[tmwhalens]

I have been living in Boston now, for over a month. I had left Kentucky in late January, stayed with family and friends in Florida, then decided that the culture down there (including the hot weather and 'touristy feel') wasn't for me. So....I headed north to the New England area. Ah, the good ol' New England area Anyway....I have an attorney now and have been in therapy dealing with gender issues, and really putting focus on resolving my feelings of anxiety and depression. I am now coming to the realization that I may indeed by trans-gender, but that THAT was not the reason for my problems in life. My problems were in developing and maintaining relationships, and dealing with unforseen circumstances. Those types of things have nothing to do with gender identity. So.....I have been off the testosterone-blocker and estrogen-creator since my wife left out of fear of what I was becoming, and plan on learning to love me on the INSIDE first, before dealing with anything on the outside. I have also come to find that the people that I thought were my friends and supporters (therapist for gender issues in Kentucky, the GLBT community in general) all disappeared when the going got rough. They were all there to go "rah, rah, rah!!!!" when I was talking about transitioning. When I began talking about "What the hell just happened to my family?!?" they said "Oh, well, can't help you there, buh-bye!". So, I'm looking at going on medications, and continuing therapy, to treat anxiety and depression (one of the therapists i am seeing says she thinks i have might have ADHD because I have trouble focusing and finishing projects, and frequently feeling bored). I do wonder if ADHD is being over-diagnosed, since I AM 36 years old and wouldn't SOMEONE have mentioned this to me earlier in my life??? Anyway.....I have an attorney, and now I'm working on getting my wife to come sit at the table and discuss things like visitation, custody and our marriage. I still love her VERY MUCH.