[WordsAplenty]

As many of you know, Islam allows men to have multiple wives, under certain conditions. Although it is rarely practice today, it is still "on the books."
What do y'all think of that? Women, could you ever "share" your husband? Men, would you want more than one wife? My hubby says one wife is enough trouble, why would he want more?!!

[Barb09]

I couldn't deal with it and hate the thought of it. It is a major problem I have with Islam. Not that it is a problem breathing down my neck, but knowing people and men and women as well as I think I do....I can't imagine ANY woman happy to know her husband is in another womans bed tonight.

Luckily, a man is NOT allowed a second wife if the first doesn't agree....that isn't going to be happening in my lifetime.

[QueenAngie]

Perhaps in some countries this is an acceptable practice, but in the USA it isn't legal.
Personally thinking, most men have trouble keeping just one wife happy.

[twinzplus3]

No way can my husband have any more wives! I don't know if he'd want more wives, but I know he couldn't handle all the children it would produce!

[Barb09]

It is haram for a man to have more wives than he can afford to keep appropriately. So, the children that would result is a consideration.

It was explained to me this way....in times of war, for example. When THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of men are killed leaving large surplus of marriage aged women. The choices would be for a large population of women to be uncared for (unsupported) or to allow the men left to care for and support upto 4 (as he can afford to). It is better for the society as a whole for the women to have husbands and children with fathers that recognize them as their children than not.

BTW, ever wonder why men are allowed polygamy and not women?

That was explained to me this way...

In a polygamist marriage with mutiple wives...you KNOW the parentage of all the children. In the polygamist marriage with multiple husbands, the parentage of all the children would be in question and the children wouldn't receive the same love from fathers that "might" be the father.

[WordsAplenty]

Yes, Barb, that's how I understand it, too. That wartimes leave many women and children unsupported and that makes polygamy allowed. I hate to hear people who think this just gives men license to have multiple sex partners. That's not the purpose at all! I can't imagine a real need for it today. There is no shortage of men and today's women are in a better position to care for themselves.

Personally, I would never consent to this. If my husband ever wanted another wife, he would just have to divorce me first! No matter what people say, it is not in a woman's nature to happily "share" her husband. And I don't think a man can possibly be truly fair. As far as that goes, I actually believe that, while allowed, Islam actually discourages polgamy. I will have to dig up the verses and the hadiths, I don't have the exact wording right now, but it says something to the effect that a man should only have multiple wives if he can be fair, "and you will never be fair." Doesn't that really say don't do it? And what about the hadiths saying that a man who was unfair w/ his wives in life will be divided into pieces on the day of judgement? To me, polygamy is discouraged in Koran and hadith.

As for it being illegal, I have heard that people here in America have found legal ways around that. I'll have to look that up, too.

[Barb09]

Here is my problem....as my husband becomes more and more and more religious. He discusses with me that in addition to the Koran he is taught to mimic the life of the Prophet (PBUH) and do things the way the Prophet (PBUH) did them. To quote my husband "it is like extra credit points" to live and mimic the Prophet (PBUH).

The Prophet(PBUH) had 4 wives.....I am NOT interested in my husband one day deciding he will get extra credit points by supporting and caring for more women. I would divorce first.

[WordsAplenty]

Originally Posted by Barb09

The Prophet(PBUH) had 4 wives.....I am NOT interested in my husband one day deciding he will get extra credit points by supporting and caring for more women. I would divorce first.

The Prophet (PBUH) had more than 4!!! I've always heard that those marriages were to be used as examples of the way a Muslim husband should treat his wife and the fact that men can marry non-Muslims. Of course, following the Sunnah is important in many ways, but there is no way for a modern way to (legally) imitate the Prophet (PBUH) in this. Just look to his marriage to Aisha for more on that...

Has your hubby ever mentioned the possibility?

[Barb09]

Honestly, no. But there are many many things in our life now that he never mentioned would be too.

[aarutt]

I think I am all for it... this polygamy thing. Share the resposibilities.. Someone else to clean, cook, do the deed... doesn't really sound all that bad. I joke about it alot. My boyfriend of 7 years is a born Muslim, but he is monogamous. Remember years ago being at my friends house and we wer laying in her bed watching movies, and we kept saying to her boyfriend things like Bob, can you get me a glass of water? Bob can you make us some toast? And then I was like Bob, so this is what it's like ...that fantasy of having two women in your bed. It was funny. I imagine I probably would not want to be one of multiple wives, but I do have some understanding/appreciation of what some of the positives would be. Another thing that struck me as strange was that if your husband dies, you can/should marry his brother. It seemed "sacreligious" when I first heard it, but at times it seems like it could make sense. I am Jewish, I often wold ask my bf in the beiginning why this? Why that? and then i learned that many customs are the same in Judiaism as well.