[babydawn]

I think that I get seperation anxiety when my kids are away from me. Anytime they leave the house, I worry that they won't come home, that they will die in a car crash or something, even if it is with my husband. He told me once when I was voicing my concerns "They are my kids too, I love them just as much as you do." Good point hubby.

School is starting on Monday and my kids really want to ride their bikes or walk like most of the other kids in my neighborhood. I just don't want to let them, because I am afraid that they will be abducted. It doesn't matter to me that I have checked the local sex offender registry and there are none on their route to school, or that there are probably 20 other kids from our neighborhood that walk everyday, I still panic.

A few months ago my husband and I left our 3 oldest kids with his mother for the first time for longer than one night while we went back east to see his grandma and grandpa. I was sick. What if, what if, what if, and then it also included what if I die on the plane, my kids need a mom, and not just any mom, they need ME! My husband has planned an off-roading/camping trip for he and I to go on with some friends...no kids allowed. That means I will have to leave my 8 month old baby as well. Now I am just freaked out about that. It is only for 48 hours, but the same thoughts go through my head...what if my baby is really sad because I am not there, what if we get attacked by mountain lions....(stupid, but it goes through my mind), what if we roll off of a cliff, (also stupid, my husband would never put me in harms way). I should say that once I made it back east, I was fine, but my baby was with me then.

Has anyone experienced problems like these? I just don't know what to do. I am always worrying about the members of my immediate family and their well being. Is this normal? Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[My2boysnagirl]

Originally Posted by babydawn

I think that I get seperation anxiety when my kids are away from me. Anytime they leave the house, I worry that they won't come home, that they will die in a car crash or something, even if it is with my husband. He told me once when I was voicing my concerns "They are my kids too, I love them just as much as you do." Good point hubby.

School is starting on Monday and my kids really want to ride their bikes or walk like most of the other kids in my neighborhood. I just don't want to let them, because I am afraid that they will be abducted. It doesn't matter to me that I have checked the local sex offender registry and there are none on their route to school, or that there are probably 20 other kids from our neighborhood that walk everyday, I still panic.

A few months ago my husband and I left our 3 oldest kids with his mother for the first time for longer than one night while we went back east to see his grandma and grandpa. I was sick. What if, what if, what if, and then it also included what if I die on the plane, my kids need a mom, and not just any mom, they need ME! My husband has planned an off-roading/camping trip for he and I to go on with some friends...no kids allowed. That means I will have to leave my 8 month old baby as well. Now I am just freaked out about that. It is only for 48 hours, but the same thoughts go through my head...what if my baby is really sad because I am not there, what if we get attacked by mountain lions....(stupid, but it goes through my mind), what if we roll off of a cliff, (also stupid, my husband would never put me in harms way). I should say that once I made it back east, I was fine, but my baby was with me then.

Has anyone experienced problems like these? I just don't know what to do. I am always worrying about the members of my immediate family and their well being. Is this normal? Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Awe. you sure your not me? lol..Seriously, I am the exact same way! I worry, worry, worry! I literally get ill. My stomach gets all cramped up(not to be grouse)but like I've got to go to the bathroom feeling, it actually hurts, I get sad, I can't realy enjoy myself because I'm too busy worrying. And when my babies were little I was the same exact way, what if they get into a car accident and they ( well ya know, I can't even say this?) My husband tells me since we never get a break away barely maybe 3-4 times every six months, sheesh if that! so he will say when I start doing this(what if there crying? What if they get on your parents nerves?(I know they love there grandbabies very much and there the nicest ppl but still I worry, OMGosh what if you and I both die we dont have any will made up we don't have anyone to take the babie, we've verbally discussed it with his sister who's the best mother I've ever seen, besides me(just kidding)..lol..but no really, I worry exactly as you've stated, I can't enjoy myself i worry that much. I rather have my children all with me and know there safe. I worry about death, I dont' want to exp the death of any of my children and my heart breaks for the parents who've experienced this awful feeling I"m sure that they've felt(breaks my heart to think about what they've had to go threw .) I then will worry but I dont want them to exp the sadness and pain from losing one of us. I think your perfectly normal, but then i again, how many of us are really this worrisome? OK my spelling hasn't b een perfect as you can see, but the point isn't my spelling it's about this awful fear we feel and it's realy and I think the best thing if you've not done it yet is we both need to get a living will made up to ensure that our kids go to the right place if GOD forbid something shouuld happen to any of us. Myabe this would ease a little bit of stress. Just try when your gone away from your kids to always make sure like i do and say I love you so much, have a good time, mommy will be thinking of you, do you feel like you've abandond them in a sense when you go away for 2 days? I feel this way and the longest I've been away is one night, that is not normal for me to do either, Never get breaks hardly ever really, but that feeling is there, bc I was abandoned myself, I think i feel this way for my kids when i'm not with them, normally when i go out its from 7ish to the next am early and we pick up our babies, his parents will take em to give us a break but to me it's not a break bc i worry the whole time, the what if's. Ok are you me?

[babydawn]

I don't think I have it quite as bad as you . I am usually okay to leave them for a few hours during the day and even at night (not over night). My problems come in when they leave ME. Unless, of course, these going out of town instances. My kids are SO excited. They think it is great to go and get to stay with grandma and grandpa. Its my baby I am more worried about with that because she doesn't understand that I am coming home. And I panic when my kids go elsewhere in a car with someone other than myself. I guess it is better to be over protective than under protective. I guess we all have our little quirks....you and I will just have to keep hanging in there until they are grown, and then I will still probably worry.

[My2boysnagirl]

ok, so your not as bad as me.

[beth]

I found it hard at times not to be preoccupied about where my kids were, but I think it's fairly common. I haven't checked out the local sex-offenders register yet but if my kids are late coming home, I seem to imagine the worst. I remember when my eldest was in kindergarten, the class went on an excusion on a ferry all around the harbor. None of these five year olds could swim, and due to space constraints, only two parents were alowed to accompany the two teachers. I was a wreck all day! But I did find out I wasn't the only one. School excusions are also a nightmare, especially ones involving several days. Then there's all the teenage parties. Honestly, I don't think think it goes away until either we die or we have a lobotomy. Bring it on!!
Seriously though, if the worrying is really hurting you, you may be able to learn some useful techniques with a counsellor. Even talking about your fears can lessen them.

[October]

It's good that you love your kids so much, many folks don't care enough to look after their offspring.
But maybe, as a loving mother you should put your childrens feelings and wishes before your own and give then some room to roam and if your Baby is already 8 month old it won't hurt the little one to be without you for just one day.
They will grow up and go their own way eventually...
Take live a bit easier.

[mcmama]

I think we all worry when our kids are away - anything can happen. And I think women worry more than men, although they worry too. I have teens. One family I know has learned that they have to call in, observe curfews, etc, because "your mom worries" . When the kids complained, their dad told them that having a mom who worries is a wonderful thing, and many people don't have that! He said that her worry is the main reason why they should respect her wishes and call if they are late, or come home at a reasonable hour.
My kids are good about calling, because they know it is just me. I think I have convinced them that worrying for mothers is part of the job, but hey, don't push it!

[sarahrose]

Originally Posted by babydawn

I think that I get seperation anxiety when my kids are away from me. Anytime they leave the house, I worry that they won't come home, that they will die in a car crash or something, even if it is with my husband. He told me once when I was voicing my concerns "They are my kids too, I love them just as much as you do." Good point hubby.

School is starting on Monday and my kids really want to ride their bikes or walk like most of the other kids in my neighborhood. I just don't want to let them, because I am afraid that they will be abducted. It doesn't matter to me that I have checked the local sex offender registry and there are none on their route to school, or that there are probably 20 other kids from our neighborhood that walk everyday, I still panic.

A few months ago my husband and I left our 3 oldest kids with his mother for the first time for longer than one night while we went back east to see his grandma and grandpa. I was sick. What if, what if, what if, and then it also included what if I die on the plane, my kids need a mom, and not just any mom, they need ME! My husband has planned an off-roading/camping trip for he and I to go on with some friends...no kids allowed. That means I will have to leave my 8 month old baby as well. Now I am just freaked out about that. It is only for 48 hours, but the same thoughts go through my head...what if my baby is really sad because I am not there, what if we get attacked by mountain lions....(stupid, but it goes through my mind), what if we roll off of a cliff, (also stupid, my husband would never put me in harms way). I should say that once I made it back east, I was fine, but my baby was with me then.

Has anyone experienced problems like these? I just don't know what to do. I am always worrying about the members of my immediate family and their well being. Is this normal? Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I haven't thought of it as Seperation Anxiety yet, but sounds good. I feel the exact same way when my daughter (13 yrs old ) leaves the house. Your point about your husband is good, but father's never had an umbilical cord attached to them, and sometimes, Mother's keep a mental umbilical cord attachment years after their children are born. For our sanity, it has to be cut, at least that's what I am trying to do!

I feel the same as you about walking to school, my daughter wants to ride her bike and it scares me. My mind always starts thinking of all the 'potential possibilites' of what might happen along the way. I would feel much better about it if she rode with a friend, but she doesn't go to a neighborhood school so there is no one to ride with. I also couldn't bear the rest of the day wondering if she got there safely or not. Next year, when she starts high school, I am getting her a cell phone! She will also need to understand that if I call and she doesn't answer i will get very worried, so that BETTER NOT HAPPEN!

When I am not worried about her, the thoughts turn on myself and health related issues. It just never ends. I feel that it is a type of OCD (Obssessive Complusive Disorder) because it feels like my worrying goes above and beyond the normal.

I think many women suffer from this. In fact I was just talking to a friend who feels the same way regarding her children. And the other day, I spoke with a women who goes through the same feelings about her husband (she has no children). It got so bad for her that she started seeing a therapist. She was diagnosed with Post Tramatic Stress Syndrome, which is a result of past abuse issues from chilhood. The therapist said that she is basically hardwired to respond in a panic mode and that she will always stuggle with this, although there are things she can do to try and control her emotions. If you want to know what her suggestions were, let me know. They are exercises to bring her back to the present momemt so that she can start to think more reasonably about her situation.

Something that really helped me was reading a book called the 'The Power of NOW', by Eckhart Tolle. It's all about the Present Moment and that's really all we ever have, everything else is a mind-projected future. Meditation, Affirmations and Prayer can also help regardless of what Faith you embrace, even for those who have no Faith in a Higher Power. Studying Self-Realization literature by Paramahansa Yogananda (http://www.yogananda-srf.org) and Christian Science (http://www.spirituality.com) are helping me quite a bit.

I recently started using Aromatherapy and that also helps. Lavender specifically for it's calming effect.(not a commercial forum)
Let me know if you find anything that has helped you with this struggle.

Many Blessings,

Sara