[Adara]

Hi there, I have got 2 big problems. Ds needs to get out of his diapers asap. He's a 2something, but the real problem is that he is pretty tall, so his diapers fit merely. He tried on some underwear before his brother was born but nowadays I have to put it on by myself telling him that I will do it. He's not so happy with it. But he protests with whatever we want to put on, so after I put him down from the changing table he's fine with the underwear. Only he doesn't know how to go to the potty and he doesn't want to sit on it, at least not with pulled down underwear or training diapers.
Also we have some rough time bringing him to bed in the evening. We even tried waking him earlier in the morning but he still stays up until 10p.m. No spare time for dh and me. And it's such a fight to make him sleep. He kicks and screams although he is so tired. If we try earlier, he even gets up again and leaves the room. I tried rituals of watching books and reading stories to him, but if he isn't as tired as he needs to be to fall asleep anywhere, he just ignores what I'm telling him about sleeping and all the rituals of dressing for bed etc.
His brother is 6 weeks old now and I really want potty and sleeping to work. Please any hints, stories about how it was with you and your kids etc. are welcome.

[Alejandros Mommy]

have you tried a potty chair? One that goes on the ground and he can sit on? You can place it anywhere in the house and let him get used to it...with pee..I suggest cherrios(sp?) Alejandro loved trying to sink them down in the toilet

[twinzplus3]

Every time I post to one of these I get myself in trouble. But here goes. . .

I understand why you want it to work but honestly, having a new 6 week old sibling at the age of 2 is a HUGE adjustment. Maybe he's not ready to potty train (which is very normal--especially given that he has a new sibling)? Based on my experience, the less you push, the easier it will become.
It kind of sounds like he's entering you into a power struggle that you cannot win. For example, you cannot make him pee (or fall asleep for that matter). You can stand on your head until you're blue in the face but you cannot force him to pee. . .so don't. In fact, the less you push it, the easier it will be. What I would do instead is choose one thing at a time that you can enforce. (For example, he must sit on the potty or little potty in the morning for 1 minute while you sing a song. Or he must try to go potty before a bath.) Also foamy soap worked wonders for motivation to try--you can only use hte foamy soap to wash your hands if you try. Oh--and letting them run around naked. But you need to remember that if he's not ready. . .he's just not ready. I kind of missed in your first post what his physical signs of readiness were???

Re: the evening time. I suspect that this too is related if not exacerbated by the new baby. I don't know what your method of discipline is or if you'd use said method in this situation but you have to remember that you can't force him to sleep. So if you tell him to go to sleep and he doesn't, what is the consequence? However, you CAN insist that he stay in bed, or be quiet or whatever. There can be a tangible consequence to getting out of bed or jumping up and down in his bed or whatever. So my suggestion is to make the rule: you don't have to go to sleep. You just have to lay quietly. We've even allowed our children quiet toys like books, stuffed animals etc. In any case, there has to be a consequence for things like getting up and leaving the bed or not being quiet.

I does get easier. This is a big period of adjustment for your family.

[Adara]

Originally Posted by twinzplus3

Every time I post to one of these I get myself in trouble. But here goes. . .

I asked for it, so may I like it or not, you answered. At least I won't get you in trouble.

Ok, I had typed a pretty long message and killed it. Grrr. So I have to re-write it and it will take some time, well kiddy-free or sleeping time. I wanted to tell you more about everything because you are right, I didn't give all the details. So watch out for some "trouble-replys"

[twinzplus3]

--that's okay. I can take it. I don't like offending people though in cases like this so as long as you're not offended you can think my advice is bologna! The only thing I've learned from having as many kids as I do is that each child is different. I have yet to potty train all of my kids the same way or tackle any other problem the same way. Especially with potty training but in other areas too, I watched my sister in laws bang their heads against a wall (figuratively speaking) trying to get them trained by a certain time but kids do stuff when they're ready. I had thought that I posted some actual helpful tips for potty training but I don't see it in my post. I'll wait till you reply to see if any of my "tricks" might help though!

[QueenAngie]

I had an adult friend that decided she would all at once:
1) Go on a strict diet to lose weight
2) Give up smoking
3) Give up sex

How far did you think she succeded?
And she was an adult too!

I think it lasted almost 23 hours.......and she gave up.
What was she thinking?

I have to laugh when I remember this story.

An adult person can only change one habit at a time
and it takes over 21 days to learn this new habit.

OK, now let's talk about a two year old.
1) Get adjusted to a new sibling, along with no longer being the #1 only child.
2) Sleep in a big boy bed.
3) Get potty trained.

If changing 3 habits at once can't work for an adult.......why do we think it should for a 2 yo?

Being that the entire family is adjusting to a new member, the new baby,
why not take that step first and give it a little bit longer
before progressing on to goals #2 and later on #3.

Your friends online here will give you a lot of tips and pointers to
help along the way.

Good luck!

[Adara]

Ok, I'm way too late with my answer, but here we go. First of all ds goes potty but I kinda "forced" him by putting on some underwear. Dh hated me for doing that because ds peed himself but after like 2 days I got him so far that he told me he needed to pee and we went on his potty. So once it happened that he not only peed and after this he looked into the potty and gagged because of the view. But with the second time he just looked. We flushed it away and said good bye. He liked it.

>>I kind of missed in your first post what his physical signs of readiness were???
He told me when he made a "poo" as we call it and then he was hiding somewhere behind the couch. He also announced when he was finished.

We will work on the sleeping thing next.

[twinzplus3]

I think putting kids in underwear is an excellent way to potty train them. Sometimes, they need the stimulus to connect the internal feeling with pee coming out. I actually prefer to leave mine naked so I don't have to wash out the underwear.

Physical signs of readiness:

I think the best physical sign of readiness is them showing interest. . .they want to go on the potty, want to help flush, etc. Being dry at night, can be a physical sign of readiness but it doesn't have to be. If they are not dry at night, being dry for more than 2 hours during the day is a good sign. Telling you when their diaper is messy etc. It sounds like you really have a good handle on things. Way to go mom!

[4GiftsfromGod]

I’m with the other posters when they say trying to change three habits at once is not going to work. When I recently brought Heavenly over from Kazastan she was not potty trained and because the orphanage was understaffed she didn’t get 1 on 1 care so she would often pee on her self. I tried the potty that talked and pull-ups but they did not work I later found out from another mom who ha adopted that it wasn’t working because she was still adjusting to a new life, having new siblings and still bonding with me. So I kept her on the pull-ups but changed them like diapers until all the other major issues were solved now that worked she is now boned with her sisters and me and has JUST started potty training. So my advice to you is wait till he has adjusted to the new baby before you start the other two and try them one at a time.

[lavatea]

Twinz- I recently read an article on "naked" potty-training and just started it yesterday. So far I've had really good luck! We did run into a situation today and I couldn't wait to get on here and post since I read that you did some of the potty training without panties.

I bought some training pants that have a rubber exterior for the times when we can't be at home. Today I had to take my dad to the doctor so I dropped my daughter off at my grandparents' house for the afternoon. I tried to make it clear to Amelie that the "fancy pants" (that's what she named them) weren't a diaper. After I left, for some unknown reason, my grandmother changed Amelie from the "fancy pants" into another pair of training panties that she had at her house (the regular thick kind that look a lot like men's y-front undies). Well, Amelie peed in the panties. They then changed her into yet another pair of the training panties and put the "fancy pants" on top of the training panties for nap time. Of course Amelie got up soaked (at this stage I'm having her sleep in diapers/pull-ups). Here's the dilemma: I don't know if Amelie would have peed in the "fancy pants" had they left them on her (I'm thinking it's about 50/50 that she would have) so I'm not trying to blame anyone for putting the different training panties on her. My real question is when do you transition from "naked" training to wearing underwear? Is it like potty training all over again?