[dlr]

Kind of 3 questions in one. What responsibilities do your children have? And what are some effective ways of getting them to listen? What do you do if they don't? I am getting to the point where I am so frustrated with my almost 3yr old. I will ask her please don't, whatever it may be, and I ask again and by the 3rd time I am ready to explode and she just looks at me like I am the dumb one. The responisiblities, I don't think that it is to much to ask that she put her own toys away when asked or do something small. But most of the time, I get the response of "no". Or in the case last night DH gave her a treat and she dropped one on the floor, he told her to pick it up and she told him that he could sweep it. With her toys, I have told her that I am going to throw them away and she says in the garbage, okay. I have resorted to packing half of her toys away and am going to rotate them. But, anyways I know that she is 3 and I'm sure doing what 3yr olds do, but I need a different approach or ideas. It is really frustrating me.

[mcmama]

You might be getting terrible twos at three. This isn't just tantrums, this is willful negativity.

Sweep it????

Sheesh.

You both have to have a united approach to this - when she is rude like this, explain that it is rude behavior and there are consequences. Then make the consequences stick.

She really is trying to see who is the boss here. Yelling and screaming and stuff like that will not work with her.

Instead of "dont" - try it this way. "You need to put your toys away. Toys do not stay on the floor. Toys stay on the shelf." "Yada yada ignore ignore".
"I told you that you need to put your toys away. Toys do not stay on the floor. Toys stay on the shelf. If I have to pick up your toys, I will take them away because you don't want them and they don't stay on the floor." Then have her SEE you do it. "Whiny whiny I want my toys now." "No, I took them away because you left them on the floor." "whiny whiny I want my toys NOW!" "I put your toys away in a safe place because you don't take care of them. You leave them all over the floor. When you show me that you know how listen to me and put toys away where they belong when you are told (or when you are finished) , I will give you your toys back."
You will likely get some rage and attitude about this. Too bad. They need to know who is boss.

And yes, rotating is a good idea, and discreetly removing something when she loses interest.

[twinzplus3]

Geez Janet--I didn't know you had met my kids?

Seriously, I have never subscribed to the idea of warnings. I say it, there is a consequence, it is done. Period. We also do not allow our kids to talk back to us. "No" (said in defiance) is unacceptable from the very first time they say it--even if that's at 14 mos.

For disobedience, we would do similar to what Janet has described. However, I have found that my little ones need more help cleaning and picking up their things. All the kids in our house have responsibilities--even the twins. The twins are 29 mos. and Meg is 4. . .these girls pick up their toys, organize the shoe bench and help sweep and dust. They don't really do the things on their own. . .I generally will get down and help or make a game out of it somehow. I also bought them their own sized broom, dust pan, and duster which is how I get that kind of stuff done.

[QueenAngie]

Consistency is the key. Every single time.

That's both parents' job and it isn't fun, but in the end it is worth it.
A parent is not a friend to a 3 yo.

Let me tell you, having lived through teenagers......if you can't get control with DD at age 3; in 10 years, that 13 year old will definitely be out of control.

Better to let her know you are the parent, and the one in charge.

((((Hugs)))

[ProudMommy77]

This post was really helpful. Our two year old is really testing boundaries with us, and we're trying very hard to stay consistent and to also do the taking toys away thing. It seems that hurts her more than the naughty step when she's disobedient.

They really do want to test the parents, eh?

[QueenAngie]

Yes, been there, done that.

Children do test their boundaries. It isn't a one time thing. Seems like each stage, as they advance, they test the boundaries once again.

It shows your child how much you love them, by keeping them safe & showing them limits.