[Cochise]

Hello everyone! I'm new to the forum and I need some good advice about my relationship. I'm currently in a new relationship with a single mother of three and I don't have any kids. I really enjoy spending time with her and I'm so lucky to have her. Her kids are wonderful and they like me just as much as I like them. My main concern is the future and I just wanted to know if anyone has driven down the same path as far as dating a single motheror single father and what tips and advice you can share with me to make this relationship work and not focus on the future so much as far marriage, taking care of kids right off the bat. I can see myself in that light but I just want to know hear some other experiences about doing that.
Thanks!

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board, Cochise!

Glad you've joined.

I am not the person to answer your questions, so am giving this a bump along the way
for another friend to answer you.

[wanttobemommy]

Welcome to Families.com

I have a friend that I used to work with and she is a single mom of three kids. She is currently dating this guy. I am not sure if he has had children but I know that the kids really like him and he likes her. They have only been dating for a few months and He is so wonderful to her and her kids. They are not really serious but he is going out of the way for her. He has helped her get a loan that she wouldnt have qualified for. I dont think they are focusing on the future to much. I know that they are semi serious but havent taken their relationship to the next level. My step father also started dating a single mom. My mom had two kids but he was also a semi single father of two. The semi part is the fact that him and his ex wife has joint custody. With every relationship there is the ups and downs. I hope that you can figure out what is best for your situation. It is sometimes more difficult for single moms or dads to get too attached to a relationship unless their kids approve of the new partner.

[Cochise]

Thanks for the input. It's good to hear other people's experiences which helps whats best for me. I really appreciate the advice. So far I have no regrets about my decision and I hope it works out for the best.

[tymee]

Hello, I am a step mother of twin boys...no children of my own yet. I guess with me I really focused on the relationship I had with my bf at the time (now dh), and I would spend time with him and his boys too, but my main focus was on 'us' because I wanted to make sure that we were strong enough, because I didnt want the kiddos to get so attached to me, or me attached to them, and then something happen between us. Also I wanted to make sure I fell in love with him first, and his kids 2nd, not because I didnt want a relationship with the kids, but because I needed to make sure we were 'right'...

My sister fell in love with her now ex-husbands little boy first, which is why she said she married him...so when I met my dh and found out he had 2 little boys, I really made sure I loved him for him, before I fully got involved with the kids...now we are so happy.
My advise is to live day by day and make sure you are really in the relationship because you like/love the person you are with...if you two are happy, the kids will pick up on it and will respect you and the relationship will blossom from there. Keep an open mind and be patient

Good Luck!

[Cochise]

Thanks again. Thanks to everyone for sharing their experiences. It makes me feel a whole lot better.

[Adara]

Some time has passed. How are you guys doing? I'm a single mother of soon to be three and I wonder if there will ever be a man who'd be interested in getting in touch with a family. So, I think you are doing quite well. I'd say don't stress out too much. Just let it happen. If you are all doing fine, so be it. If you have any plans on children with her, some have a serious wish of becoming a parent, and you still are not, you should talk about it at a certain time. I write this because the wish for children killed our marriage besides some other troubles.

[chio88]

Just enjoy each and every single day. Don't let things pressure you. I wish you all the best.

[punkytina]

I had a child already when i got with my now, husband, and i already had a child from him, but he didnt know about her till i contacted him and told him so.. (if that makes sense) he gets on well with my oldest son, they are close, We have since had another 3 children and if anything i would say, my husband is closer to my older child than he is his own children? He dont ignore them, he just makes that extra special time for him and Matt (my oldest)..
My brother got with a single mom of 4 children, her kids are 'livewires' but my brother enjoys being in such a chatic and hectic household, they now have a 3 year old son to add the noise?? and its all good in their household..
Not many men/women will take on someone elses children, and it takes a special person to do so.. Especially if that person dont have children of their own... There are men, having children by different women and going off and not supporting them or even seeing them, its sad, but when the odd guy comes along and shows that he can be that responsible to someone elses kids, i think .. At Last a man prepared to step up to 'the plate' .. Good on you, if there were more men in the world like you, then it wouldnt be such a bad place

[jmmv08]

Just enjoy each and every single day. Don't let things pressure you.

I agree. Everything will work out for the best.