[Momof2kids]

Just returned from parent teacher conference with my kids teachers and grades are well but DS (age 9) attitude isn't good. How do I change this? The teachers tell me that he acts like he is "older" and just does what he has to. "Mr. Minimum" He's sometimes "short" and almost has a heir about himself. Also, my DH has said it is because we do not have a "group" of friends for him to play with, we do single one on one playdates but "groups" we just don't have. DH says to join park district programs to help him understand the "group" thing. Is this possible that it is because his life is mostly adults. We work as a team but obviously "adult type levels". I almost feel that he needs to be sent back down to "his level of age 9" Does anyone else feel this way or am I crazy?

[purelegance]

i never hung around/played with groups of kids my age until i was about 13. i don't think there's anything wrong with acting older. i'm surprised you had a meeting about this, when i taught i don't believe i ever heard a teacher complain of a child acting older". if he's just doing the minimum it's probably either - bored with the work and it's coming easy for him, or he's struggling and just does what he has to in order to get by. goodluck

[beth]

Originally Posted by Momof2kids

Just returned from parent teacher conference with my kids teachers and grades are well but DS (age 9) attitude isn't good. How do I change this? The teachers tell me that he acts like he is "older" and just does what he has to. "Mr. Minimum" He's sometimes "short" and almost has a heir about himself. Also, my DH has said it is because we do not have a "group" of friends for him to play with, we do single one on one playdates but "groups" we just don't have. DH says to join park district programs to help him understand the "group" thing. Is this possible that it is because his life is mostly adults. We work as a team but obviously "adult type levels". I almost feel that he needs to be sent back down to "his level of age 9" Does anyone else feel this way or am I crazy?

Children who interact mostly with adults can be more mature than their peers in terms of language, conversational and organizational skills. Your son may feel superior to his peers, or alternatively, he may feel that he doesn't fit in. Do you think he is happy at school? You could try discussing what the teacher said about him being "short" and ask him for feedback to get an idea of whether he needs further stimulation outside of school or help in getting along better with his classmates and teacher.

[Samual]

Only children tend to act more adult, as for most of their life that is how they have grown up, to act like a child often doesn't come natural to them. But it is odd for children with siblings to have the 'adult complex', he may just give the attitude because he thinks it's all big and clever.

[Momof2kids]

My DS is very happy at school and does love it. The "group" thing is just not him. We did discuss this as a family and he did agree to set new goals for himself. He does feel "big and clever" I just need to find a way to pick him and his head back into his body/age of 9. I am planning on checking with his teachers every 2 weeks to see if things have changed, mostly because we only have about 7 more weeks to go until the end of school. My DS was not happy with that, but maybe with that over his head, he will be more aware of his behavior and "shortness".
Thanks for the advice.