[cckeimig]

Has anyone else been so lucky as to have had someone sabotage her efforts at breastfeeding? My mother-in-law did it to me with my son (things like giving him a bottle half an hour max before I was due to arrive midday), and I was so intimidated that I gave up after only ten weeks! But I luckily felt much more sure of myself by the time my daughter came along, and I was able to breastfeed for ten months.

[beth]

Originally Posted by cckeimig

Has anyone else been so lucky as to have had someone sabotage her efforts at breastfeeding? My mother-in-law did it to me with my son (things like giving him a bottle half an hour max before I was due to arrive midday), and I was so intimidated that I gave up after only ten weeks! But I luckily felt much more sure of myself by the time my daughter came along, and I was able to breastfeed for ten months.

Goodness! I've heard some evil mother-in-law tales in my time but sabotaging the baby's breastfeeding, how awful! Did she have a glass mirror on the wall tht she spoke to every day? Seriously, that must have been very distressing for you. Glad the second one worked out well.

[hennypenny]

I wouldn't say my mum deliberately went out of her way to sabotage my breastfeeding, but she did drop a lot of hints that there was 'nothing wrong' with formula (which I agree with, but didn't need to hear it all day every day when trying to learn to breastfeed). She bought a tin of the same formula she fed us as kids, 'in case it doesn't work out' and gave it to me.
I breastfed my daughter for two weeks, and when I stopped it was my own decision, not hers, but I could hear in her voice, a sense of victory, like she'd gotten her way if you know what I mean? I think breastfeeding embarrassed her

[beth]

It's sad for your mother to think that a natural function like breastfeeding is embarassing, especially for her own daughter to be doing. Maybe she's squeamish with a lot of bodily functions, but breastfeeding is not only good for the baby, but it promotes a strong bond as well. Gosh, we humans get pretty mixed up sometimes! Important thing is that you and your child didn't suffer because of her.

[hennypenny]

Yes Beth, I was gutted by my decision, as all I wanted to do was breastfeed. But in the end, I feel my body made the decision at the time lol. I'm pregnant now, and am hoping I have more success this time.

[pattiewrites]

When my first baby was colicky, my mother in law told me there was something wrong with my milk. I kept a diary for 2 weeks with everything I ate, her feedings, her reactions, etc. I took it to the doctor and he laughed. He said I was doing everything perfectly and that more formula fed babies are colicky. Then he said, "Let me guess, she never breastfed." I was so happy and felt vindicated. We continued to breastfeed until she weaned herself at 14 months old. I was very lucky because my mother breastfed and I had support there. I vowed to NEVER take advice from someone who had never breastfed a baby. What do they know?

With my third baby, a nurse at the hospital gave her a bottle of formula before bringing her to me after the birth. I was furious! I didn't let her out of my sight for the rest of the hospital stay, since bottles that early can interfere with establishing a good breastfeeding relationship.

I'm happy to see this forum here. I think many women who give up on breastfeeding do so because they lack the support they need to be successful.

[beth]

Originally Posted by pattiewrites

When my first baby was colicky, my mother in law told me there was something wrong with my milk. I kept a diary for 2 weeks with everything I ate, her feedings, her reactions, etc. I took it to the doctor and he laughed. He said I was doing everything perfectly and that more formula fed babies are colicky. Then he said, "Let me guess, she never breastfed." I was so happy and felt vindicated. We continued to breastfeed until she weaned herself at 14 months old. I was very lucky because my mother breastfed and I had support there. I vowed to NEVER take advice from someone who had never breastfed a baby. What do they know?

With my third baby, a nurse at the hospital gave her a bottle of formula before bringing her to me after the birth. I was furious! I didn't let her out of my sight for the rest of the hospital stay, since bottles that early can interfere with establishing a good breastfeeding relationship.

I'm happy to see this forum here. I think many women who give up on breastfeeding do so because they lack the support they need to be successful.

Pattie,
That is really dreadful. What a mother-in-law! (No wonder they get a bad name!) Thank heavens you had a good doctor who could reassure you that you were doing an ok job. It's a pity that some people are so insecure that they will threaten the natural feeding habits of their own flesh and blood in order to make themselves feel better. Good on you for seeking advice elsewhere. I think you're correct in saying that new mothers (especially first time mothers) need support with breast feeding. They certainly don't need to be told that there's something wrong with their milk!

[beth]

Originally Posted by hennypenny

Yes Beth, I was gutted by my decision, as all I wanted to do was breastfeed. But in the end, I feel my body made the decision at the time lol. I'm pregnant now, and am hoping I have more success this time.

Mothers can be very domineering with their grandchildren. My mother kept on and on for months for me to use a pacifier but my baby didn't need one. But because she'd used them for her children, she thought I should. This argument went on for weeks until one day I was pegging clothes on the line. I came inside to see my mother looking rather sheepish yet smug, and here was a dummy in the baby's mouth. She had gone out and bought one, then waited till I was outside to slip it in. Boy, was there a ruckus after that!

I hope this time round you will be avbe to breastfeed, but if you can't, that's ok too. As long as you make the decision for yourself. Good luck with it!!

[cckeimig]

Well, I suppose we must remember that breastfeeding went out of style for a couple of decades there, so that's part of the squeamishness, I'm sure.
My MIL raised three kids on formula and they "turned out just fine", according to her. Yeah, whatever. I disagree, but then I needn't be cruel enough to throw that in her face. Their traumas are not necessarily due to the fact that their mom was too uptight to wait for letdown to take place, so she decided she didn't have milk and didn't bother to work at it, right?
Then she'd go on and on about how he didn't get full on just my milk (it came gushing out, but the formula had so much iron in it, it hurt his tummy, so when I laid him down to drink my milk, he cried in pain. He came a month early, after all.). I was under so much stress at the time that I just gave up.
Okay, Christina, claws back in. Sorry, folks, I've a bit of resentment towards her to deal with, obviously. I think that's why I was so proud that Lizzy never accepted a bottle with a nipple. She only uses sippy cup tops and only ever has, ever since I convinced her to start drinking water and juice from them. It was a bit of a challenge to get her to take formula, but once she started at the daycare at seven months, it was easier.

[hennypenny]

Oh my gosh, don't get me started on pacifiers! (we call them dummies)
My fiance had 3 kids prior to our baby together, and not one of them ever had a dummy and were just fine. We didn't want our first baby together to have one either. Which was fine, as she showed no indication of needing one, and so never had one. (but I do respect other parents' decision to use one if they wish)
My mum kept hounding me and hounding me to give her one, and didn't have any reasons that were good enough. She said when I was a baby, she gave me one because they lived in a flat and she was scared the neighbours would complain if I cried.
Well, we lived in a flat when my first baby was born too, and she kept saying that was a reason to give her a dummy 'in case she cries too much'. Well, she wasn't crying too much! And to be honest, if she was, we would've dealt with it, and I'm sure our neighbours wouldn't have held it against us that a poor defenseless baby was upset.
We were lucky (and surprised) she didn't go out and buy a dummy and sneak it in too, but she nagged us for weeks about it. We also didn't want to use a bouncer, told her this, and she went out and bought us two! So yes, sabotage can come in many forms