[ethancrg]

okay okay okay, now hear me out before you start asking 'Why would i reduce my sex drive?! enjoy it while i have it!"....... My fiance and I had a baby about a month ago, (first of all fatherhood is the best!) and we've had sex maybe 6 times in the last year... Now i've heard of pregnant women not wanting sex, but her sex drive seems to have completely vanished. I used to not be able to keep her hands off me, she ALWAYS wanted it. However, now she doesn't want to touch me, nor am i allowed to touch her. If i try to touch her, there's always some convenient distraction that pulls her away. It's all really killing me, and its not just the sex itself, its the intimacy that i miss the most. Don't get me wrong, we cuddle, but its hard to remember the last time she really kissed me like she meant it. i know she loves me still, and i love her more than ever and couldn't imagine not spending the rest of my life with her, but I'm getting frustrated more and more often by all this. I know her very well and really don't ever see her drive coming back at all and i need to do something to drastically reduce my drive. All the frustration causes arguments and grudges and i need it to stop. Are there ANY natural remedies or herbal treatment or even over-the-counter items to help out??????

P.S.- i do MOST of the stuff with the baby, while working 40+ hours a week, so no, she's not stressed or worn out. Also, its NOT JUSt the lack of sex over the last year, its the lack of affection, i could care less if she has sex or not, its the thought that counts, or in this case, affection........ this in reply to the first couple of posts by you ladies.

[mollymae]

Not to be rude but could you not DIY to reduce your frustrations? Then just concentrate on the cuddles and kissing, without it having to go any further? She will get her sex drive back, but its only been a month since your baby was born and focuses in life change a lot for a women. I know after having one of mine, I felt like I was almost being disloyal to the baby by having some me time. Talk to her. It's important to keep the lines of communication open to avoid resentment building up.

[JeanLynn81]

mollymae is right...just give her time. It does take a long time for a new mom to want to "spread the love" again.

Until then, Rosie and her sisters may help. That's what my best guy friend would say anyways!

[2girls]

Is she even cleared to have sex yet?
After having a baby my Dr always gave me 6 weeks 'off' before clearing me for intercourse again.
I totally agree with the PP, give her time. Her sex drive WILL come back.....believe me

[QueenAngie]

Has she even had her six weeks check-up yet?

She has to make certain everything has healed before jumping in again.

You need to respect that she has just had a baby. I'd imagine she is up a lot yet with the baby and not getting a lot of sleep.

Are you helping with the baby, changing diapers, bathing.....cooking meals, helping with the wash, mopping the kitchen floor, cleaning the bathroom, vaccuming? That all goes with parenting too.

Her sex drive will return in due time. It is early yet.

[mellow4lyf]

i wish i knew how to reduce my sex drive too, i have seen myself start arguments and become fustrated and DIY doesnt always cure me. Trying not to think about it suxs too. Yet im still young so i just believe its normal. if you find a way let me know! Dont resort to alcohol or else it will get worse!