[DivasMomma]

OK so back story first...The past month Kevin hasnt really been eating, and complaining that he doesnt feel good. He has been more quiet then usual. But on the plus side, we have been getting along better then we ever had in the 5 yrs we have been together. We just had our 2 yr wedding anniversary, and got to go out kid free, which was nice.

Yesterday was his birthday. We did little things all weekend, and then i made him his fav dinner and a cake last night. All day he was acting weird...bad attitude, really short with me etc. I thought maybe he was just tired. Then he didnt really eat a thing. Then we got into a little spat around 8pm last night and he stod up and just went to bed....i was so lost. I put the girls to bed and went into the room to find out what the heck his issue was.


He pretty much told me the past few weeks he has been sick because he has been trying to figure out where to live. He was leaving me. He wound up in tears talking about it because he said he "didnt want to live without the girls." He said he didnt get upset thinking about not living with me but it was the girls that were holding him back from leaving before.

To make a long story short, he left around 9pm, but was back at 130 am saying he couldnt sleep at his parents and grabbed a pillow and went to the couch.
I am so confused right now on what is going through his head...he isnt a big talker, so getting anything out of him is like pulling teeth.....what do i do???

[Samual]

Did he give any indication towards a reason as to why he wants to end the relationship, there isn't much you can do apart from try to get through to him as to why he is leaving. Until then he is just leaving you in the lurch.

[DivasMomma]

not really...just that his heart isnt in it anymore...he kept referring to us as "kids"....is he going through a mid life crisis at 24??? i mean 23-24 isnt that big of a difference, but it did all happen on his bday! He said one thing that hurt so bad he said "I dont know about how you feel, but i used to think that i would do anything for you. well, i dont feel that way anymore." It hurt so bad

[angelic_ky]

s oh Rhi, i'm sorry... i really don't know what you can do, maybe some counciling either as a couple or him going on his own

[Magic_Mikki]

Oh my gosh Rhianna. I am so sorry this is happening. Things will get easier for you guys. The first day and initial fight is the hardest, as it is with all big issues in a marriage. He is being honest, so don't get mad at him for that. I know it hurts so much!

He is a good father, right? He loves the girls. You could reassure him that you are willing to do 50/50 (if you are willing) and that might make the split easier on you, as he wouldn't be fighting you about that.

Have you tried counciling? I'm sure you've heard this a million times recently, but Jason and I tried it out last summer for a few months and it worked wonders on our communication! We've hardly fought since. Also, maybe Kevin is depressed?? I used to think the same things about my husband and I had horrible depression. As soon as I was on medication for it, I no longer felt that way. Is he taking anything, or have you brought that up at all?

Anyway, I hope things work out for you. You deserve the best in life and you're a wonderful mother and no one will ever take that away from you, no matter what happens.

[DK615617]

I am so sorry. I don't really know what to say. You can't really change the way that he feels, if that is indeed how he feels. Talking to someone may help.
I hope things work out for you! I hate that you are going through this.

[bkallens]

Hey Rhi,
I'm sorry that you're going through this. We're another set of 'kids' here - we got married at 20 and 21, lol, sometimes I do feel like calling myself a kid again. It does hit you like a punch when you partner says something like he did about not wanting to do anything for you anymore. It sounds to me more like his problem is with himself and not with you.
I think anyone that has been married for a long while has had periods where they didn't "feel" like being married anymore, or even didn't feel any love toward their partner. I think that's the point where you reflect on why you got married in the first place, and what marriage means to you. If it is based on feelings, then it's going to be difficult to continue because feelings will always wax and wane. If it is a commitment to love one another and stick through the tough times whether you feel like it or not, then there's always hope. Of course, you're not the one at this point, so telling it to you doesn't do a whole lot of good. Perhaps you can express to him that you are committed to loving him (maybe even steer clear of mentioning your feelings and emphasize your commitment) and to the marriage.
Good luck Rhi *hugs*

[2girls]

I'm so sorry Rhi!
I agree with Michelle, he almost sounds depressed. Could you/he get that checked out?

[Samual]

To me 24 is still a kid, probably not a midlife crisis but he might feel as though he is missing out on life/experiences by being restricted by a family and marriage so young. If that is the case, it should never be something that ends, or causes problems in a relationship. He may not be a talker as you say, but he needs to man up and be honest with you, he can't just sleep on the sofa and keep his head down.

What he said to you is disgusting, he can't carry on pretending to be with you for your children, that will carry on hurting you, him and your children.

[DivasMomma]

I have thought he was depressed for quite some time, but i dont know what about. We are very comfortable in money/living situations, he is doing EXCELLENT in school, and like i said, we have been getting along so great! The only thing he doesnt have are friends. Not any that he is very close with anyway. I always tell him to go out, but he just wants to stay home, or makes excuses. He is shy and quiet, and hates going to bars with his "boys" because they are loud and rowdy, just not how he is anymore. I tried bringing up counceling last night but he didnt say too much about it. Just that its too late and he feels like things wont ever change


But he came home....thats a good sign right? He said he couldnt sleep some place else and came home....