03-02-2009, 08:19 AM
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Should Single Parents Be Deployed?
This mom is not single, but she has an interesting dilemma. She's a reservist - made the commitment before children, before marriage. Was honorably discharged years ago. Now she's called again - and her husband has a job which requires travel and she says the grandparents are not in a position to help.
I wonder how many people in the same situation see the end of their marriages, or are widowed, deserted, etc - left to raise their kids but eligible for deployment?
As for the reservist in the article, should her husband be forced to quit his job to care for the kids? Lots of wives do just that. What do you think?
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03-02-2009, 10:07 AM
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This is unfamiliar territory for me. But I have a few questions. In the beginning, before you sign up for this do they go over all the “ifs ands & buts” clearly and for ALL to understand? As a young person you may not understand what could happen in the future. Or are they too busy sweetening the deal to get more recruits.
I do think that dads need to make sacrifices just like moms. I think moms make more personal sacrifices for the family than do dads.
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03-02-2009, 10:44 AM
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They do - but....
When you enlist at 19, 21, 22 - honor your service - and then are honorably discharged for whatever reason with the provision that you can be called on the reserves - you really are not in a position to know what your life will be like at that point. Especially if you are female. Will you marry, have children? Will you be single with children? The plans you make today for future children in possible deployment - such as having a husband take care of them, or your parents - well, circumstances can change in that time.
I agree with the military on this one - her husband's job should have no bearing on her deployment, he's alive, present, healthy, and will just have to deal with it. But I'm wondering about people who are in less fortunate circumstances who are called back several years after their discharge
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03-02-2009, 11:16 AM
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Originally Posted by mcmama
I agree with the military on this one - her husband's job should have no bearing on her deployment, he's alive, present, healthy, and will just have to deal with it. But I'm wondering about people who are in less fortunate circumstances who are called back several years after their discharge
I agree too and of course they should allow some leniency in certain circumstances. Do they? How long after discharge are they allowed to call you back. People really do need to get on with there lives without the fear of having to leave there family.
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03-02-2009, 11:21 AM
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If it's OK for Dad's to go ALL the time- It's OK for Mom's, too. Harsh and cold- but the bitter truth.
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03-02-2009, 12:35 PM
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I honestly never knew they could do that until I read about this lady! To me, it doesn't seem fair, but neither does "stop loss". I wonder if the publicity will affect already low recruitment levels. Young people have likely overlooked it and at least a few may actually give it some thought after this story has given an obscure idea a real face. Who knows if some may decide they don't want the government to be able to have that level of control over their lives for however long they can do this.
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03-02-2009, 01:50 PM
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Actually, Pattie, around here the economy is spurring any college graduate who is physically fit and has an interest in aviation or water sports to consider enlisting. It's a great career path - there are no jobs for recent grads with BAs in English and other subjects - and there are plenty of active duty people here who can give them the lowdown on what is possible. Air force typically draws shorter duration deployment, but they go back more often. 3 months on, 3 months off, something like that.
Don't know what the figures are - I am sure they are not like after 9/11.
The real question is for someone that young - what are your obligations, and what exempts you?
My aunt was a WWII vet - she was in the reserves until she got pregnant in 1952. Just in time for Korea. But she had been an officer, and had been honorably discharged in 1945 - so I don't know how the timing works today. She was also in her 40s. Among that generation, there was just no question that women reservists did not go to Korea if they were pregnant!!! But these are different times.
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03-02-2009, 02:53 PM
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If the dad quits his job can they afford their children or can he afford to find care for them with his job? I don't think that its a valid reason to not be deployed but I do think everyone should put the children first and if they aren't able to be cared for then is it worth it? Do they have programs or something where the children can go while dad works? I personally think the father should just quit his job and stay with the kids.
As far as single parents....what happens to the kids when they don't have anyone who can care for them?
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03-02-2009, 03:02 PM
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That's my question - if she were single and he were not in the picture, what then? I mean, back when she enlisted, how could she predict that she would have children now and her parents would not be available?
As for his job - tough. He'll have to do what single dads who travel do - hire someone to live in.
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03-03-2009, 06:01 AM
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Due May 22, 2010
