality of what they are doing, and go into a very sick fantasy world. Not that it's an excuse - but someone with problems in that area is going to lose sight that they are talking to a real kid - its another fantasy.

We have the opposite problem on this site - people know how vigilant we are, and feel safe, including teens. No one is really safe on the internet. Never post your email or personally identifiable information (unless of course, you are the forum manager and everybody knows your name anyway...) If you feel uncomfortable with private messages you receive, please report them, or let me know.

I ban about 10 to 15 people a day who are up to no good. Usually it is spam, but often it is just plain weirdness!

[livingLESSlarge]

My 8th grade daughter is on Myspace, but her page is set to private as are her friends. They can talk with one another, but strangers are not welcome, including kids from school they barely know. I monitor my daughter's page frequently and monitor all three of my children (who are still at home). My oldest dau. is 21, has a page on Myspace and is using it to network for her "vintage hairstyling" business. There is a way to stay safe online. So far, it has been fine for our family.