[momnicole]

hi, i am a single of mom of 2 girls, my husband and i divorced a 1year and a half ago... my oldest is 10, and youngest is 4.. my 10yr. old hads been acting out, its gotten really bad.. i don't know what to do.. She hates her dad, she tells me she doesn't have a dad. I tell him all the time he needs to spend more time with her, but he has "social obligations".. i let her know that her father loves her, and that having 2 homes can be really cool. she lately has been talking back, being super mean to her sister, she generally is not nice.. i hate to say. I try to ignore her when she is being crabby, and talk to her all the time... I don't know if she is getting close to puberity, or is this is how 10 yr. olds act.. I am so frustrated with her stomping and pounding and yelling at everyone. i need some advice please!!! her dad is manic bi-polar, and i sometimes wonder if she is going to be like that, she has such intense highs and lows.. thanks for any advice, Nicole

[fostermommy]

Hi Nicole,
Two of my children are girls, ages 16 and 12. They both went through long phases of irritability, door slamming, foot stomping, eye rolling, etc. Girls tend to be dramatic and emotional. I have heard this from many other moms. So what your daughter is displaying may very well be just the pre-pubescent moodiness that comes naturally. However, because there are issues involving divorce and a family history of mental health issues, it may be helpful to seek some counseling. How is she doing in school? Any changes there? Does she have a few friends? If teachers and school guidance counselors aren't noting any concerns, she may just be "pulling out the pitchfork" when she's at home - which is a good thing. When my daughters were especially moody, I tried to respect their privacy, not prod too much, and let them display their anger or frustrations in appropriate ways. I never allowed them to verbally abuse me or their siblings - simply unacceptable. Sometimes I would just calmly state, "you seem angry tonight, is there something that bothered you today?" I also tried to keep the younger kids "out of their hair" as much as possible. Seems like the first PMS lasts about 2 years. ug.

[QueenAngie]

Preteens and teens give mothers gray hair. That's a fact of life.

Could be that your 10 yo is pre-hormonal or about to start her periods.

Sounds like she is angry about the divorce and her dad not giving her much attention too.

She needs extra hugs, kisses, "I love you's," and more time with you.

Do you think she needs counseling at this point?

(((Hugs)))