[mcmama]

We are about to go for my son's road test today. My car is a bit "iffy" and I am not sure the kid will pass. He hasn't practiced a lot. He is very calm, I am a nervous wreck.

Anyone else been through this stressful ordeal as a single mom?

[JeanLynn81]

Yeah, my mom. I could ask her for a bit of advice maybe?

I'm pretty sure the test didn't bother her...it was trusting me alone with her car afterwards.

[mcmama]

Well, he knocked over the cones, as I knew he would. So he has a retest in March.

I can't parallel park, and our car is difficult because you really cannot gauge the distance in the rear. The ford taurus is weird that way. There's a blind spot and you cannot be really certain just where the car ends.

Also he hasn't practiced much because I am the only one who makes a car available to him, and it triggers a lot of anxiety. Serious anxiety. So I have told his father and his brother that this is man stuff and they will have to help him, I won't anymore.

[twinzplus3]

My mom taught me to drive in a cemetary. Real roads, no traffic. . .she says the no traffic part eased her anxiety.

[JeanLynn81]

Originally Posted by twinzplus3

My mom taught me to drive in a cemetary. Real roads, no traffic. . .she says the no traffic part eased her anxiety.

You know, that is actually a great idea. I learned in a parking lot of an old hardware store that had closed.

Janet, sorry it went so bad. But at least you put your best effort into it!

[mcmama]

I did - but it is not good enough, and not effective. So I told my ex and my oldest today via email that this is their job now, and their problem, and they can figure it out. I am done.

I mean - I got stranded on ice two weeks ago picking him up from school. I took him to a special event at the Coast Guard academy where he has been accepted last friday, dealing again with snow and ice, and also urban driving through NYC. (and bad phones) I will take a day on Friday to deal with his wisdom teeth being extracted, and I am still not sure what my ex intends to do about holding up his end of the bargain financially. And he won't answer me, although he has promised to pay half. He just won't tell me how or when.

And I am NOT a good driver. I am almost paralyzed with anxiety when I am behind the wheel in bad weather or any urban situation. I hyperventilate and have to repeat mantras about breathing. This has gone on for years. There are no medications for anxiety that you take only when you drive. My ex is a MUCH BETTER DRIVER than I am. Anytime you want to take a vacation in the San Juan mountains in Colorado - hire him. He drives the scary parts great. I have trouble backing out of the driveway.

But I am the one that everyone relies on. Even when I was married. Even when I thought I was miscarrying this kid 18 years ago - I had to drive myself to the Dr. Ex's excuse was well, somebody has to stay with the older kid - you certainly don't expect us to take him to the doctor with you while you are bleeding, do you?

So I resigned from being the driving teacher today. Told the ex that he takes care of this or the boy just doesn't learn to drive. I already paid for drivers ed. But that was six months ago when he got his permit. His father has taken him parallel parking ONCE. And he actually knows how to do it.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?????

I told him he either does this or hires the driving school again - and that I will pay half the cost of that, and consider myself VERY GENEROUS since I paid it all before and carried the older kid on my insurance until this year.

Of course, no one's listening. They won't talk to me either.

[QueenAngie]

((((Hugs))))

Janet, I feel your pain. You survived DS#1 learning to drive.
'Somebody' needs to handle teaching DS #2 to drive.

DH and I made a deal, I'd teach DS#1 most of the fine points of driving. He is an excellent driver at 22.

And DH would teach DS#2 most of the fine points of driving.

Hence my mistake.

DH, in his infinite wisdom, showed him how to use the accelerator (gas pedal)......but not the brake. Duh. He could not stop once he got started.

1st rule is teach how to brake.

I have to agree with you, Janet. Either his Dad or his older brother need to teach the fine points of driving to your younger son.

It is enough to give a mother gray hair!

(((hugs)))

[QueenAngie]

Cemetery is a good idea for a place to learn to drive.

We also have the state fair grounds locally. Huge empty parking lots.
Everybody goes there to learn to drive, and it is a very safe place.
Nobody to hit.

[mcmama]

We really don't have much near us that is not crowded and full of potholes. Cemeteries around here are not quiet - people in and out. Shopping is a joke unless you go on the highway, because the parking is so poorly planned.

Ex lives on a nice quiet street full of orthodox Jews who do not drive much on weekends. A block from a synagogue. By a park.

The kid is good on the brake, but not on the parking. He is good on steering, as best as anyone can be in that car. But parking is difficult. The other night he took me out to dinner, and I kept telling him he was going the wrong way in the parking lot. Heeyy! What??? Nah!!! Mom! Don't be silly. They wouldn't have the entrance OVER THERE. This is fine and - hey, what's he doin anyway. Well, why is the entrance OVER THERE??? That is STUPID. How they expect me to know that anyway?

Well, I told you son.

Yeah, but YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS ALWAYS YELLIN AT ME!!!

Things are just not well laid out here, or marked, or maintained. And I have about had it.

[JeanLynn81]

My mom had it easy with my brother. Guess who got to teach him? Yup, me. I haven't been the same since...

So I feel ya. Get the ex on it!