Search Results for: separate beds

Sleeping in Separate Beds: You’re Not Alone

Our culture believes that couples who sleep in separate beds are either experiencing or inviting problems in their marriage. Because I’m a light sleeper, I’m a firm believer that couples should be free to sleep separately if necessary. Jon and I almost always sleep together, but if one of us is restless we move to another bed, to keep that person from being woken up. I know that sleeping in the same bed improves intimacy. Once kids are part of the equation alone time between couples is scarce, and time in bed together, even if it’s just the process of … Continue reading →

Do You and Your Spouse Sleep in Separate Beds?

In the days of black and white television, it was scandalous to show a man and woman in the same bed. I remember seeing episodes of I Love Lucy and wondered why Lucy and Ricky had twin beds—the world just wasn’t ready for anything more suggestive. Today when we hear of a man and woman sleeping in two separate beds, our thoughts immediately leap to the conclusion that they are having anger and/or sexual problems. But is that the only reason for sleeping separately? Some people are driven to the couch or to the guest bedroom by their spouse’s snoring … Continue reading →

Tossing the Bouquet and Garter

One wedding tradition I didn’t follow at my own reception was the tossing of the bouquet and garter. I didn’t like the idea that it symbolized women scrabbling to be the next to get married, or having Jon remove an article of my clothing in front of everyone. If we look at the origins of this particular wedding tradition, we can see how it evolved. Traditionally, brides carried a bouquet that contained strong-smelling herbs and spices. This was, in part, another way of warding off evil spirits, but it could also serve to sweeten the proceedings if any of the … Continue reading →

The Harmful “Him” vs. “Her”

I know that men and women think differently. My first impulse is to examine how much of that is natural and how much is a result of cultural conditioning, but that’s a study for another time, and really another blog. What I want to focus on today is the sort of “us” vs. “them” mentality that arises sometimes, and how that might affect marriages. I had to read “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” for a high school health class. I found it abhorrent, and said as much in my paper on the book. I understand as much … Continue reading →

The Demise of Our Culture?

I was watching an interview with a Fox News contributor and author, Laura Ingraham, who was talking about her newest book, “Of Thee I Zing.” Apparently her book is about the demise of our culture. There was a person on this show who totally agreed with everything she was saying and there was another one who didn’t. One of the comments made is how each generation says the same thing, how much worse kids are “today” than they were “in my time.” Even back in the 50’s during the time of “I Love Lucy,” when a married couple depicted on … Continue reading →

Sleeping with Another

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When you’ve been used to sleeping on your own, sleeping with another person can be an interesting experience. It can at times be frustrating, it can be comforting or it can be a lot of fun. I suspect Mick hasn’t found it too much fun sharing a bed with me the last few weeks. Because of the pain in my back I have been very restless. Turning over in bed, turns into a major exercise. Of course we could choose to have separate beds. We do have another double bed in the house but he’d rather put up with the … Continue reading →

Bed-Hopping Siblings

Some parents get very upset and worried when they discover that siblings who go to sleep (or at least go to bed) in their own separate beds, end up co-sleeping with one (or more) of their siblings during the night. Depending on the ages, temperaments, and sibling bonds of the children–this might be normal or troublesome. I think a parent’s attitudes and the family culture have something to do with it as well. Recently, someone was telling me that she is really concerned because now that both of her children are out of cribs, they can often be found snuggled … Continue reading →

Sex and the Older Married Couple

My maternal grandparents had separate beds. Apparently it was pretty common back in the forties and fifties. And with the influence of television and the separate beds on the situation comedies, no wonder we all thought it was common. When I asked my mother why they had separate beds, she answered that it was just what people their age did. I don’t think people lose interest in sex so much as they have a deeper need for simple companionship as they grow older. I also believe that the amount of medication that we need to take as we get older … Continue reading →

Lucy Ricardo: The Redhead Who Will Never Die

What is it about Lucy and Ricky Ricardo that has endured for more than half a century of television history? Read on for some thoughts on the celluloid mystique of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. It is so odd that with the phenomenon known as television reruns, I Love Lucy, filmed more than half a century ago, is so much a part of every day television viewing that it can be considered pop culture. Did you know that almost every minute of every day somewhere in the world an I Love Lucy rerun is playing? Surely there are few faces … Continue reading →

Putting Your Preschooler to Work

Nothing makes preschoolers happier than helping their parents.  Studies show that young children are wired to get pleasure from pleasing their mom or dad.  So, instead of ignoring your four-year-old when he offers to help you make the beds, fold laundry or put away groceries, allow him to exercise his independence by lending a hand. In some cases, a preschooler’s attempt at helping is more of a hindrance to parents; however, with a little patience you can turn these heartfelt efforts into teachable moments. When my now 8-year-old daughter was a preschooler nothing delighted her more than being able to … Continue reading →