[MommyDee]

Let me bring everyone up to speed first...

After multiple consultations with the psychologist and pediatrician, Gabriel has been referred to Child Development for testing; he has behavioral, cognitive, and developmental issues that lead us to believe he may have Aspergers Syndrome. Knowing that he can be very difficult to deal with at times, we have been doing everything in our power to keep the lines of communication open between us and his school.

We had spoken with his teacher and principal on multiple occasions, and also had a consultation with the school guidance counselor. A standardized evaluation form needed for the CD referral was filled out by his teacher and principal, and a copy was on his file with the guidance counselor. Recently, the school was assigned another teacher; due to the overcrowded Kindergarten classes, a third K class was created, and Gabriel was assigned to the new teacher. Thankfully, he adjusted beautifully.

Fast forward to now -- Gabriel has been out sick from school the last three days (Thurs, Fri, Mon -- pinkeye + sinus infection ) so today I went to his school to pick up some of his work so he doesn't fall too far behind. While speaking to his teacher, I mentioned that we finally have an appointment with Child Development scheduled for the end of February. Her response was a very taken aback "Oh, really?"

They told this teacher NOTHING of Gabriel's problems when he moved to her class.

I am LIVID. We were confused enough when they shuffled him off to the new class, as his original teacher was fully aware that one of his main difficulties is transitioning to new situations... BUT we also figured that the reason he was moving may be that she was having trouble dealing with him, and if so, he might be better off in the long run with the new teacher. NOW we find out that this poor woman has been thrown into the situation practically blind... She didn't even know that there had been an evaluation done on him or that the guidance counselor had been involved.

I am calling the school tomorrow to make an appointment with the principal, and I am also going to have Gabriel's psychologist call the school... and believe me, she is NOT going to be happy when she hears this.

I cannot believe they shuffled my child off and left him to fall through the cracks -- but I'll be d***ed if I let them do it.

[deedee1231]

I am so sorry for all of your troubles.
I sympathize with you completely because I have been in a very similar situation with my son, Alex. He has high functioning autism with a very superior I.Q. So he was ahead of all of his classmates academically, but not as advanced as his classmates socially or as mature. So he was labeled as a behavior problem and that never changed, even when I brought in a 32 page doctors evaluation and diagnosis.

I wish that I could tell you that it was probably just a mix-up and that once you speak to the responsable parties everything will be straightened out. I really, really hope that will prove to be the case. Unfortunately, that was not my experience. I am afraid that you may very well need to become a strong and persistent advocate for your son's right to an education. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

[Tracey with 6]

you kick their butts! if is unfair to you, Gabriel and the new teacher for them to do this, I am sure with you as his advocate he will be fine, good job mamma!

[twinzplus3]

Okay so I understand your frustration but here's another perspective "from the other side". I totally understand that it could just be different there. . .but maybe this will help.

When I was a teacher and was having major problems with a child (like the kind that would be caused by an Asperger's child) then I would need to go to the dean of students to share my concerns. At that point, the dean of students would pull out your child's file. Why? Well, the theory is that sometimes, passing the word on a student predisposes the teacher negatively towards the student. You said that he transitioned beautifully and I have to think that this is in part due to how his new teacher handles him. Perhaps she has less problems?

I certainly think that parents are entitled to explanations when they have questions. That's simply the nature of education. . .but I thought maybe having another perspective might help?

[mcmama]

It really does sound like "welcome to the warehouse". Passing on crucial developmental information, such as the child is being evaluated or has been recommended for testing is not in the same league as passing on a negative opinion.

I agree, when subbing in NYC, I used to hate it when veteran teachers decided they needed to "warn" me about troublemakers - because often I had no trouble with the troublemakers, and trouble with the normally good kids who decided to spook the sub. But this is a whole transfer, and one would assume that a portfolio and commentary would go with it, as well as items that have been communicated by parents.

[MommyDee]

Thanks for the responses and support ladies. Val, that is an interesting perspective, I never thought of it that way... but even if that is the situation here, it's still a problem. It would make sense if it were a wholly non-medical issue, but there are obvious developmental issues, some of which were brought to our attention by the original teacher. As well, every move we've made has been to keep the school and teachers informed so that he doesn't get labelled... we want them to know that there's more going on than just a "problem kid", and that we're doing everything we can to help him and them.

Meanwhile, I highly doubt he's getting to school tomorrow either... threw up all over the rug earlier. Poor kid can't win... he's pasty white, all snuffled up, two red eyes extending halfway down his cheeks, and now puking... Ahhh the joys of schoolroom germs!

[deedee1231]

Poor little guy! There are lots and lots of germs going around just now. I hope he gets to feeling better soon.

[mollymae]

I completely understand how your feeling. My eldest suffered a severe brain injury when he was in a nasty car crash at the age of 7. I was assured that all his teachers would be informed of his issues. Jack's problems are subtle and if they don't have the full picture it can look like Jack hasn't been listening or that he's being lazy. Where infact he's got very slow processing skills, poor eye coordination and strange memory function which means he can completely forget a process one day and the following day know exactly how to do it.
When I spoke to Jack's teachers none of them had been imformed he had any problems at all!! I felt let down and like my 'little' boy had been chucked to the lions with no help and then they wondered why he only scored on the 9% percentile on his cat scores!
My advice is to make sure all the reports that are done are given to the teachers not just the head of the school. Make sure they get to the people who deal with your son directly.

[brieanniepannie]

I can relate--this may be a longer post (SORRY!!!) my brother has Asperger's syndrome but wasnt diagnosed until he was, oh idk, 14? But we always had a feeling that was the situation. Anyway... The schools labeled him as a problem child--he had a lot of anger problems (not unusual with Asperger's) so they would lock him in a "confinement" room... someplace where he couldnt harm himself or others. He was bounced from school to school because no one could handle him.. and no one seemed to understand what was going on. No one knew that he had problems--they just assumed he was an out of control little boy. He didn't get a fair shot until Jr. High when we sent him to a jr. high that had a specialized program for students like him. It was a completely "normal" jr. high but they had that program and he really flourished. Today, he is 20 years old and thriving... he can drive, hold relationships, do all the normal things people his age can do. The only thing "wrong" is that he talks kinda off.. he gets words mixed up sometimes and has a different "accent" i guess (for lack of better term). And he does have the maturity of someone younger than him... but he is doing remarkably well.
It took a long time for people to take us seriously--they always chocked it up to a "bad seed" or whatever despite us voicing our concerns.. It took us transferring him to different schools until we found the one that really understood what was going on and that he wasn't a "bad boy".
Sorry for the rant--I am particularly passionate about this subject
I hope you really give them a piece of your mind...!!! Medical conditions should be mentioned to the new teachers, imo. It could potentially completely change how a situation is handled!!

[MissyChrissy]

(((HUGS))) I don't have any sage advice, but you have my sympathy. I'm sorry you have to fight so hard...but I'm glad Gabriel has you on his side.