[vanaden]

My parents weren't and aren't exactley model parents if you know what I mean. They divorced when I was 5 just to add two more crazy people in the mix. Both mom and my dad (who is deceased now for 2 years from lung cancer) were both drug addicted and my step dad as well.
My mom is very narcissitic (Spelling?) All she cares about is her and her problems and it's ALL she talks about ALL the time. She was at my house complaining about everything and telling me all about her affair with a dude that 's my age in front of my kids. Finally she decided my DH and I were to "judgemental" and stopped coming around. (even though she lives across the street) If I don't agree w/ her she will flat out stop coming around.
My dad died as I said and I never got to resolve anything w/ him. He was on speed and weed among other things (pills mostly) my whole life. He was also addicted to porography and later in his life child pornography. I hate looking at those words together, it makes me want to vomit...
He would go days without speaking to my brother or I. He was also addicted to video games and the net and was linked into some weird "spiritual" things. I never told him how he effected my life.
My stepdad was as controlling as they come, from not letting us step to hard up the stairs, to no scrapping our fork on our teeth, to standing outside my brother and my door to listed to what we were talking about. Now I think he's on meth, along w/ mom.
Where do I begin...The Lord is everything to me and He is the ultimate example in how to forgive..but how do you do it for real?
sorry so long..

[mcmama]

You know, what your mom did is really inappropriate. And you are right to set limits. Narcissists really hate that, and often will accuse you of being narrow minded, when in fact you are just setting a healthy limit for your own survival.

Forgiveness takes time, and to do it you have to have healed to a point where you are capable. It helps to understand what the problem is - but that does not mean that you have to keep saying yes to the problem. You can forgive your mom without putting up with her garbage.

Sounds like you had a rough deal. Also sounds like you are living a joyous and full life - quite an accomplishment!!!

[MissyChrissy]

imo, forgiveness will come after there's been some distance between the ugliness that was in your life, and now. If you're still in the midst of it, or it's still touching you on a regular basis...well, I just struggle to see where true forgiveness could happen.

I'm so sorry your life was hard. I'm sure it's made you quite the strong, capable woman today.

[QueenAngie]

The only perfect families are on TV.

Some families are crazy and put the fun in dysfunctional.

Other families truly are sad with many issues. So sorry that you have a rough childhood.

The good thing is that you have become a strong adult woman,
with kindness and love in her heart,
know right from wrong,
are a great role model for your children,
and know that you are loved by the Lord.

You should be very proud of yourself.

(((Hugs)))