[hifz88]

Originally Posted by aarutt

I think I am all for it... this polygamy thing. Share the resposibilities.. Someone else to clean, cook, do the deed... doesn't really sound all that bad. I joke about it alot. My boyfriend of 7 years is a born Muslim, but he is monogamous. Remember years ago being at my friends house and we wer laying in her bed watching movies, and we kept saying to her boyfriend things like Bob, can you get me a glass of water? Bob can you make us some toast? And then I was like Bob, so this is what it's like ...that fantasy of having two women in your bed. It was funny. I imagine I probably would not want to be one of multiple wives, but I do have some understanding/appreciation of what some of the positives would be. Another thing that struck me as strange was that if your husband dies, you can/should marry his brother. It seemed "sacreligious" when I first heard it, but at times it seems like it could make sense. I am Jewish, I often wold ask my bf in the beiginning why this? Why that? and then i learned that many customs are the same in Judiaism as well.

well first of all youve got the whole thing wrong.in islam it is forbiddento marry the sister of your wife or your husband but it is permissible after the husband passes away.no one can force a woman to marry.theres a whole lot of diff bwn it being obligatory and permissible.hope ive cleared this issue for you

[ummsamir]

As salaamu alaykum sisters,
Wow, this can be a sensitive topic. Plainly, we cannot deny our husband's what is Halal. Not only is it halal, it is a Sunnah. As we all know, Sunnahs are highly reccommended but not required.
Each husband has the right to make the decision any way he choses. I personally believe it would be a great, great test for me as a Muslimah. I really don't know if I would stay or go. But I know that I could not deny him that right as Allah has granted him this right.
As mentioned before, as long as he meets the requirements and responsibilites of the marriage, Allahu Alim you never know - it could work out well! And before I say any more about what men should and shouldn't do, how they should be, we should also remember that we as women do not have the patience level of the umm al-Mu'mineen and therefore no matter what requirements he does or does not fulfill, it will be very difficult on us because of that.
Allahu Alim. Tough, tough subject!

[suffer_deeply]

In our lives, we suffer a lot.. We walk through on several trials, that causes us to give up. Sometimes we think life is so unfair because of the hindrance we've been through. We struggle a lot to survive, but when things went wrong and everything is gone, we find someone to blame on and ask "why me?"..But things are just not constant, things may come and go, if not today, tommorrow, or never. But we need to value things that comes along our way, looking back the past may serve as our guidance to a new and better path forward..

“Every problem has a gift inside. We seek problems because we want their gifts.”

goto to the SEO and Search Thank God I Was a Polygamist's Wife... full of inspirational story about experiece been a relation unto polygamist....this is a true to life story.. based on the patient...

[alwaysthinking]

Originally Posted by WordsAplenty

I think it's safe to say that almost ALL of us feel that way. Although many Muslims will undoubtedly criticize me for this, I think polygamy just takes away so much from the very idea of marriage. Marriage, to me, is a sacred relationship, the type that just can't be shared with more than one person.

I can see many instances in distant history where polygamy was the only way many women could find a spouse. Without polygamy back then, many children would have no father-figure. Those conditions do not exist today.

As for some men who can't be satisfied with only one woman, I think that is a cop-out and an excuse for having multiple partners. Marriage is about much more than sex. And, for the record, I don't think that was the intention of polygamy at all. I also don't think a woman would be justified in getting a divorce just because she no longer finds her husband attractive. I think that would be terrible! Divorce, in Islam, must be for very sound reasons. You can't just destroy a family because your husband isn't looking good! Commitment should be much deeper than that!

I do think a mans prospective can help sometimes. I am a student of Cultural Anthropology and that is how I stumbled on this topic. I am not looking for trouble however just as the non Muslims have no clue of the dynamics that play into the psyche of a Muslim I would submit that a woman should not be suggesting how a man can or can not do or feel something. To profess that a man would be interested in polygyny, only to satisfy a lust, is short sided. I was married to a woman for 26 years who always told me she wished she had someone to take her place in bed sometimes, because I was very active, she was not. It is a man's form of expression for love, the deep mushy love that women express by devotion, selfless service, and a warm hug at the end of a long day. The message is the same the language is different. Back to the point, a man is very capable of truly loving more than one person, as a woman is able to love all her children. All men do not desire to do this, however it is very possible to attain. Secondly a man's drive is much stronger than a woman's, his sexual tension is often at the root of many non related disputes. A man is hard wired this way, it is not something that he nurtures through pornography, or constant lustful thinking, just as a woman is simply not that way. The two are just different. That is why I can be open to understanding why a woman has such disdain for any man marrying more than one woman. You should be the center of his life and he should be able to only think of you, and if he does and chooses not to ever have another relationship besides the one he has with you, it is because he can not imagine anything better than what he has already, and he will be completely satisfied, mentally, emotionally, socially, and yes sexually, and I am sure you will be feeling the same for him.
I have been remarried and the difference is night and day. I didn't ever want to be divorced, family and my relationship was everything to me. I will admit however that because I was not content my thoughts wondered at times. I never acted upon those thoughts however. I will also tell you that my relationship with my wife is heaven, I couldn't imagine loving anyone else, sexually or otherwise.
If you are so upset about this polygyny maybe it is because you are not so confident in your relationship as I would hope my wife is with hers. Work on that and those feelings, that men are just interested in sex, will leave because you will know that there is non other for him than you.

[waqyum]

It is mostly practised in Arab countries.