[vanaden]

My cousin and her daughter have started to hang out with us more lately and man am I stressed out about it. Whenever she calls I just let the machine get it. Whenever they want to come over I just cring!
Whenever my kids play with her daughter (she's 5) they end up with scratches, bruises and on two occasions FULL mouth bit marks. My son had nail marks in his arm to go along with his. I took pictures to show my cousin and I told her about it. The first time it happened she did nothing to disipline her child about it. I could not describe to you how angry it makes me. When this child is around, I am automatically on edge, and mad from the get go.
I really do feel bad for the way I react to her. But this kid is a devil child. She is always putting my daughter down like "no you're not pretty I am". She's VERY rough at all times, there's never a break in the madness.
I have told my cousin when they are playing they will be supervised. Any other advice???

[purelegance]

if anything happens again, i would simply tell her "until your daughter can play nicely, i don't think it's a good idea for you to come over here anymore." harsh? probably, but you have to think of your kids. she's leaving bruises & bite marks on them! not to mention the rude comments! it may not mean much to your daughter now, but what if 5-10 years from now her daughter is still doing that?

[vanaden]

You're so right and I've thought about that too. This child is also very jealous of my daughter and won't let her sit by anyone else (she trys anyway) and she's always telling her what to do , even when i say no she can't do that, the child proceeds to tell her she can. One time she told my daughter "hey look I'm dancing sexy, you do it too" THis child doesn't listen AT ALL and throws a constant fit about everything. She has even pretty much tried to beat up my husband by punching and kicking him. Her mom was sittin right there and did nothing. not one word. There is something very wrong with this situation!
OH my Lord I can't take it!!!

[PDeverit]

Alot of times kids who are aggressive toward others are being treated aggressively at home. Thats not always the case, but is there any way that could be the case? Its normal for kids to bite at that age, but that seems a little extreme.

[vanaden]

I don't see that my cousin is rough or mean to her daughter.
She does let her watch very violent movies (anything she watches) she tells her things like "you know you're eating chopped up cow" when she eats hamburger. There is just no filter at all. She believes in answering all of her questions in full truth ( no matter how inappropriate for her age.)
It's just kind of a weird relationship.

[deedee1231]

Originally Posted by vanaden

I don't see that my cousin is rough or mean to her daughter.
She does let her watch very violent movies (anything she watches) she tells her things like "you know you're eating chopped up cow" when she eats hamburger. There is just no filter at all. She believes in answering all of her questions in full truth ( no matter how inappropriate for her age.)
It's just kind of a weird relationship.

What you have described may not be abuse, but it is not acceptable parenting. I wondered about possible abuse after reading the post about the child "dancing sexy" but if she is watching R rated movies and such that may explain a lot of it. Still, parents have to set boundaries for their kids, she is not an adult and should not be watching adult movies, playing adult video games, or given adult information on a regular basis. Those chopped up cow comments are particularly bizarre !

Unfortunately, you are not going to be able to set those boundaries for your cousin's child, but you can set them for your own children. Sonmetimes that means telling a family member you do not want your children around their children and explaining exactly why you feel this way. I have had to do this before and it I know it can be an uncomfortable confrontation but your first priority is to protect your kids.

[PDeverit]

I agree with you, Deedee. Media influences your behavoir (anyone's, but especially kids. you are what you think). I think it's important to be honest with your kids, but it definitely has to be age appropriate.