[fullofjoy08]

alright heres the deal. i have been married for 4 years. i had my doubts in the beginning because i felt my husband was keeping alot of things from me. and when i say things i mean things. he is a very strong man with somewhat feminine tendancies i have it might be in convesation with sisters in his family or his mannerisim. i have even called him gay to his face not to mention he is very consevative in bed. no falacio except on occasion ( only 3 times in our marrage) and sex is only appreciated when he iniciates it. the things that i have mentioned are a far cry from what im used to. i thought once married there were no stipulations on sex. therefore i have changed my husband is a great provieder i to work outside the home and have done the single parent thing. he is warm compassionate, and at times attentive, he would not hesitate to give me the desires of my heart. its more than that im lonely, bored and sexurally furstrated. he works all the time and im always home. there is no foreplay just straight sex. i addressed all of these issues before marriage but still choose to go thru. i now realize it was somewhat for security. meanwhile my ex has just come back into my life we have a child together. he was the total oppisite great in bed, romantic made me feel like i was the number one thing in his life ( at times) he was also a cheater, liar and didnt half way keep a job but the love we shared was real unlike anything i have ever felt before. it was never about money with him we always made it. anyway we having talking more and more these days and he seems to have grown up although it may be to easy to tell. im ok where i am but am longing for him.

[Momof2kids]

It sounds like you are very unhappy in your marriage and you settled on your husband. Now, with your ex returning you are longing for something that was in the past, and remember he is your ex (for a reason). I think maybe sharing these feelings with your husband and not trying to rekindle somthing might be a good idea. If your feeling your husband could be gay then that should be confronted too. Communication is the best that you can do and if all else fails then you have to do what is best for you, even if it means starting over. If your husband won't communicate then, surround yourself with strong friends and family to help you make it through....

[Starrlight]

I agree there's a reason your ex is your ex.
You need to seperate the two issues. Dealing with your issues with your husband should have nothing to do with your ex. If you're unhappy in your marriage you need to deal with that and not bring what feelings you might have for your ex into it (you might just be feeling better towards him because of the problems with your husband).
But it's best to sit down with him and go through the issues/concerns you have - maybe even counseling is worth a try.
Good luck.

[1stTimeMomOf2]

I also agree - your ex is an ex for a reason. You are longing for him because you are missing something in your current relationship. I think you really need to analyze the true reason you are sexually frustrated and think of things your dh can do to help you. If he's willing to give you the desires of your heart then he should be willing to give you other desires too. Sex is a true connection that should be mutually enjoyed. If he doesn't know how to satisfy you, then tell him how or show him. If you are comfortable enough with each other then you shouldn't feel awkward doing that. If you're open to it explore the book shelves in your local bookstore or hell even a cosmo magazine gives sex tips on how to spice things up in the bedroom. I think you should stop talking to your ex in a manner that would invite infidelity into your life and focus on your relationship with your dh. If you fix the current relationship you'll have no reason to go astray and sex is not a good reason to cheat or even think about it.If there are more reasons that you are unhappy and he's not willing to sit down and talk then I also agree that counseling could help.

[mcmama]

Don't jump from one thing to the other on the rebound.

And if you think your husband is gay, there is support for you - even if you are just wondering. The Straight Spouse Network has been of invaluable support to me.