[redpyro]

It's not fair. My mom is a nurse who works the evening shift 3-11 pm. My dad is an electrician who works morning 6 am -5 pm. And i'm stuck taking care of my little brother who is now 7 years old. I make sure he does he homework, teach him, feed him, bathe him, change his clothes, everything! Like he's my own son. My parents say they know that i'm responsible, and I grew up to be one. But now they're putting their responsibilities as a parent on me! I stayed away from sex for one reason, no children. I dont want one, i'm not ready for one, i'm 20 years old!! If my parents had the same jobs, and the same hours when I was growing up, why cant they do the same thing for him. I know I should be grateful for my parents in every way possible and the least I could do is take care of my own brother, but honestly... I cant even live my own life. I cant even concentrate on college. I cant even go out with friends. I cant even watch tv without having to hear my little brother complaining to me! And I can't even tell all this to my parents. I can't tell them how I feel...because my older sister has broked my parents hearts. She didnt finish college, got married, and moved out of the house during the age of 21. I'm just saying, this is a lot of burden on my shoulders. I just want to rant, to cry, to tell people i'm hurting! I can't even tell how I feel to my boyfriend because he doesn't understand. I don't know. I just wanted to be heard. Just wanted to share how I feel....maybe, I dont know, hear that someone else has the same experience? No...I wouldn't want anybody else to go through this, it's terrible. No, not terrible, i'm just upset right now, so that's causing my negative thinking. I should be grateful for my little brother...I should...I should...

[twinzplus3]

That's always rough. But I think you need to talk to your parents. As a mom, I would be deeply concerned about my child if she couldn't concentrate on college bc of something I was doing. (Not that I wouldn't be concerned about the other feelings you expressed, but the college issue would get my attention pretty fast.)

[MissyChrissy]

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I agree, you really do need to talk to your parents. Maybe they don't realize how much pressure they've put on you...or, because you haven't complained, they don't know how much stress you're really under.

Is living in a dorm next semester an option? I'm just thinking-if you weren't there, they wouldn't be able to count on you as much.

Again-talk to your parents. Saying "no" to watching your little brother is NOT an indication that you don't love him, or that you're rejecting him. You have a right to your own life right now-after all, you are an adult. It sounds like you're very responsible-you deserve to have some fun in life before you settle down yourself & have your own kids. That doesn't mean you won't ever watch your little brother, or hang out with him. There has to be a "happy medium" in there somewhere. See if you can't figure something out with your mom & dad.

(((HUGS)))

[angelofmine98661]

I agree you really need to talk to your parents. You should have a life of your own and you shouldn't feel pressured into watching your little brother or telling your parents your feelings just because your sister hurt them. You are a totally different person and it does sound like your really responsible and maybe because you have said nothing they dont realize they may be taking a little advantage of you because you are always there that have come to expect this of you .

[mollymae]

I agree with all the advice already given. Can I ask what their childcare arrangement were for you when you were growing up and why they can't do this for you brother?

[pattiewrites]

I guess I need some more information to form an opinion. Are you watching him all the time, or just from after school until your dad gets off at 5? That's only a couple of hours and wouldn't be so bad. Are you working? If so, maybe you can talk to your parents. Tell them between a full time college schedule and a job, babysitting is too much. Are your parents paying all your living expenses and college? If they are and you don't have a job, I don't think some babysitting is too much to ask in return.
As far as bathing and changing him, he should be able to do those things for himself at that age. I would recommend someone (maybe dad?) teach him. I have children this age and they are perfectly capable of showering and dressing themselves. They wouldn't let anyone help!

[auntdes]

I know exactly what you are going through. My parents worked differant shift as I was growing but somehow I still ended taking care of my twin brothers who are only four years younger than me. You need to talk to your parents and come to a resolution. It is not fair of them to leave all this responsiblity on you.

[GGPa]

Welcome to the real world. (Defined as what happens to you while you're waiting for your dreams to come true.)

Your whole life will be filled by these "interruptions" that get in the way of your plans. Expect that they will occur and take comfort that they will be temporary.

As for your current situation: somewhere between giving up your life on one hand and moving out of the house on the other, is a middle ground where no one is completely happy. That's your goal.

Talk to your parents and explain rationally that this is a problem that needs solved. Set a goal. Create a timeline. Accept no guilt. Place no blame. It's simply another of life's problems that you need their help with.

--GGPa

[1001001SOS]

If you live at home and your parents are paying your rent and your bills, why SHOULDN'T you help out with your brother? It sounds like you're jealous that he doesn't have a life as hard as yours was.

[Firespice]

Well my parents paid my rent for collage, and my tuition. They told me that they wanted me to put ALL my effort into college, as that it is the best way to become financially stable for the rest of my life. I did have a few jobs but only as long as they either helped my career OR didn't interfere with my grades. I know its rare for parents to think that way - but it really worked and i suggest more parents try it, if they can afford it.

I think you should talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. They chose to have this child and they should not depend on you to do there job. Its there job to teach him, not yours. As a big sister you should be setting an example by doing well in collage, act like a responsible adult in your social life and help out others when possible.

I have a friend who had no social life because she was stuck at home watching her younger siblings. Because she was so desperate to get away - she mad some rash decisions that have turned out to be TERRIBLE in the long run.

Now if your parents did it before they can do it again. that was 15 years ago for you - hopefully they now make enough money for day care, if they choose not to stay home with there kid.

You do need to help your parents - but you need to live your life. Just make sure family is in your life - so be respectful when you talk to them and they are more likely to listen. But if all else fails - try moving into a dorm. Collage is very hard and you NEED to focus and finish, for you.

good luck

suzie