[twinzplus3]

You misunderstood me. I didn't mean to imply that I didn't have to worry because my kids were homeschooled. I meant that there aren't any places that they go to where I am not. I was also operating under the assumption that everyone knew my kids were quite little. I have a long while before they'll be anywhere on their own without me or dad there and that certainly limits what they can pick up, sneak into or do.

[AudreyOka]

My 24 year old, the one who really didn't cause me any headahces...when she was in high school a class was offered on parenting teens. When I joined the class, I had no idea what to expect. But it was free and it was offered through the school.

Lesson one was about drugs and alchohol. The instructor a licensed MFCC who specialized in teen drug and alcohol abuse taught the class. He spoke of experimenting. Everyone "experiments". So he then said "what's an experiment? Well in scientific terms it's an action that we are unsure of the outcome. Once we know the outcome and we've done the test again, it's no longer an experiment. We now know exactly what the result will be".

I am thankful beyond belief that I never had to deal with this, but I do know parents who have and I've been amazed, just dumbfounded amazed at how often I hear parents say "he/she is just experimenting". Often times parents don't want to deal with what needs to be dealt with.

I have a 17 year old. Many of my friends also have teens. One such mom said "all teens smoke pot". This was her justification for her own child's use. Having been through two teens, I believe most kids do try it, but I don't for a minute believe all kids smoke pot.

I believe that often a teen requires more time than a 2 year old

[twinzplus3]

Audrey I agree. My MIL said she started to be a stay at home mom once her kids were teens because that's when they needed her most.

[ahermitt]

I have tween kids... one girl almost 11, and one boy almost 13. (I indicate almost because at these ages there are big maturity jumps from one end of the year to another). Also, we homeschool.

I don't "snoop". I monitor behavior. Fortunately homeschooling my children gives me unparallelled insight into thier personalities. I can't blame a sour mood, or a desire to be alone on some unknown school factor. I can see a hormone fueled outburst before it comes around the corner. Let's just say we are intuned. This is where homeschooling makes a difference.

So as I said, I don't snoop, but I don't have to. My children know secrecy is not tolerated, but privacy is respected. Here's the difference between secrecy and privacy.

Secrecy means you need to be alone to do something you don't want others to know about. This means you should not be doing it.

Privacy means you don't want anyone to see you naked. Close the door so you don't feel embarrassed.

With that said, they both own computers, and they get cellphones at 11. If they have to get up and go behind closed doors to use any of these things, then they are placed on restriction.
Currently my daughter is not allowed to close her bedroom door, and must get dressed in the bathroom for privacy. We have not had any problems with my son. But my husband and I are researching child saftey software to guard from accidental exposure.

As for the worst kid MissCrissy knows being homeschooled, perhaps here was a problem before homeschooling? Or the "Christian Academy" is where he picked up the problems... exclusive schools tend to have more drugs because kids have more money. If this child is a result of bad homeschooling, then his parents are the issue, not homeschooling as a whole.

Sorry this went on so long... I usually save diatribes for my blogs.

[twinzplus3]

Very well said Andrea!

[QueenAngie]

The thing teenagers really dislike the most is having the door taken off the hinges from their bedroom.

It takes a screwdriver. Goes in the garage for 7 days.

While this has nothing to do with snooping, it makes them feel like their space is all exposed.

Put that door back on .....do not scratch any woodwork in the process....and that teen will be good as gold.

This is definitely something for you to remember in 15 years or so.

It works.

[mcmama]

I like that idea, Angie. Simple, non confrontational. Firm.

[AudreyOka]

Oh my gosh, I thought I was the only mom who knew how to remove a door. When I tell other moms that my kids do NOT slam their doors, they look at me like I'm nuts. Take it off the hinge one time for slamming and you'll never get another slammed door.

[twinzplus3]

No my mom did that to me!

[NJValerie]

I have to admit that I have snooped on all of my kids at one time or another when they were going through growing pains, but only when they gave me a reason to. Whenever they have become secretive (which is not normal behavior in our home), started hanging out with a questionable crowd, or just acted out of the norm I have gone through their room, read their emails, and once even logged onto their aim account as them and had a conversation with one of their friends. Unfortunatly this was something that I felt that I had to do at the time to confirm what i thought was going on, and my suspicions were correct, and they each had life changing event to change what was going on. My kids are now 15, 16, 19, and 20 and it has been a long time since I have done this, but if the gave me a reason to do it it, I would do it again and not think twice. All of them know that I have their best interests in my heart, and that I would not be the Mother that they need me to be if I just sat by and let them destroy themselves and their future.
And yes i can take a bedroom door of its hinges in a matter of 6 minutes flat! Queen Angie I thought I was the only one that did that, we have a no door slamming rule, meaning that if you are mad and go to your room to pout thats fine but that door best not slam when you do so.