[VinniesMommy]

Vinnie is OBSESSED with driving. Anything with a steering wheel and he is hooked. Anything that is a circle becomes a steering wheel. When he gets in the car, he tries to climb in the drivers seat ((which is NOT allowed - my parents started him on this, now it's tough to break)) and when I pull him out, or tell him to get in his seat, he freaks. If we walk by the quarter rides in the mall, he freaks out and wants to ride them. Some times I'll let him, some times I don't, but whenever I don't, all heck breaks lose and he has a complete melt down. For his x-mas my grandmother got him a cozy coupe car and because it's cold, we let him keep it in the house. That kept him happy all day, it's all he wants to do. There was one nice day, so we took the car outside and it got muddy, so I won't allow it back in the house ((all of our carpets are off white and brand new)) and now he fights to go outside ((it's bitterly cold and muddy)) and freaks out when he can't go in... it's terrible! All over driving. Today, I took all the kids to Bounce U ((which is AWESOME)) and there was an arcade when you first walk in, and there was a driving game. I had to fight with him to go into the room with all the blow-up things, and then when we were done and in the room with the snacks, he brought it up again, and had a melt down because I said he couldn't drive it again because we had to go home. After over an hour of going crazy and having fun and jumping off the walls, the kid has a TERRIBLE melt down because I won't let him drive again. I'm at my wits end. I am tired of always fighting with him over this driving thing. We always have a fight. He acts like a spoiled brat when he doesn't get his way, and he's not spoiled! We couldn't just have a fun outing today, he couldn't enjoy what we went there for, he had to drive. It's driving me nuts! Maybe I am spoiling him without knowing it... I don't know. How to I stop this bratty behavior???

[fostermommy]

Whoever invented the "terrible two's" never had a 3 year old. Three is the worst. As I write this, my 3 yo foster child is screaming his lungs out because he wants a cookie. Not crying......shrieking.
I've raised 3 kids into their teens now, and work with Birth to 5 year olds who have developmental disabilities. I have read and tried all the tactics - and this is the only one that works:
IGNORE. Never ever give in to a tantrum. Don't even give him eye contact. Be consistent. Whatever decision you make - stick with it regardless of his actions. Give choices when possible - but only when you can follow through with whatever choice he makes. At first it's hard to ignore the behavior - but it actually gets quite easy. In a public place - if he starts screaming - I take him to the restroom and sit him on the floor (yuck) or I strap him in his car seat and wait outside the car for him to stop. If he can't stop, we go home. At home, I just walk away from him when he starts the screaming. If he becomes destructive with his tantrum, I put him on the time out rug (no eye contact, no conversation) and I keep putting him back there until he's done.

Certainly there are triggers to tantrums that need to be avoided - fatigue and hunger. If those needs are met, then the fit deserves no recognition whatsoever. When he's done, we move on.

This will pass. He will be the sweetest 4 and 5 year old ---------believe me. At 15 / 16 ........well..........the tantrums start up again but this time he will have words.

Best wishes.

[burfield1mom]

Originally Posted by fostermommy

I have read and tried all the tactics - and this is the only one that works:
IGNORE.

AUGH - The threatning 3's - then there's the fearless 4's
When my son was 3 I thought I was going to loose my mind. I kept thinking please let this pass before he's a teenager. By ignoring them it's a silent form of disipline and kids don't understand it. I even made a "mommy time-out' place. When they are screaming you feel like your going to loose it, put yourself on time-out and regroup. Tell the kids that your on time out. The temper tantrums are easier to deal with after you have had a chance to breathe.
As for the dirty car. If it would make your life easier - put it in the bathtub and give it a good wash down. During the winter months giving in to simple things can save on your sanity. My son is 6 and we homeschool, winter is terrible on us unless we can find something for him to do with his outside energy. We park my car outside put a heater in the garage and let him ride his bike in circles, skate board, hit nerf balls; anything physical and indoor safe for my sanity that he can do in the garage.

[VinniesMommy]

Thank you for all of the advice... I will definitely try it. I try to ignore it now as much as possible, but there are a lot of times I try and talk him out of his fit, and that seems to make it worse.

Oh, and the car is a ride on/ride in kind of toy, so it's WAY to big to fit in the tub, but thanks for the advice!