[MaxineDurchova]

I am a 18 year old sexual abuse survivor. I endured more than seven years of sexual abuse from my half-brother. I disclosed the abuse at 15, went to court at 17, lost the case, and entered myself into counseling. Despite this, I really need advice from people who are in relationships where their spouse has been sexually abused. Despite being 18 years old, I have never been in a relationship.
I am now entering into college, and want to have a relationship, but quite frankly, I hate to be touched, and I know I could not handle being kissed or anything similar. The point of this is, if you were in a relationship with me, when would you want to know I had been abused, and what would your reaction be?

[mcmama]

Its probably not as uncommon as it seems to not have been in a relationship at 18. Sometimes it is because of surviving abuse, sometimes it is other trauma, and sometimes there just aren't people who mix well with you where you are, and when you get older, you get out and find them and move on.

I'm sorry you lost the case, it is very hard to prove these things, and very difficult for the survivors.

I have not had this happen to me personally, but I do know people who are survivors. Basically, they take their time. You are not to worry about this, it is normal.

Hating to be touched is also something that is common, and a potential partner should know what the issues are once you are able to trust someone. It helps to know that someone has been abused, and is not just reacting to the other person.

College will bring with it a lot of new experiences and people for you. YOu will also probably have resources on campus for counseling, and you should take advantage of them. The adjustment to freshman year is a big one for most people, and it can be a happy one. Give yourself time and don't be afraid to share important things about yourself when you find someone who you feel comfortable with and would like more intimacy.