[quagmire8]

The twins are 9 weeks old--still exclusively breastfeeding. They even had started to go longer between night feedings (Elise over 5 hours and Eliot over 4). The last two nights they have not been sleeping. They have not been napping or sleeping at night. Last night I saw every hour on the clock. The night before was not much better. I am so tired and at my wits end. I go back to work in three weeks and if this keeps up I dont know what I will do. I HAVE to be reasonably rested for my work. I have to be able to think fast and act quickly (NICU RN). At this point I would be a zombie at work. I am supposed to go to work tomorrow for a meeting and I dont have enough breastmilk for them to eat while I am gone. I had almost enough stored, but this morning I couldnt take it any more and had to sleep so I woke DH at 5am and he fed them each a bottle and I was able to sleep for 3 hours. I cant seem to get it together. I know I cant compare babies, but one coworker (baby 1 week younger than the twins and BFing) has a baby that is sleeping 8 hours a night--in a row! My sister has a baby two weeks younger than the twins (FFing) and my nephew is sleeping 6 hours in a row. DH asked me "what would switching to formula solve?" I dont honestly know other than the care of the babies would not always fall on me and the pressure of having enough breast milk for two babies to have while I am at work will be lessened. Other than that--I dont think it would solve anything but I dont know what else to do. The babies are coming up on the growth charts (from 5th percentile to 10th) and are healthy. I am very grateful for that and that I CAN breastfeed the babies, I just dont know what else to do.

[UberMom]

Hang in there. You are amazing and it is such a gift what you are doing for those precious babies. Having your husband help out so you can get some sleep might be just what you need to regain some sense of yourself. Its hard to keep going on no sleep, and you have a long road ahead of you. I admire your commitment to breastfeeding while also working as a nurse. Its a balancing act, and remember those babies need you to take care of yourself so you can be your best self for them too!

[chuckmusic]

I agree.. You are amazing and you're doing a great job! Having your husband help out will definitely lighten up the situation!

[mollymae]

You are doing a great job and i'm in awe of you! If you want to carry on the I know you can do it! If you want to give up or mix feed then do it. Your babies have had an amazing start and you've given them plenty of antibodies to give them a healthy start in life. You can only do so much so don't beat yourself up about it your babies want a healthy happy mom.

Whatever you decide you have our support.

[twinzplus3]

Okay deep breaths. . .deep breaths. They are not going to die if they have both formula and breastmilk and that might be what you need to do. You are not wonder woman and you cannot simply live off of no sleep. So in your priorities of care. . .you need to come first, then the babies. And yes, it has to be that way-if it's not, then you will come crashing down at some point.

You don't have to quit bfing cold turkey you know. You can pump at work, give a little formula, breastfeed when you get home. . .the point being is that it cannot and does not have to rest all on you. You must put yourself first here. I never would've been able to go back to work that quickly. . .and that certainly needs to factor into your decision.

You are going to be exhausted regardless of how you feed the babies-just know that. I knew plenty of formula feeding m.o.m.s who were every bit as exhausted as I was. . .I think you're romanticisizing a bit when you look at how lovely all the other babies are sleeping. (That's okay. . .after all. . .sleep is a beautiful thing!)

At their age they are hitting a fussy period.. . .and those will come and go from time to time. They are rough with two. . .but it's just how babies work.

I found with two it took longer to get into a schedule that was workable. You are doing a great job. . .you are not going to be a failure if you don't continue bfing exclusively. You really need to make sure your needs are met first here. You can PM me if you want to chat more.

[Samual]

You can buy donated breast milk, you might be able to do it through work as they will already have a supplier you can through.

[DK615617]

When you said they woke every hour on the hour, where they fussier than usual?? Maybe they are teething already?? (I know it is young for teeth, but don't they start bothering them really early?) OR are they fighting off something? Would Tylenol have helped?

I know with TT and with Jessica if I was seeing every hour on the hour there was more going on. Although your situation is different with there being two.

Hang in there, as far as feeding the babies goes, Val of course would be the expert as she actually has twins. Don't worry if you need to supplemen one or 2 bottles here and there. You would still be able to bf them the rest of the time!!!! I know after working so hard to get them off the formula it would be hard to go back to, but them again if it gets you some sleep.......
Just know you have already given those babies a head start on life. So many peopel don't even make it to 1 week bf, and by 6 weeks the number drops dramatically!! So, you have gone a lot longer than most babies ever even get!!!! And this doesn't have to be the end of the road.
Hang in there you are a great mom!!! Those little ones are going to be healthy and strong!!!

[quagmire8]

Thank you so much guys! I wound up separating them last night in separate beds. I did not want to do this, but I was noticing them disturbing each other during the night (for example: breaking free from their swaddle and hitting each other in the face). They slept much better last night. I elevated the head of the bed for my spitter baby and it seemed to help him as well. In 11 hours I only woke up 4 times to feed babies (twice they ate at the same time and they each woke up once on their own=each baby ate 3 times). It is funny, but just when I think I cant go any more, they allow me a little bit of much needed sleep. I still did not get more than two hours in one stretch but I got a couple of two hour stretches and that made a difference.

I am going to try this for a couple of nights, if it does not improve we may try one bottle of formula a night given by dh so i can sleep.

Samuel--Very sad to say that our NICU does not use donor BM. I dont know of any NICU in Louisiana that does (and we have contact with other NICU's due to transports in and out). It is sad--especially because I know of a few people with such over supply that they did not use the BM in time and it went unused, and they would have gladly donated.

[twinzplus3]

That's great! I'm so glad they are sleeping better. Some twins do much better together and others do much better separately. I meant to ask about that earlier but forgot.

If it makes you feel better, much of the early days of twindom is like this. . .you think you can't possibly bf anymore, you think you cannot possibly handle meal time (another seriously entertaining adventure), you think that you cannot possibly do. . .really any number of things. It's just harder with two. Then they turn a corner and that one thing you thought you couldn't do anymore suddenly is possible.

[quagmire8]

thanks val! it makes me feel better that this is normal. i know neonates very well--but now they are getting older, and i dont know anything about older babies!!! the twins are such a blessing--i really do enjoy them. i can see though that everything one would do with a single baby is pronouncedly difficult with two--and i am learning that there will always be a challenge!