[laker]

Hey people

Im 18 and becoming very frustrated with myself. I have a girl friend who I love so so so so much it’s unreal. She’s my first real love and we have been going out for 3 years now. We started going out when we were 15 and since then its been great, we have had are ups and downs but its all worked out fine.
Now I have come to a small problem what I think will put are relationship in trouble. I have become extremely sexually minded and I must be honest im decussated with myself. My girlfriend and I both lost are virginity to each other and have had sex a number of times. My problem is that I feel im becoming to sexual. Im fighting myself not to be to sexual towards her. The last thing I want is for her to feel like im pressuring her. I really don’t want to hurt her and she does sometimes need to give me the little look as in NO not today. I fully understand and back off. At the time I may feel abit down but afterwards I feel better that we didn’t do it. (if that makes any sense)
I’ve read a number of issues on the forum here and I understand its because im a teenager and all. But I want to know if theres anything I can try and do to carm my mind of it.
Are relationship is great and fun, I just don’t want to ruin it by becoming sexually minded.

Any advice on ways I could try and carm the mind

Also I so give her time and breaks, including myself.
When I know im becoming to hyper so to speak, I sometimes restrain myself and walk away from her. Only because I don’t want to effend her by coming onto her.

I really love her and I know she loves me, I just don’t want to hurt her because of this silly teenager stage.

[JeanLynn81]

Hi-Welcome to Families!

How mature and wise of you to know your gf so well, and to back off when needed! Are you sure you're 18? Just joking-that's a compliment!

When I was a teen, and my bf got too frisky, I would just start asking him how his grandmother was doing.

[laker]

lol that would work .

But the thing is I don't want her to know how much I think about sex. Im afraid if she new, she would feel like thats why im there. But before we had are first time together we went a whole year without sex and it was greatI feel that because ive experianced it now its on my mind more
And the last thing I want my girlfriend for is sex. I know that in my heart, but at the moment these feelings are rushing through my head I love her because of the companionship (<- spelling error I think lol) and shes more then just my girlfriend shes my best friend. And that I don't want to loose

[tymee]

I think sex is on a lot of people minds more than we tend to think it is...human nature in my opinion. I think if you are in a loving and strong relationship you need to be open and honest with her...let her know how you feel, and let her know that you love her for her heart, her company, her friendship...and that you are beginning to have the urge to have sex with her more...
Have you talked to your girlfriend about this? In all honesty, maybe she is having the same urges you are, you two are young and have already brinked on a sexual relationship together, you two are best friends. That way she knows, and then you can gage by her reaction on if you need to maintain your urges, or if she is willing to accept the increase of activity.
I think it is very respectful that you hold yourself back, to make sure she isnt uncomfortable, and very mature and honorable of you. Just talk to her, you two seem to be in love, and in a great relationship, and can come up with a compromise

[laker]

Thank you tymee for your comments. I know I need to tell her but im wurried it may all come out the wrong way. I would understand also if she said to me oh by the way I want more sex. I would be a little wurried because its not eather of are nature to talk to each other like this. I treat her with the respect of a woman and thats give her the privacy and time. I feel I might cross the line abit talking about sex in such a way. ahhhhhhh confusing

[JeanLynn81]

Imo, if you are mature enough to have sex, then you certainly should be able to talk about it.

I'm assuming by your op that your gf is 18 also? I'm sure she can handle the conversation. And you two have been together 3 years! There should really have been a high level of trust built up in that time. I doubt she will slap you or call you a pervert or anything! Go for it and good luck to you!

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board, Laker!

Glad you have asked some questions.....hopefully we'll be able to help you.

How old is your girlfriend? Your age? Please tell me she is of legal consenting age, Laker.

Kensington Reports state that men think about sex every 52 seconds.
Women think about it once a day....per the report.

That does not mean that men are actually having sex every other minute.
Just because you may think about ice cream every other minute
does not mean you should indulge by eating ice cream every other minute.

I have two sons: 17 & 21.
I'll give you the same motherly advise I have shared w/ them.
1) Don't have sex until you get married.
2) If you have sex, wear a condom to protect you and the young lady.
3) You make a baby, you will be the Dad for the next 18 years and take
this responsibility.

OK, you are allready having sex, so protect yourself and your girlfriend.

As stated above, you need to talk to your girlfriend about your feelings.
You and every other 18 yo young man have those same feelings.

Respect and communication go a long way in a relationship.

Welcome to the board!

[laker]

yeah she is my age, shes like 5 months older then me. I know theres loads of trust between us so I am going to tell her how I feel. But explain to her its just a little phase im going through at the moment.
Thanx for the mums advice I always were the condom purly for the reasons you stated
Im going to talk to her and im sure it will be fine . I just need to put it into the nicest way posible.

Thanx for all your advice

p.s so how im feeling is not wrong in anyway but a learning experiance?

[tymee]

Laker:
Your feelings are natural, many people have the same thoughts. I believe that if you two have a strong relationship you should be able to talk to your girlfriend without her getting upset, and a vast population knows that men tend to think of sex more often than women. It is how you act on your thoughts that counts.
And it is really good to hear that you respect her as a woman! And are protected!!
Just keep in mind that your thoughts are normal. Talk to your girlfriend and express to her how you feel.

[MJ7]

Laker, you need to understand your urges are a normal thing for your age. Most young men are at their sexual peek at your age and women don't hit theirs typically until around 30. Seems unfair, but I'm sure God knew what He was doing designing it that way. Can you imagine the population boom with young adults if BOTH hit their peeks at the same age.

So, you've been with this young lady awhile, love her, have only been with her; have you thought about giving your whole self to her in marriage? I'm just curious if some of the guilt you might be feeling (my interpretation based on your posts) might be resulting from feeling like you are using her a bit because you have needs--even though I understand you really do love her imensely. I was married young (at 19) and met my dh at 16. I didn't feel used having my boyfriend as a husband because I knew he'd truly committed his whole self to me.

Best to you.