[Possibility_girl]

My husband and i are working past an affair. the emotional ups and downs are finnaly getin less and less. this week though ihad an emotional week, just in my own head though. but then i was laying in bed and i couldnt stop thinking about 8 years ago, for a couple of weeks my husband was distant and one night after work when he came home he took a shower, he NEVER did that. we had sat down and i asked him what was going on and he told me that he was upset because i hadnt found a job yet. which was true. but now i am aware of the signs i wonder if that was an affari, but do i want to open up an 8 year old idea? if i asked im sure he would say no, even if he did he would probably lie, If he said yes, i would definatly leave him. part of me wants to just forget about it and keep working on the relationship and move past, but what if it was, that would make it twice he cheated on me.

Thanks for your advice

Lisa

[browneyes01]

if this is a concern of yours then you should bring it up, how are you going to be able to move past it if you have this nagging doubt in your mind and if you are seeing the signs maybe he is doing something. the only true way your're going to be able to get past it is if you ask the question even if he says no at least you have the question out of your head.

[2girls]

If you know he cheated on you once, then the chance of it happening twice is pretty high.
I agree with the PP that you need to at least ask him the questions. But you will never get past this unless and until he is honest with you.
Was he honest about the first affair? How did you find out about that one?

[tiffanyKei]

The only way to resolve something like this is through communication. I recommend that you sit your Husband down to tell him of your concerns. If you do however feel that he might deny everything, there are ways to find out if he really is. Go to this article to find out the many ways you could use to find out the truth. That is... if you really want to.

I also recommend Marriage Counseling after having talked with your husband of his affairs (if he really is). This however is recommended if you do want to work it out in the end, if not, then go for a divorce.