[Kirst10]

My current BF of one year is separated from his wife but not divorced. They have been apart 5 years. There are 2 kids which they split 50/50. He and I dated when we were 13 - 14 years old. We lost touch for many years as I moved away.

We all went to school together as we are from a small town. She was his highschool sweetheart and they married in their early 20s. They grew apart are friendly to each other considering themselves good friends.

Today I am concerned that he has some sort of separation aniexty from her. He says that they are not divorced because of the money, but the separation is legal and all monetary exchange has been finalized. She owns a home with another man who is also separated and has for a few years now.

My BF says that he will get divorced because he would like to be married to me. He has asked me to move in right away and think about selling my place to live with him. We would need a bigger place.

The problem is he has been talking like this for the last 4 months with nothing actually being done. I don't expect it to happen overnight but there is no steps being taken at the moment.

I am thinking that if I move in that he will never divorce. I have never married and would like to be married to him.

I am afraid of taking my $100,000 of equity out of my home for fear she could take part of our house if we buy one while he is married. I have shared this thought with him and he thinks it is stupid.

I don't understand what is stalling this divorce.

[mcmama]

You need to consult a lawyer immediately for your own questions. Well worth the money spent on the pre nup advice.

People who stall divorces when the financials and custody are worked out have issues, unless there is a problem with the courts. I've been trying to pay back an overpayment of child support my ex paid when our youngest was emancipated - and for 3 months the county has been dragging their feet to give an actual number of how much has to be reimbursed to him by them, and how much by me. Meantime they keep charging him for arrears. So much for justice in Sopranoland - oops, I mean NJ. So sometimes court systems are disorganized and make simple matters very unneccessarily complicated.

But if there is no court/judge/system failure reason, then the delay is about someones lawyer or someone just not signing things. And that is a problem. There is something he is not telling you, maybe.

Don't sell your home until you are absolutely sure you are protected, and that he is actually being honest with you and not setting you up to be sponged off of.

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board!

#1 protect your own financial interests.

While he may be separated, he definitely is NOT divorced.
And you are dating a married man.

I think he needs to 'get his house in order' financially, emotionally, and physically before you purchase anything together.

Good luck!