[ccureton502]

i just have been looking for some kinda support group to help me out. I left a ten yr domestic violent marriage 18 months ago that produced 2 amazing kids. Have been struggling with my part time job with full time benefits <ups i make decent money now just gotta a few more years in >for myself and children with child support only when he feels like sending some. I barely make the ends meet with nothing left but just to pay the bills. needless to say i met a guy a few months back, made a careless mistake one night now i am pregnant. I chose to end things with the father we are just not right for each other. He thinks because i am pregnant he can control me and my other children. I have been through something similar before. i have promised myself i would never let this happen to my children and i again. i know i dont have to be with this man to raise a baby and i dont have to be with neone who isnt right for me and my kids n make us happy. he says he wants to be part of it all. i dont want him involved with anything until the baby arrives i believe he is just saying these things to maintain and manipulate me nto a relationship with him.im scared to death. i have no money anywhere if i dont work everyday at work i dont pay my bills and if i dont work a specific amount of hours at work i lose my childcare assistance. and u all know that u miss days with pregnancy. what the heck do i do when this baby gets here and i have to be up all night alone feeding and caring for them and still take care of my two children now. my girl is 7 my son is 2. I will never sleep and my children will suffer. i messed up. i have to be strong and i can but some things you just arent physically able to handle or complete on your own.plus i was diagnosed with ppd with my son and i am exetremly worried about this. yes i have family and friends but they really have shown their true colors by some comments they have made to me about this baby. i worry if neone is gonna be there to help me during the day or night for that matter.