Search Results for: should marriage be for life

Building a Marriage on Dependency and Independence

I was recently reading an article that stated the key to a happy marriage was living separate lives.  That this is how you feel validated as an individual. What’s interesting about this is that in order to feel validated, you need to feel important and acknowledged.  That generally doesn’t come from within.  Sure, it should be a part of feeling validated as a person.  But since we are humans, we crave receiving this from others. Isn’t that where a spouse comes in? Don’t get me wrong.  I am not saying that you need to be so dependent on your mate … Continue reading →

Commonsense Ways to a Happier Marriage

You will often hear about “secrets” to a happy marriage.  Personally, I don’t believe there is anything secret about having a happy marriage. Most of what it takes is well known.  In other words, we know what to do to have a happier marriage.  The key is choosing to do those things. So instead, let’s look at some old-fashioned commonsense ways to keep the marriage happy.  We start with the understanding that your spouse will never be perfect. Now most of us probably don’t really think that our spouse should be perfect.  Yet we place expectations that are oftentimes unrealistic.  … Continue reading →

Why Marriage Keeps Your Brain Healthy

The next time your spouse drives you absolutely crazy, keep in mind that he, or she, is probably helping to keep your brain healthy. That is because the challenges that our spouses give us, along with the love and support, may actually be protecting our brains. In fact, according to a recent study, sharing a life with another person means that we are less likely to develop cognitive impairment than single people who are not married. The study took place in Scandinavia and included 1,400 men and women. Married people are simply less likely to develop dementia than single people. … Continue reading →

Lifestyle Prenup Agreements

If you want to financially protect yourself after getting married, you may decide that a prenuptial agreement is the way to go. I’m not here to say one way or another whether this is something you should or shouldn’t do. Each couple has to make this decision based on their unique circumstances. But I do have a bit of a problem with non-financial prenups. These are the ones based on surface issues, ones that really don’t have a place in a committed marriage. I recently heard a story about a man who wanted his future wife to sign a prenuptial … Continue reading →

Should Teens Read “50 Shades of Grey”?

I generally don’t like to comment or offer my opinion on something I don’t have personal knowledge of. So I will make a disclaimer up front…I have never read (nor do I ever plan to read) “50 Shades of Grey.” However, as a blogger covering teen topics and the mother of three teens, I have deep concerns over the rising popularity of this book. I am hearing more and more that it isn’t just adult women pouring over the pages; teens are also jumping on the bandwagon. Here is what I do know…I have read enough reviews and heard enough … Continue reading →

Finding Your Identity in Your Marriage

I never thought much about my life growing up. At times in my adult life when I’ve considered getting married, having kids, I didn’t have anything but my own thoughts at that time to rely on. It’s strange because I’m an obsessive planner for short-term details, but I can’t think of any point in my life when I’ve had a vision for the future. As a kid I always had dreams of what I wanted to be when I grew up: veterinarian, zoologist, reporter for National Geographic Magazine, but those were always just fleeting childhood whimsies. I never pictured myself … Continue reading →

5 Topics to Discuss before Marriage

How many couples do you know take the time to discuss money, children and other important issues before they get married? Maybe you jumped right into marriage without seriously considering some of these life-impacting issues. If you or someone you know is considering tying the knot, here are five topics that you should discuss before walking down the aisle. It could save a lot of conflict in the future. The first is children. Do you both want children? Nothing is more devastating than a couple getting married and one expecting to have children but the other one dead set against … Continue reading →

Passion’s Place in A Marriage

Maybe I should stop expecting television to accurately portray life or romance, but I can’t help it. Media has a subtle yet powerful influence on our thinking, especially on younger folks, that just makes me want to address the issues it raises. Fox’s trendy new sitcom “New Girl,” starring Zooey Deschanel, just wrapped up its freshman season. In the last few episodes Deschanel’s character Jess breaks up with her boyfriend after having dinner with him and his ex-wife (something that was a bad idea in the first place). At the dinner she observed the formerly-married couple at each other’s throats, … Continue reading →

This is the Rest of Your Life

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Have you grieved for your marriage? If not, you can’t heal. Although it’s not an actual death it is the death of your dream, that one that you’ve been carrying in your heart since you were a teenager. Mom and Dad who love each other raising a few perfect kids in a house with a white picket fence. It’s hard to let go and in order to let go you have to grieve what is lost. I’m not saying that you should wallow in that grief but just know that it is part of the process. Give yourself time to … Continue reading →

Friendship: the Foundation of Marriage

Last week my husband and I made cookies for breakfast. It is supposed to be healthier to eat a batch of cookies, or really any dessert, early in the morning rather than later at night. This way we have more time to burn off those extra calories. That’s not why we made them, though. We made them because the night before I’d experimented with making Pasta Puttanesca (not bad, though I think in the future I’d just swap the anchovies for tuna), and its smell still hung around the kitchen. I figured the best way to get rid of it … Continue reading →