[DaddyX]

Hi all,
New here.

I dave a 13 year old step-daugther that has gotten in with the wrong crowed. She's not involved with drugs yet, but knowing the crowd she is hanging out with, and the parents of some of those kids, it's only a matter of time. I've been looking to start the whole drugs discussion, but doing it in a relaxed kind of way (given that I'm the step-dad, I don't want to be seen to be walking around with a big stick etc.). To that end, what I have done is buy a book called 'Dying to Survive' which is the story of an Irish woman who got addicted to heroin at 14 years old, and nearly lost her life because of it. She also nearly lost her arms before that, because she had been injecting so much drugs into her arm.

What' good about the book is that its got a really grizzly picture of the lady (Rachel Keogh is her name actually) and her arms before she turned her life around. The drugs had eaten away the flesh on her forearms. What I'm going to do is leave the book lying around and let it start a conversation. I'm reading it at the moment, and if I think it is suitable I might let her read it to. I think this approach is better than getting preachy about drugs, because some kids like to rebel for rebellings sake.
What I'd like to know is if there are any other books out there that someone could recommend. Or better still, any ideas of how to get her to stay away from drugs without giving her reason to 'rebel'.

Thanks in advance.
Best regards,
Anthony

[JeanLynn81]

You shouldn't have to worry about walking on eggshells around a child.

If she is going to rebel, it won't be because of drugs alone. The biggest factor is the "wrong crowd" she has gotten herself into. You need to nip that in the bud, even if you wind up moving to get her away. That's the most important things.

As teenagers, our friends have tons of influence over our lifestyle. Don't you remember that age?

Either way...good luck! I am SO relieved that talk is still a long ways off for me. Whew!

[rookssj]

The best way to keep your child out of trouble. Do something with them and enables you to become someone of value.

I have daughters who were interested in exotic birds when in there teens. We all got involved and went to bird shows, breeders and suppliers and learned about them together. We all cooked together and we taught them to swim.

I have sons who played basketball, baseball, cub scouts and the like and I was envolved with it all. I taught them about lawn equipment and construction repairs.

In other words talk is easy when you are seen as someone other then parent. That happens on days when you are having fun camping or just having fun.

I usually just come right out and ask about specific things sometimes they joke around it but eventually it comes out and we discuss how to be prepared to deal with the situations.

Remember also not every child that experments with drugs is a hard core heroin user. No matter what, they are your child so confront, talk and discuss. Don't let it get into a shouting match you will lose if it does.

As far as friends don't decide on a book by its cover. Sometimes those we least think are the problem are the problem.

Kids are smart.